i love 07

everything burns...

2007-01-12T22:45:00.000+08:00

I am in an unstable...trap. I do not want to like him.
And yet i do. I still do.
I told myself onti na lang.
yes, onti na lang. But that "onti" is still dangerous enough in itself.
I saw him everyday this week.
Mere chance, perhaps?
And i would usually quell the feelings inside and just flit my eyes somewhere else.
It's there - the little bit of happiness in seeing him.
But i just blink my eyes and ignore the knocking in my heart and head.
Bago na naman mga status niya...
"Tama na nga yan (name niya)...hindi naman niya pinapansin."
And last night...i don't know the exact words...si mi kasi ang nakabasa...basta parang hindi na daw siya maghihintay.

And that news - curse me - lifted me up even for a bit.
I know that Mia knows that deep inside i smiled with that news.
But not that much kasi even if he moves on, it doesn't mean that he'll like me, won't he.
Plus...there are a lot of things about him that i don't think i'd like.
'Tis too dangerous to like him much because if suddenly decides to play around, he might see me as the most vulnerable and possible target to trifle around with.
And i'd hurt him back if he hurts me.

And then i've been hearing his name the WHOLE day. Starting with my first class...dahil dun sa movie na pinalabas...hanggang dito sa mga songs...and no matter how much i want to avoid thinking about him...makarinig lang ako ng name niya. talagang space-out and remember.

haaay nako haeja katimangan na talaga yan.

Tapos i didn't see him the whole day. As in. and as much as i hate to admit it even to myself, i missed seeing him. Seeing that swept up 'do.

haaaay nako. and so i went to his classroom just to get a glance. haha. andami nakakita sa'min ni mia, grabe. anyway, wala kasi sila teacher

at that time. pinatawag ko si sis tapos sabi niya wala naman daw nakatingin and so i peered inside the room and saw his back. i quickly darted out outside. and when i turned away, sabi ni sis bigla naman daw tumingin sa'min!!! hay nako. sabi niya baka daw narinig boses ko.

ewan ko lang. haaay nako.

siguro feeler lang siya. or talagang lakas ng vibes niya. pero everytime na tinitignan ko siya, tumitingin din siya!!! Feeling ko talaga nararamdamn niya na nakatingin ako!!! Super na talaga yun.

Ay eto...kasi i've been writing notes to steph na tinatabihan niya...tapos may sulat ako dati:
"Ewan ko ba kung bakit type ko siya...di naman gwapo..."

Eh matagal ko na sinulat un. like last year pa ata...anyway, tapos binalikan niya yun page na un. Sabi niya "Kilala mo ba kung sino yan?" Sabi

ni steph "Hindi!"
Ang feeling ng dating niya eh noh. Hindi ko alam kung inaalam ba niya kung alam ni Steph na siya yun...or inaalam niyang siya un. Hay nako.

FEELER. FEELER. FEELER. bahala ka na nga...gagawa na lang akong homework...

Tama na talaga 'to!!! bagong taon, bagong lovelife, haeja!!! magbuhos dili ka!!!

you know what...i liked you. really liked you. liked you enough to actually care for you. i like a lot of people but it doesn't mean i care for them. i really did start to care for you. just a bit. it's a good thing i didn't fall for you. everything would have been wasted. and everything burns.

whew

2007-01-10T21:58:00.000+08:00

this morning i was really itching to shout out loud. blogger won't open. i posted somewhere else. at least i got it out of my system.

i'm moving on!
i'm washing you right out of my hair!

i'm back for another one...

2007-01-08T23:10:00.000+08:00

I finally pulled through. Only very few people know about this. and even fewer people know how i really feel. and only 2 people are "in-the-know" with the WHY. and only 1 person understands. It was a destructive...experience in my part. I 'almost' crashed but God took hold of me and straightened me out. I was able to shake myself and clear my head during the break and these past few days, I've been in a state of emotional stability. YEY ME! :) anyway, so now i'm okay. I've finally emerged from the crazy state i've been in.

This is, again, one of those rare times i'll share my very personal thoughts. I'm not comfortable with expressing my innermost feelings and thoughts. and i only talk to buz about the really personal stuff that bothers me. but anyway, i'll explain what happened anyway. i DREAMED. i HOPED. i WISHED. and i crashed. i got burned in the face. i didn't get it. it's very hard to explain and even with this "willingness" to share this things, this will still be very vague. I dreamed about it and i wanted it so much but it just wasn't it. maybe i was rushing things. or maybe it's just not that way. i still haven't seen my sign. i'm waiting to see it and it's not yet there though i've already given up. everything happens for a reason but this time, i've turned back and walked away from the waiting. coz it nearly ruined me. there are very few times that i dreamed that way. and it was the FIRST time i wanted that. everything happens for a reason. but i decided i will not let anything take hold of my other dreams and of my life and ruin them. no matter how much i want to forego everything and let myself crash even ONCE, i can't. i've learned to love myself too. and i won't let myself down. maybe you'll think it's negative but for me, it helps: when everyone else is gone, you only have yourself to lean on. [well aside from God]. and that's my thinking that's why i can't crash.

anyway, i just wanted to share that one. if you know my very privvy blog, then you probably know what i mean by that experience. and i'm going to stop talking about it right now.

buz told me i'm the strongest person she ever met. she said it looks like i can pull through anything. i can crash, fall, burn, and rise and everything's okay. she says it's like nothing ever fazes me. that no matter what happens, i somehow end up smiling. i saw Dondi the other night too and he told me he has my picture with ---n. i asked "Nakangiti ba ko dun?" he said "oo naman! Un ang gusto ko sa'yo eh!" i've been thinking [as usual] about why i always smile even when i just realized my inner sufferings and i found out why. It's because i have the idea that no one wants to hang out with someone who's always sad. I have no problem smiling all the time even with all my heartaches because i don't want to be someone who's always sad. i just want to smile. i choose to smile despite all the hidden pains. and after 4 years of mental torture and loneliness, i've opened my eyes and began to draw happiness from the nature and things i see around me. God gave me a lot of reasons to smile and i want to smile for everyone of them.
And it's a tried and tested fact that when you're not smiling, it's more tiring. Frowning facial muscles are a drag. I swear. it's like...SAD. so just smile. I've finally found my inner happiness and it resides in my heart amidst all the hurts i keep inside. i do hope you'll find your inner happiness too :) choose to be happy :)

***
Cj, i'm so happy for you. It's so nice to hear of a new love amidst all the heartaches. And i'm really glad you found someone. :) Goodluck, okay? :) Take good care of her! :) Friend yan ng friend ko! hehehehe. =p

***
I'm quite contented with my lit notebook grade. At the start of the sem, i had the notion that she doesn't like me. i think it's because she thinks i'm a lazy bum in her class and that i don't take down notes. There was even a time she reprimanded me because i stopped writing and was listening to her. i was already finished copying the notes and i even wrote down what she said so i just pretended to write things. then when she gave back the notebooks this morning, she didn't slam my notebook on the table, she really waited for me to get it from her hands. i was so afraid with the grade and turns out i got a 1.0!!! :) Okay, so it's a small thing. But it is something. I think she's changed her opinion of me because she chose me as the team leader today [something which never ever happened before]. and she mentioned my name in our class coz she was so pissed with my other classmates over their own notes. i guess, at least even a bit, i reached her standards and redeemed myself in her eyes. Thank God. I was actually getting quite tired of the course because i thought i wouldn't do well enough but then she liked my notes so now i'm very motivated.

Now if i can only get THAT motivated with Theo.........
***
I'm very confused with my 2nd and 3rd choices for the course. i still have a week to think about it anyway but i want to get my head straightened out over that one.

***
My Lord, thank you for helping me get back on track and for helping me straighten out myself. Thank you for helping me get a clear head so that i was finally able to plan out our pol. gov project and arnis thingy. Thank you, Lord. :)

***

Take care :)

rant

2007-01-08T22:59:00.000+08:00

i want to rant...this time because i thought okay na ko.
turns out i'm not.
hay. i hate you. i really hate you. man, i hate you.

ranting

2007-01-07T18:44:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO RANT.
but since i'm pressed for time, i'm going off :D hehehe. i just wanted to blog lang talaga. aun, sige. ingat!!!

him

2006-12-25T20:40:00.000+08:00

you know what's kind of bothering me right now?

i'm trying to get over this insane crush.

he's such an immature ass. but i still can't get him out.

his smile is deadener.

damn it. when i'm ol, he tries to fill me with his presence.

no damn it. feeler lang ako.

he loves someone else.
i LIKE him.

i'm insane! he's insane! we're all fucked-up fools in this insane world!

sorry, nagddrama lang. for crying out loud...i just want to get him out.

this vacation would be the perfect time.

he texted last night to greet me Merry Christmas. i didn't reply.

He ymed me today to greet me again. AGAIN, i didn't reply.

Will he take the hint and back off?
He ymed me before to thank me for lending him a book. I didn't reply.

Does he not get it?
is he positively naive?

Argh!!! i haaate him. this is crazy.

i like him.
i am so in denial.
but because of what he did...kung dati, 100% ultimate crush ko siya...

ngayon nasa 30% na lang. and i'm not in denial with that one.

if he takes notice of me, will i respond? maybe it will take kind of a long time to trust him again.

insipid immature ass that he is...he hurt me.
whether on purpose or no, that still hurt.

2006-12-25T20:22:00.000+08:00

i long for you and have been longing for you for almost a year.
i've been waiting for you to come out and grace me with your presence.
i long for much more knowledge about you,
i long for more news about you...
and this absence...breaks my heart.

Your Expression Number is 8

Driven and ambitious, you have the potential to reach great things.You're both good with money and good at getting things done quickly.You are an excellent leader and a great judge of character.
Full of energy and confidence, you undertake projects that seem impossible.Dependable and determined, you are able to understand the bigger picture.Even if you are not in a position of power right now, it will fall to you.
At times, you can be very materialistic - and obsessed with status and power.While this isn't always a bad thing, you sometimes take it to the extreme.In order to be truly happy, you must balance the material and spiritual in your life.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourexpressionnumberquiz/">What's Your Expression Number?

Your Dominant Thinking Style: Modifying

http://images.blogthings.com/whatsyourthinkingstylequiz/modifying.jpg">Super logical and rational, you consider every fact available to you.You don't make rash decisions and are rarely moved by emotion.
You prefer what's known and proven - to the new and untested.You tend to ground those around you and add stability.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourthinkingstylequiz/">What's Your Thinking Style?

You Are 36% Open Minded

http://images.blogthings.com/howopenmindedareyouquiz/open-2.jpg">You aren't exactly open minded, but you have been known to occasionally change your mind.You're tolerant enough to get along with others who are very different...But you may be quietly judgmental of things or people you think are wrong.You take your own values pretty seriously, and it would take a lot to change them.

How Open Minded Are You?

You are a Believer

http://images.blogthings.com/whatsyourreligiousphilosophyquiz/believer.jpg">You believe in God and your chosen religion.Whether you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu..Your convictions are strong and unwavering.You think your religion is the one true way, for everyone.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourreligiousphilosophyquiz/">What's Your Religious Philosophy?

You Are 44% Perfectionist

http://images.blogthings.com/areyouaperfectionistquiz/perfectionist-3.jpg">No one would call you a perfectionist, but you definitely have a side of you that strives to be perfect.Try to see your mistakes as learning experiences, and don't be so hard on yourself when you screw up!

Are You a Perfectionist?

You Are 56% Intuitive

http://images.blogthings.com/howintuitiveareyouquiz/intuitive-3.jpg">Your intuition is often right, and you use it more than you may realize.Your gut feelings are usually a good guide, but you need more to go on when making a decision.You'll often check to see if the facts back up your feelings.And when your intuition is wrong, you work to improve it for the future.

How Intuitive Are You?

You Are Sunrise

http://images.blogthings.com/whattimeofdayareyouquiz/sunrise.jpg">You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary.You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts.All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

Your Personality Profile

http://images.blogthings.com/worldsshortestpersonalitytest/green.jpg">You are nurturing, kind, and lucky.Like mother nature, you want to help everyone.You are good at keeping secrets and tend to be secretive.
A seeker of harmony, you are a natural peacemaker.You are good natured and people enjoy your company.You put people at ease and make them feel at home with you.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Are 44% Lady

http://images.blogthings.com/areyoualadyquiz/lady-3.jpg">You're part lady, part modern woman.Etiquette is important to you, but you brush aside rules that are outdated or silly.

Are You A Lady?

You Are More Mild Than Wild

http://images.blogthings.com/areyouhotquiz/mild.jpg">You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are.Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Are You Hot?

last day of the sembreak... :(

2006-11-05T15:59:00.000+08:00

It's the start of the sem tomorrow...
It's the start of another period in my dowdy life of grueling papers, teeth-grinding tests, and sleepless nights.
Once more will eyebags grace my queenly face and i will be more tired due to my tight schedule.
Once more heavy, tired thoughts will be placed upon my brow.

Mais oui. I will be perpetually beautiful even with all the pressure.

I've fallen for the break's last week. I have given up the hope of actually recovering but after calming in the waters and letting go of the stress and fears, i have decided i will not break down. i will tread lightly. i just really feel so tired because i did give so much last sem only to have it fall oh-so-short. I'm still feeling unsure. At the start i will be taking tentative steps, light ones, until i tread on leveled ground.

this is bad. it's wrong to start off on a sad tone and a tentative smile.
I feel like i've given away all my carefree smiles last sem...
Sigh. i'm just not happy nor do i feel energetic enough to actually start the sem.

Oh well. i'm so sorry, this doesn't sound like me at all, does it?
Oh it sounds so gloomy and so dark!
I'm so sorry guys if you've read this.
I hope I didn't pull you down with my gloominess. Just smile, okay guys?
Okay so maybe this is just the sad side of my face that people hardly ever see.
Just forget about this. I know i'll be fine...

Just smile, guys! :)
i hope you'll have a great sem! :)

bye!

2006-11-04T21:40:00.000+08:00

what a day.. we went to cavite beach today, i got burned by a jellyfish!!!!!!!!!!!
i know i said i'm going on a blog-leave. oh i am. i'm going on a multiply blog-leave because i have to. because i'm too confused to actually blog something worthwhile...
i'm waiting for my pics in multiply to publish but it's taking so long...
hay i'm tired and i do need rest...i just need to lay down.

my dad taught me how to meditate in the water, how to relax and how to let the tide wash over you while you let everything fall away. i tried, yes i did, while trying to keep the salty water out of my eyes and while trying to breathe as much as i can [which has been very hard]. i'm happy he taught me that exercise. :)

i knew it. i just need a couple of days away from him and i already detached. i know i'll probably go gaga once may mangyari na naman but i do hope na walang mangyari so i can just move on. Let me be, i plead.

thou art a confusion.
thou art a my bane.
yet thou maketh me smileth
like a doofeth

argh.

my dad

2006-10-31T22:48:00.000+08:00

I'm still not getting welllllllllllll. i don't know what's wrong....i've been getting fever on and off the past few days and i get splitting headaches. i
think it's eye strain but i'm not really sure...*i know i promised myself i won't blog nor use the computer for one whole week because i'm getting sick but i have to. I've been getting eye-strain lately because i've exhausted my eyes out for the past few days. i've stayed up late [every night] just to finish reading my pocketbooks and i wake up early and what-nots. but this time, i'm not blogging for myself, i just want to share this stuff.

my sister got really sick last saturday morning. she woke up with a 40 degree fever which didn't abate until the afternoon. It went down to 39.5 but then it shot up again. she had chills and she was complaining of a back ache. my dad didn't go to work that day. he just stayed at home and rested and tended to my sister. then on Sunday, they brought her to the hospital because her fever still didn't go down and stayed there until noon today. my dad didn't go to work yesterday and this morning. he only went back to the office around 4pm today.

right now i'm going to talk about one of the most important people in my life : My dad.

My dad is an absolute workaholic. He's well on his 28th or 29th year of working as a professional but if you add the years he's worked as a student, i think it adds up to more than 30 years already. He's worked various jobs such as one of those cargo men in the piers and a salesman for so many years and a manager and finally, he fulfilled his dream of owning his own business. He does not drink, smoke, nor does he have any mistresses. He's just a plain old workaholic. I think i only saw him smoke ONCE because he was with his bosses and he's just a social drinker. In my 18 years, i only saw him get drunk TWICE. When i was a kid, i never saw much of him because he was always gone off to work somewhere. I never got close to him before so i don't know him really well. I see him much more now when i'm a teen than when i was a kid. Of course we had a lot of fights and sometimes we still do. Oh, i forgot to mention he belonged to a fraternity back in college and he was the one who paddled the guys' asses during initiation. He can slap the hell out of you and he almost spanked me twice but he never did.

back to my dad's workaholic attitude... For the whole time my sister got sick, he did not go to his office. In fact, he was the one who stayed by my sister's side during her hospital stay and he took care of her really well. That surprised me because my dad is such a workaholic that even on holidays, he works. Even during Saturdays, he works and every Sunday night, he works. From Monday-Friday, he works up to 10 pm. That is how much of a workaholic he is. When i got sick last month, he was in Rizal and he immediately went over to me when he found out i was in the hospital. Needless to say, i am very much surprised when he didn't go to work. I mean, hello? My dad goes to work even when he's sick and then he didn't go to work because he tended to my sister? I mean, my mom's very used to that late-night tending for the sick as she has been taking care of everyone in the family for so long but he decided to take care of her. Wow. I am pleasantly surprised.

my dad can be such a boor and he does not listen [like every other guy] but i love him still sooo much. In fact, as much as i can hate him sometimes, i realize now that if i was to look for a guy, it would be someone just like him. He hates smoking and i think i picked that up from him. My biggest turn-off is smoking. In fact, i just see one cig. stick twirling around a crush's finger and it's bye-bye dearie. It's just really YUCKY. I hardly drink. I once read that when we were kids, we look at our dad and see a treasure box full of knowledge but when we grow old, we do not appreciate his knowledge at all. For me, it is the exact opposite. Since i hardly talked to him before, i never knew how intelligent he really is. I only knew that he's a math wiz but now that i'm in college, i know i can ask him about anything and he pretty much knows the answer. I can talk to him about science, math, world history, politics, and current events. That is how amazing he is. I know i will never be him nor will i ever be like him but i strive to please him as i please myself along the way.My dad = one of my inspirations.
I just love my dad.
He's simply the best.

exorcising demons

2006-10-21T20:30:00.000+08:00

"coz baby...the problem with hello is goodbye...

there've been too many hellos, too many goodbyes...

when will i say hello, without having to say goodbye...

it's heartbreaking...it's heartrending...

i wanna take a chance but i've already taken some...

but still i'll take a leap if i know there's no goodbye with you..."

hay...ang hirap hirap lumayo...

do you know that feeling...when you know you just have to go run away from someone because you HAVE to...? but you just CAN'T.

i've been writing highly personal entries lately. i've revealed a lot of things that i normally don't tell anyone. that is why i still keep names a

secret to retain a semblance of privacy. but then, these things are the things i don't really mind sharing. after all, you don't know my whole life

so you won't really understand what i'm talking about, can you?

i've been scarred for a long time. SCARRED not SCARED. for those who don't know the difference, "scarred" means nasugatan and "scared"

is natakot. i underwent psychological torture [well, for me it is.] and if someone else with a weaker mind and a darker disposition than i have

experienced it, i think she would have gone crazy too. it's not the kind of thing that everyone experiences. it's not the kind of thing that you

wish you experience. i can't say it here coz there's someone who reads my blog na kinda part nung mga yun...

but it was the most hellish thing i ever experienced in my whole life. it shook me greatly. let's just say...that there were 3 years in my life that i

experienced moral and physical degredation just because of my too-beloved ex. masyadong madaming nagmahal sa kaniya...so madaming

nang-away sa'kin. i don't think na masasaktan ako kung isa lang siya...pero they were more than 30 people. it IS too painful to recount. i have

never felt all alone in my whole life. i think i only had 3 people to lean on. and they can't do anything other than listen. and i never did anything

to them. because i was told not to stoop down to their level so i had to keep quiet and just accept the scorching remarks they make. for three

lonely years. and the three times i retorted, nagalit pa siya. bakit ko pa daw sinagot. it was too crazy.

but i learned a lot of things along the way...bahala ka na if you think it's a negative or positive effect.

*i learned not to care about what other's think.
*i learned how too keep quiet.
*i learned how to turn to God.
*i learned how to cry from the soul...and to entrust everything to Him.
*i learned the things i should not do to other people...
*i discovered how deep i can love [pero syempre, hindi pa un ang talagang "love"]
*i learned how to reach inside me and find my inner happiness and inner contentment.
*i learned how to be strong amidst all snide and hurting remarks.
*i learned how to face slander [yes, they did that].
*i learned that life is too good to waste so i have to keep my head up.
*i learned what "fear" is. i learned what "hate" is.
*i found my true friends. [i love you bes :)]
*i learned how to hold on to someone and fight for that person.
*i learned what a "one-sided" relationship is.

and so with this, i want to thank the following people. you don't know how much you mean to me.
*bes...sabel...thanks. kahit hindi kita nakakasama all those times, i know that you believed in me.

*bear. you are a great person. you taught me a lot of things. and you were there to accompany me. kahit may sarili ka ng barkada, you still

went with me. i owe you.

*jane. i think you went over the top and defended me kahit hindi dapat. but thank you. i won't reveal who you really are. kahit naiinis ako sa

ginawa mo, i'm not stupid not to recognize what you did for me.

*jkat...anak. thank you din. thank you for being there...kahit 4th year lang tayo talagang naging close, thank you for standing by all my moods

[dahil mas moody ka :D]

*yan...yeah, my friend till the end. haha! thank you for being here for me until now. pag may kailangan ako...kahit busy tayo, you know i will

always catch you when you fall. that's what friends are for, diba?

*no*mi. sana hindi mo 'to mabasa...at hindi ito mabasa ng friends mo. kahit nasaktan ako dahil...dun nga. and feeling ko naoffend kita, thank you

still. i won't forget the time i collapsed dahil hindi ko na kinaya...and you helped me and lifted me up...and then you wrote me a letter which

touched me deeply. alam ko may offense ako sa'yo. i wish i could make it up to you soon...thank you. thank you for being there.

*tin. hindi kita makakalimutan. coz when i collapsed you held me and listened to me. alam mong nasasaktan ako nun eh. thank you talaga

ah...see, i didn't forget you? :) hehe...

*FAYE. fayerz ko. i think i owe you the biggest thanks. alam ko, inaway ka rin nila. kung ano-ano rin ginawa nila sa'yo just because friends

tayo but then you stood by me and you never turned your back on me. you never left me kahit na sobra na yun ginagawa nila sa'yo just

because of me...THANK YOU. i will always be here for you - to watch and catch your back. i will be here to fend off all those damned guys

who hurt you and all those who will hurt you. i love you fayerz!!! :D miss na kita...dahil antagal mo na walang load...magload ka naman...

*liz!!! hindi na tayo nagkwekwentuhan masyado...pero thank you.dahil nung time na talagang naging close tayo, madami din ako natutunan from

you...

*sugar. one of my eternal friends. thank you. sana makakwentuhan na ulit kita...

*coop. ikaw din. we both know...na pinagtanggol mo ko. you did diba? hehe. :D and you didn't doubt me...thanks for still being here. we've

been through a lot of things...hehe. basta dito lang ako.. kahit anong kagaguhan pa gawin mo, dito lang ako. sobrang you boosted my

confidence...sobra.

syempre, hindi lang h.s. friends ko...
*aya, mia, nards, sarah. = onesan, achi, ditsy [ditse], shobe.
you guys are always here to catch my back. alam kong ang gulo gulo gulo ko and yet hindi kayo napapagod na makinig sa mga kalokohan

ko...hehe. looove you siss. o sige na nga, duqs. kahit ngayon lang tayo naging close, lagi ka nakikinig...kasi mausisa ka. haha! joke lang. thank

you nga pala, hinatid mo ko sa glorietta that time. kahit mejo sinipa-sipa pa kita dahil ayaw mo ako pansinin. hehe :D thanks sa inyo for being

here for your "kapatid"... :)

*nucie!!!! thank you nung isang araw na nagkwentuhan tayo before music. sabi mo hindi ako mukhang stressed-out. mukha lang pagod pero

hindi stressed. [madami nagsasabi niyan sakin.]...and naiyak tuloy ako! ikaw kasi eh! at alam kong nakinig ka kahit nagbabasa ka ng irereport

mo...hehehe..thank you talaga nuc ah...dahil may mga sinabi ka na talagang tumama sa utak ko...

*raine. thank you. dahil nasupalpal ako nung sinabi mong dapat i-appreciate lahat.lalo na ang time. hehe :D

*cj. thank you talaga nung araw na un ah...dahil sinamahan mo ko na makita siya...at narealize ko nung time na un na tanga ako.

*james. cui! and princess ni *ehem*...thanks. for the info. and for putting up with my craziness lalo na nung tinext natin si paella-boy.

hehehe...:D

*syempre hie...thank you. thank you. thank you. words are not enough to express how thankful i am for putting up with my moods for more

than two years.

i hope wala ako nakalimutan. hay. nakakapagod. para 'kong binalikan un inner demons ko. well i'm slowly trying to extract the pain inside...para

hindi na ko ma-hunt ng experience na yun...but i promise, if i see all of them again? i won't fall. i won't back down. i'll look you in the eyes. i

hope you've matured enough to realize that those things you did were not good. na sobrang immature nun... just because of...?! it was so not

worth it...but thank you anyway.

*exorcising demons*

milenyo

2006-09-30T22:06:00.000+08:00

i realized...
im lucky. the foundations of my house IS very strong.
i'm lucky. no one died [from me and mine]
i'm lucky. i still have the phone line. i still have water. i still have a house.
i'm lucky. i am just very lucky.
my milenyo experience.
i had the good luck to actually experience milenyo alone in the house. i woke up around 8am and then i decided to make my paper because i want to make full use of my time [we still had electricity then] and i had the luck to charge both fones...

i just sat on my bed and finished making my papers while listening to vienna's Lullaby for a Stormy Night... it is an appropriate song while i watched the rain thrash my windows. my mom & dad were both out for work [yeah, they did work] and my sisters were also out. i was absolutely alone while i watched the angry waters.
i also charged this laptop but i used up half of it anyway after the lights went out. and then the scary parts happened. i stood up and went to my window and saw the roof of the workshop of our neighbor flying towards our house! holy cow! i was so afraid coz it was flying straight at me, i actually screamed [what a sissy! haha!]. And then the pipe of one of our water tanks broke! OMG!!! I called up my mom and what a site! The trees were waving at me. haha :D and the windows behind our piano were open!!

:::Trivia: There were a lot of picture frames on top of the piano, two vases (one with a parasol, the other with the palaspas) and a little monk statue holding our rosary). Everything fell, i even had to catch the vase with the parasol from falling. There were two things that didn't fall: The monk with the rosary [it withstood the weather and the heavy curtains :) and the vase with the blessed palm]. See how God works? Yeah, he was so there with me. :::

anyway, so there. about 3/4 of our neighbor's roof was torn. And then our house got wet. Coz there were open windows in the balcony. So it got a bit flooded inside our house. I felt so helpless. all our rags were wet by then. I just tried to stop it by putting the last two "dried" rags.

And i got really freaked out i decided to just lay down on my bed and text the hours away. By 12 pm, i felt my bed shake just a bit. It freaked me out more. And then everything calmed down around 3pm and i heard my mom knock on the door. she was finally home.

it was the first time i experienced a storm alone, signal # 3 pa. Oh yeah, i was only physically alone. It scared the crap out of me, though :D Mother Nature's angst is not something i like dealing with.

the problem with hello is goodbye

2006-09-24T17:50:00.000+08:00

the problem with hello is goodbye.

i saw you.

i want to run up to you.

i want to say hi

and try to beam a smile

but then if i say hello,where would it go?

would it be forever

or would it be like the previous hellos?
coz baby the problem with hello is goodbye

there've been too many hellos

too many goodbyes...

when will i say hello

without having to say goodbye?

i want to get to know you

and maybe even spend some time with you.

but then what if we do become something more than friends,where would it end?

would it end? should it end?

its heartbreaking, heartrending

i wanna take a chance but i've already taken some

but still i'll take a leap if i know there's no goodbye...

with you...

coz baby, the problem with hello is goodbye...

there have been too many hellos

and too many goodbyes...

if i say hello, would it go on and on?

or would it be like the others,which ended before?

coz baby, the problem with hello is goodbye...

it's heartbreaking, heartrending...

the problem with hello...

the problem with hello is goodbye...

it's a song i wrote ... hehehe..

crazy night

2006-09-16T22:41:00.000+08:00

just got back from dinner with duqs, his family, and mia and aya. Oh God, what a day.First was the major fight i had with...nevermind.Then the freaking heat wave and the dripping sweat [yuck]And then my physics lab.It's crazy crazy crazy i tell you.And then we went to duqs condo. [nice nice place]I saw his collection of books and Archie comics [duqs i want your comics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]i saw his cute cute cute sis simone!!!!!!! :) yeah! My favorite kid is actually jobim.nice kid :Danyway, so we ate tahong, chicken, bread with mushroom, then some plate which i didn't taste, and then came the carbonara.God how i wanted the carbonara. But it was on the other side of the table where the adults sat and of course, being the shy kid that i was, i just unloaded my misery to mia. hehe..fortunately, duqs' lola handed the plate over and i finally indulged in the yummy plate. YUM YUM YUM. i swear.Then came the birthday song...Oh God i felt like there was a gigolo/stripper at my back. A waiter did a little dirty dancing. It was so freaking hilarious. hahaha!!! It's the first time i saw a waiter dance like that in front of the guests. Oh God. I won't get into any more details on that. Basta, it really was funny. :Dand then duqs treated me to starbucks and we saw BJ!!! So there. :)What a day.
*sipping java chip*
Thanks duqs... :)happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
aya..happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

**
apparently my post in my multiply site got a lot of page views...hmmm... i'm getting weirded out. there's this one ... person who views everything i post. That's freaky. especially ka-batch niya sila... anyway!!!

aun lang.
i miss you.

thank God i found YOU

2006-09-16T00:07:00.000+08:00

I want someone who will understand me.

I want someone who will drop what he’s doing and just come to my aid.

I want someone who will fetch me at 7:30 pm and drive me home through the freaking traffic calmly.

I want someone who will drive by my school just to say hi or just to see me.

I want someone who knows that I can probably take care of myself but will still defend me against all the “baddies” of the world.

I want someone who will hold me as we cross the street just to keep me safe.

I want someone who will offer me his arm.

I want someone who knows I can be really tough and I can whip his butt but will still make me feel like I’m the most precious and the most fragile thing in the world.

I want someone who will stay awake until 4 am just chatting with me.

I want someone who will take the time to get to know me, my fears, my pet peeves.

I want someone who won’t think I’m a sissy if I cry during an Adam Sandler movie or during a cartoon.

I want someone who will text me every time my favorite cartoon is showing just to remind me to indulge in my favorite toon.

I want someone who will write to me everyday even though his handwriting is like chicken scratch.

I want someone who will spray my perfume on his person just to smell me through out the day.

I want someone who will buy me flowers on no occasions…and on occasions.

I want someone who thinks that a joint-contribution to UNICEF is a nice way to spend Christmas.

I want someone who will hold my shoulder bag over his arm and not caring what he looks like.

I want someone who watches me eat all the ice cream and chocolate I can eat and still call me the sexiest woman he’s ever seen.

I want someone who will consider me the lightest load even when I gained 5 pounds.

I want someone who will consider me his first priority and that being with me anywhere is the best thing in the world.

I want someone who will be game with every thing I want to try.

I want someone who will be brave enough to try bungee jumping and sky diving with me.

I want someone who will hug me during the night as I cry due to my unfounded fears.

I want someone who will wake up in the wee hours of the morning whenever I call and not be cranky.

I want someone who will sleep two hours after I fall asleep just to make sure that he’ll be there if I suddenly wake up and need him.

I want someone who will be possessive but knows when to give me space.

I want someone strong enough for me to lean on and brave enough to let me see him cry.

I want someone who considers that hugs are the next best thing.

I want someone who considers that cuddling is better than sex.

I want someone who does everything while thinking of me.

i love you... :)

2006-09-12T20:05:00.001+08:00

i think about you. i read about you. and i want to buy and read everything i could get my hands on if only to know more about you.

i want to see you; to meet you; to know you.

i am hungry for more knowledge about you.

your incredible mind attracts me like a moth is attracted to a flame.

and i yearn to meet you. and to talk to you.

if only you exist not only as a figment of someone's imagination...

if only i could meet you. if only i could go on knowing you do exist.

i love your sarcasm. your wit. your dry humor.

the paleness of your skin and the darkness of your hair.

still i know that your existence would be dangerous.

not just for me..but for everyone else.

but still i yearn, still i want you.

My God, arty. if only you exist.

hay

2006-08-28T20:20:00.000+08:00

wla lang.its been soooo long since i last blogged. like last july12 pa.

i thought the issue's over, bakit meron na naman?

i guess i've been busy. just too tired everyday.

okay, i've been unfair. i've just been updating my other blog.

i guess i have to change this url na. people keeps on tagging me crazy stuff. it drives me insane.

@carla: how do you know my name?

whoooboy.

some pics from my phone..

2006-07-13T11:26:00.000+08:00

no. you can't grab them :) hehe..wlang class today..
finally, these pics are from my phone..di pa to lahat..eto lang nisend ko kay nards..hehe :) some pics are better left unposted. yup yup :) aun lang..

im searching for the perfect love song..i can't seem to create one..and i can't seem to find THE one.. hay.

okay..,here are the pics..

this is for you .. :)

me, during one of my phototaking bouts

my screensaver.one of my favorite pics :)

me..me..me..

a painting? guess again.. :)

basta it's a wooden thing. hehe ...

another favorite pic.. :)

i wished you were there.. :(

first time ko magmake-up.. hihih.. :)

nards [my sister bear] and i :)

okay..these are my happy pics .. :)

the happiest pic. :)

my cute popo :)

my favorite star :)

pretty kids sa big apple..

happy together :)

at starbucks :)

another cute pic :)

aun lang.. :) hihi..i love these pics. :)

stars are blind.

2006-07-03T20:23:00.000+08:00

Stars are Blind

(Paris Hilton)

I don't mind spending some time

Just hanging here with you

Cuz I don't find too many guys

That treat me like you do

Those other guys all wanna take me for a ride

But when I walk their talk is suicide

Some people never get beyond their stupid pride

But you can see the real me inside

And I'm satisfied, oh no, ohh

Even though the gods are crazy

Even though the stars are blind

If you show me real love baby

I'll show you mine

I can make you nice and naughty

Be the devil and angel too

Got a heart and soul and body

Let's see what this love can do

Baby i'm perfect for you

My love, ohh oh

I could be your confidante

Just one of your girlfriends

But I know that love's what you want

If tomorrow the world ends

Why shouldn't we be with the one we really love?

Now tell me who have you been dreaming of

At night at home? oh no, ohh

Even though the gods are crazy

Even though the stars are blind

If you show me real love baby

I'll show you mine

I can make you nice and naughty

Be the devil and angel too

Got a heart and soul and body

Let's see what this love can do

Baby i'm perfect for you

Excuse me for feeling

This moment is critical

Might be me feeling

It could get physical, oh no, no no

Even though the gods are crazy

Even though the stars are blind

If you show me real love baby

I'll show you mine

I can make you nice and naughty

Be the devil and angel too

Got a heart and soul and body

Let's see what this love can do

Baby I'm perfect for you
Baby I'm perfect for you
Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind...

so shoot me.

my reply

2006-07-02T13:41:00.000+08:00

What could i not have?
For mine is an unrequited love
And yours is a bark with a target
Aiming straight for someone else's heart

What could i not have?
All is empty,
bleak,
Lifeless.

You could not fathom
You could not resist
You could not crawly away from your dreaming
That she is but yours and yours to have.

The canvass you sweetly gaze at
Is the very reason of my despair
the sole silhoutte that tears my world apart.

For mine is an unrequited love,
And yours is a bark so directed.

So now i stand before you in the shadows,
Consciously in a trance,
Whispering your name,
With every heartbeat i can feel.
My words reveal me.

We are lost.
I could not fathom.
I could not resist.
I could not crawl away from my dreaming.
That you are mine and mine to have.

Still we are lost.

You are hunted by something i do not know,
By something etched in your very soul.
As long as you gaze off to someone else,
It will remain unanswered.

For there can be no such reply
To an unrequited love
Offered to someone for years - ignored.
Like a bark so drifted.
--------------------------------------------
This is in reply to the amazing poem my OL boyfriend made. It's so wonderful, i was left speechless.. Kudos hunri. :)

Persuasion and whatnots

2006-06-30T20:46:00.000+08:00

i decided to post something about persuasion and other books.

1. PERSUASION (Jane Austen)
- - one of the best books i've ever read. Actually i've forgotten what it's about but i can still remember how i felt about the story. i felt so happy that i read it. Though it is a classic, it is so good. I actually liked it more than Pride and Prejudice. Too bad. i don't have a copy. It's my favorite story. Awww...ang ganda kaya. laln :)

2. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (Jane Austen)
- - Next best book. About love, prejudice, pride. between two people perfect for each other. I just recommend it for those people who are looking for a good, easy read.. :)

3. SABRIEL, LIRAEL, ABHORSEN (Garth Nix)
- - This trilogy is so amazing. I mean, after Harry Potter, i was really amazed to read more books about magic. I mean, i already know about Wicca (ehem) but this abhorsen thing is different. It is totally different. Not your usual kind of magic. Yeah, it's good vs. evil but still...different. There's a love story if that's your type but...it doesn't really focus on that. Or maybe it's because of girl power. Aha :)

4. HARRY POTTER (J.K Rowling)
- - Okay, i love these series. Magical. Superb writing. What can i say? She's english.

5. THIEF LORD (Forgot the author eh...)
- - Capture my heart, why don't you. It's about a kid who pretended to be a great thief. Only to be revealed as a rich kid much ignored by his dad. A modern-day Robin Hood story. Really touching. I love this book ... :D

6. COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO (Alexandre Dumas)
- - SPEECHLESS. About love, hate, passion, life. Learning. I'm actually inspired by his mind. He is fascinating. One of the greatest characters ever written in my life.

7. GONE WITH THE WIND (Margaret Mitchell)
- - One of the "mature" books i never had any regrets. Really inspiring. I associate myself with Scarlett of course. And syempre, i'm still looking for my "Rhett Butler." That hunk, hottie guy. Hard-to-get and yet totally crazy over me. He's a dream. Haha!!!

_____________________
i watch Majika. GASP! i can't resist Dennis Trillo. He's a cutie :) besides. i'm a wuss for love stories and their love story is cute.. haha!

so there.i just wanted to post it.

WiShLiSt

1. Persuasion

2. Lirael

3. Abhorsen

4. --heart necklace--

5. nothing much.....................

...

2006-06-30T20:30:00.000+08:00

finally, titigil na siya...
i'm sorry but men in white suits are hot.

grabe!!ang hirap maghanap ng biography ni rogelio sikat!!

we had a test.i just can't get enough of it. fine, it's just 34/50 but still..diba. malaki na rin un.
considering not everyone passed. whoah.

i'm busy. i have a lot to do. sana magkita na kami.. aun lang :) sige. ingat :)

?!

2006-06-28T19:13:00.000+08:00

<_=c_>: khan nman, halata ng gusto ka niya. she even praised you.. let's ask her. haeja, do you like khan noon o ngayon?
<_=c_>: or even both before & today? umamin ka na kasi. malay mo siya na talaga.. hndi ka dpat nhhya kung tlgang gusto mo siya
<_=c_>: sabi mo nga na talgang okay siya edi sbhin mo n ang totoo. khan likes haeja. yan ang totoo..
<_=c_>: isa siyang perpectong babae pra hindi pansinin.. kya magsabi ka na before its 2 late.. siguradong hindi lng ikw ang may gusto kay haeja kya bgo pa siya mkuha ng iba, umamin ka na
<>: ...you do NOT get it, do you? Haeja may be nice, but she's NOT the girl I want, to the best of my knowledge. Even if she likes me. The world doesn't work like that.
<>: She's a friend, and that's all we are. Why are you so intent on pairing us up? I think I have the right to choose who that special person will be, hank you very much.
<>: that isn't the sort of thing i take lightly. Now please. Shut up about it before you hurt yourself. Besides, I believe you have better things to do with your time.
<>: so does Haeja.
<>: so do I. Now leave it alone. My life decisions are none of your business. So hank you, and scat
<:(>: since you're so good in assuming, i'll let you in on a secret.i'm pretty good with assumptions myself. i'll assume that you are one pesky gay so freakin' inlove with khani.and you just want the attention. right? ..khani.flatter yourself much?...
<:(>: sorry.feeling waaay angsty. :/ anyway. nu-uh, don't like him.before.now.or whenever.me like someone else.khani likes...her.okay? so just quit it.

whuwaw. i'm speechless.if i wasn't pissed, i'll laugh my head off.

i'm tired. i'm ewan.i need more sleep.

speechless.more messages from his freaky highness

2006-06-26T12:42:00.000+08:00

i am waaay surprised.

new tags from whoever he/she is!!!

<:?>: oh wow.im so sorry.i didn't know this was happening.im so sorry khankhan..whoah.i have no idea who he/she is..im really sorry he/she's bothering you.oh wow.ayaw akong tantanan ng mundo.im really sorry.so sorry.
<:?>: besides..if you're so intent on bothering people..why not just bother me? grabe naman.you don't have to bother him you know? hmmmmmm............
<_=c_>: see. she likes you. she's protecting you.. wag ka ng mgdeny.. nanjan na siya. gusto ka niya kya dpat sbhin mo na rin yung totoo na gusto mo rin siya. kw rin. baka magsisi ka
<_=c_>: nanjan na ang bgong pwdeng mgpasaya sa iyo.. bka mkuha pa yan, oh. habang nanjan siya kumilos ka na.. wag kang magkunwari, gusto ka niya,khan.. pansinin mo yun

!!!
grabe!! di ko magets!!!!

2006-06-25T12:29:00.000+08:00

okay i'll just post it since i don't like repeating everything.

<=c>: atska db, sbi mo kya ka nga mdlas ngeenjoy pumunta sa sport mo dahil nandun siya. db pareho din kyong ngaarnis
<=c>: wag ka ng magdeny pa. gusto mo nga tlga si haeja. kya mo nga siya laging hinihintay mg-OL diba
<=c>: so now, sbhin mo ang totoo..gusto talaga si haeja diba?
<=c>: malay mo, gusto krin niya kya sbhin mo na ang totoo bgo pa siya mkuha ng iba
: she's nice, but sorry, I don't like her in that way. Is it so wrong to just appreciate someone of the opposite sex as just 'friends' now?
: We're friends, that's it. d( '_' ) I'll admit she's cute, but we'll leave it at that. : You're weird, whoever you are.
: besides, as I keep repeating, I'm not exactly prime kareshi material. d( '_' ) If she ends up with another guy, she's well off. Anyone's better than me. Really.

i have no idea who he/she is. THERE. i don't even know what prime kareshi material is. i'll ask aya.
yes..my jaw dropped in surprise. real surprise. as in. and i have no 'friggin idea.

AYA..i congratulate you :) :) :) whoohooo!!! meg! whoah!!! :) love you dear :)

sige aun lang..

sana matuloy na pagkikita namin...hmmm..miss YOU.

weird stuff

2006-06-10T22:41:00.000+08:00

so now my freakiness with ---- is over..no one's messing with him anymore..and noone's messing me and mine but yours truly only...

so there.i really had a freak-ass time last thursday...but it's a looong story so no, i'd rather not tell...

i'll narrate the events of today..

so i went to quad [g4 to those who don't know it] with my sis and met up with ----. we [my sis and i] ate at McDo and their service was really bagal and then ----'s mum and sibs arrived there! i was the one who saw them and we both kind of freaked out. haha :) it was really funny. hehe :)

anyway,,right after that, we went to timezone and played basketball and other KIDDY stuffs. like punching those pop-up thingies..and more and more basketball..and of course, the immortal air hockey. hihi :)

and my last game was a driving game. it was really funny coz i kept bumping on the sides until they taught me how to control it and just when i was getting the hang of it, GAME OVER. right. but it was okay coz it was quarter to three by then and our movie starts at 3pm..when we got there, the cinema was almost full but we still got good seats on the side..we watched TAKE THE LEAD.

i must stay, Antonio Banderas is old but still undeniably HOT. and my..shall we say..fascination for ballroom increased by a couple of points..whew. it's just so..POWERFUL. SEXY.

ho-hum..and then we had a fight.as usual. and i got really nasty. and i slapped her for the first time. BAD BAD BAD ME. im really repenting it. REALLY.

i love you so much...that's why i ran after you..can't bear to lose you, you know?...hmmmm........sorry. i'll try my best to have more control next time.... i just got really irked..and my time of the month is just like around the next corner...

ILOVEYOU...

ichliebedisch il bambino.

make my blood run cold

2006-06-06T10:14:00.000+08:00

hm...some things na nangyayari lately is making my blood run cold.

it brings back terrible memories..things i'd rather forget. i left all that. that's why i went to uap. the privacy.

and now, it's all...R**-like. as in. it feels like hell.
and i know that at THIS moment, the fear is creeping into my eyes.
it's etched there. the fear. the one thing i have not let show in my eyes for such a long time.

and now, once more, i have to avert my eyes. or close them. it freaks me out.

first, he became our friend sa acct nmin ni hachie. and then someone messaged him. and i so assume it is not chie. and i SO know it is not me. someone freak-ass hacked the account and freaking messaged him. i have this great gut feeling na siya un. pero hindi. i mean, ano'ng reason?

she's using our account to flirt with him! OMG! and i don't mean chie! i mean seriously, i really think someone hacked into the account. so i changed the password. maalala ko sana. hay nako. mejo matagal na rin ako bago magpost ng mga stuff.
ewan.

i..okay "WE" bought a new sun sim for me. freak ass sun shop. sana nareceive nila message ko about my new number. ewan. i haven't eaten yet. i just got really bothered by that freak hacker. maybe i should just tell him na someone's fooling us both. kasi naman. My God. only 4 people know about him. okay 5. and seriously, why would they? and only ONE person calls him by that name. But i should really talk to her muna before i do hate her to an absolute degree. okay, scratch that. i'll erase that part.

why oh why is this happening to me?

again.

ssdd---

same shit different day.

LOL.

my life's a cycle.

***
and then i saw her [ex's] friendster. surprise. wasn't expecting to see it so soon. so there, she did erase me from her friend's list. which is. i guess a good thing.

letting go is such a good thing. and i don't regret one moment that i let you go...really. it was EASIER, actually, to let you go. and to not see you. and well..the hell i had with you, at least, went to a minimum level. at least, only your kabarkada still made those horrible parinig. and i just found out that she loved you daw. oh for crying out loud. kung yun lang pala. ay naku naman.... well. [about exie]

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.

i think my wishing for her to feel the way i felt is getting to me. maybe i should just stop wishing for it.

argh.

and now. i'm losing it. i am so losing it. i will once again bow my head to hide the fear.the pain.the shame.

it's humiliating. My God. My God. why is this happening? Damn....................

i don't even know what to do with him...

FAYERZ MY LOVE.. thanks dear :) hehe..i know you'd understand. dito ka lang ah. kung hindi, di na kita love. hehehe :) mwuah.

damn it!!!!

2006-06-04T19:14:00.000+08:00

oh God. this freaks me out. Lech!!! bakit ganun?!

sobrang argh!!!

i'm really starting to think na si...damn it. hay! hay! hay!

i lost my earrings.
my kitty.
my smart sim.
and now my sun sim's f*cked up!

***
saw the vetus family kanina. wla lang.
***
grabe tlga. this is so embarrassing. i want to say i'm sorry but i can't. coz i'm not suppossed to read it. God i'm so messed up. i feel soooo messed up.

argh!

2006-05-28T19:34:00.000+08:00

my cat died.
i lost my Angel earrings i've been wearing for the past 6 years.

what next?

=s

just got back from my hiatus.

okay, two weeks ago..last may17, a friend came over..then that weekend, i went to laguna with my family and other relatives..overnight swimming..

then the next wednesday, i got sick.

last night, i went ballroom dancing with 6 men. 3 dance instructors..my dad, a relative, and my mum's friend. We danced...from 9am-230 am. which is a long time to dance on HEELS. thank goodness i had the sense to wear wedges and not stilletos. i danced..rhumba.cha-cha.swing.tango.waltz.boogie. if i forgot something, i don't know what it is na..aun lang :)

ho-hum.

no more losses for tomorrow.

please! =(

lovelovelove

2006-05-16T20:01:00.000+08:00

It's funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love while at the back of our minds we know that the person we trully love will always be an exception - ally mcbeal

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place,suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace,suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste,it all revolves around you.-- Moulin Rouge

You make me want to be a better man-- As Aood As It Gets

In these dreams I've loved you so, that by now I think I know what it's like to be loved by you. I will love being loved by you.-- The King and I

Sometime you'll kiss someone and know that's the person you're supposed to kissfor the rest of your life.---NEVER BEEN KISSED

The only wrong thing would be to deny what your heart truly feels.---THE MASK OF ZORRO

You will see a lot of things,But they will mean nothing to you If you lose sight of the one you love.---AT FIRST SIGHT

If you love someone you say it...YOU SAY IT RIGHT OUT LOUD....or the moment just...passes you by.---MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING

I would rather have had One breath of her hair,One kiss from her mouth,One touch of her hand,Than an eternity without it...---CITY OF ANGELS [ OMG c'= ]

When you've found that person you want to spend the rest of ur life with, you want the rest of ur life to begin right away."---When Harry Met Sally

"if two people are meant for each other, itdoesnt mean that they are meant for each other NOW." ---pacey whitter "DAWSON'S CREEK"

I know it's a cornball thing, but love is passion,obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels. Find someone you love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart... Take the risk, if you get hurt,you'll come back. Because the truth is, there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love -- well,you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived... Stay open. Who knows? Lightning could strike.---MEET JOE BLACK

Man: "Will you love me for the rest of my life?"Woman: "I will love you for the rest of mine."---PHENOMENON

I guarantee it won't be easy. I guarantee that at one point One or both of us is going to want to leave.But I also guarantee that If I don't ask you to be mine, I am going to regret it For the rest of my lifeBecause I know in my heart You are the only one for me.---RUNAWAY BRIDE

"The only feeling of real loss is when you love someone, more than you love yourself."---GOOD WILL HUNTING

You cannot find true love where it does not truly exist. And you cannot hide it where it truly does.---KISSING A FOOL

I created my very own first breakup rule:

1. Destroy all pictures where he looks sexy and youlook happy.

Breakup rule No. 2: Untilemotionally stabilized, enter no stores.

Breakuprule No. 3: Never stop thinking about him, evenfor a moment. because that's the moment he'llappear.

And finally, the most important breakuprule: No matter who broke your heart or how longit takes to heal, you'll never get through itwithout your friends.---Carrie, from the sitcom SEX AND THE CITY

" i miss you so much it hurts"---SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE

"Half my days i cannot bear not to touch you,the rest of the time i feel it doesn't matter if i ever see you again. It isn't the mortality,it is how much you can bear....."---THE ENGLISH PATIENT

Do you believe in love? I bet you don't, you're probably too sensible for that. Have you ever seen someone and you know that if only that person really know you, they'd dump the perfect model they were with and realize that you are the one they want to grow old with? Have you ever fallen inlove with someone you've never talked to? Haveyou ever been so alone you spent the night confusing a guy in a coma?---WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

"i'm here to love you, to hold you in my arms and to protect you. i'm here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. i'm here coz there's no other place to be."---MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

"When you kiss someone, everything around you becomes hazy... and the only thing in focus is you and this person... And you realize that this person is the only person you should be kissing for the rest of your life... And for one moment,you get, this amazing gift... And you wanna laugh and you wanna cry... Cuz you feel so luckythat you've found it and so scared that it'll goaway all at the same time..."---NEVER BEEN KISSED

if two people love each other, but just cant seem to put things together, when would that point be.. when one would say enough is enough?NEVER.---THE MEXICAN

"There are some people who meet that somebody that they cannever stop loving, no matter how hard they try.I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever."--- Ally Mc Beal

********************************************************************

i never knew guys could cry.

i never knew guys get heartbroken over girls too.

i never knew they would also have a hard time letting go and moving on.but lately, i'm proved wrong again and again by the two people i never expected to hear those words from.

funny.that every solid thing you thought you knew seems to dwindle to nothing but...mistakes. ha. lalang.
so i ..."borrowed" this from my friend's blog. it just seems really nice quotes... God i'm in love.

happy 16 baby...

i don't know what i've done to deserve you, to deserve this happiness. God i love you.

2006-05-14T17:35:00.000+08:00

its raining.

God i love the rain.

][ dance in the rain naked and LIVE. ][

rejection

2006-05-11T10:40:00.000+08:00

okay so i did send it. there were no mailerdemon so that means it was successfully sent, i had the correct message, i put all the details. so that means it's either rejected or they haven't read it yet. Oh God i do wish they will accept it. and that i'll be notified. Newspapers are expensive and i just can't buy one everyday... :( sigh.

im a bitch. im controlling. i dominate over people i find pathetic, over people who cannot reject me. thus i look up to people who do not give me all their attention because it poses a challenge. hamper my temper Oh God.

hay...aun lang.

2006-05-10T00:38:00.000+08:00

A survey.and survey.and survey.

1.)First thing you do in the morning
-- check my phones and look at the time.

2.) Favorite game when you were highschool
-- hm...i don't know? ooh..thum-wrestling.

3.) Person you always wanna text
-- no one, really.

4.) Things you wanna change in your past
-- hm..ewan.nothing much..

5.) Would you like to travel in your past?
-- yes...!

6.) Wat'ya looking for in a guy/girl (friend)?
-- sweet.nice.ayaw ko ng clingy...

7.) What dessert do you love most?
-- chocolate ice cream :)

8.) You're turned off if?
-- too arrogant or cocky

10.) Have you ever been in a relationship?
-- uh-huh.

11.) First BF/GF?
-- hmmmm...

12.) You wanna read the book______ right now?
-- memoirs of a geisha.

13.) Where do you wanna go?
-- coron, palawan. i miss that place :( it's so beautiful there..!

14.) Do you like textin?
-- okay lang..i can live without it..basta pwede tumawag :)

15.) Do you like chattin?
-- okay lang..parang texting din..

16.) Honor student?
-- hindi nga umaabot eh :(

17.) highest grade?
-- hs?...97 i think. college..uno! :)

18.) Are you good looking?
-- hindi...ka...nagkakamali. yuck ang vain...!!

19.) Are you thinking of your special someone right now?
-- not really. mejo worried lang.

20.) Silent type or not?
-- half-half.

21.) Funny or serious?
-- half-half.knows when to be funny and knows when to be serious.

22.) If someone tells you "I Love you" what would you say?
-- depende kung sino syempre...

23.) If someone kicks you what would you do?
-- turn around and slap the hell out of that ass.

24.) Are you passionate?
-- on most things, yes. :)

25.) Do you like surprises?
-- hm...half-half. if it's the kind of surprise that will wreck you..no thanks!

26.) If you like him/her you will____
-- get to know the person of course..

27.) Do you cry over boys/girls?
-- ehem.

28.) Are you inlove?
-- next question?...i don't really know.

29.) Do you wanna die? Why?
-- now? hindi naman...wag muna.i feel okay pa naman.

30.) What bores you?
-- boring stuff ;)

31.) Special moment with a guy/girl?
-- hm?...wla pa eh.siguro if i go out on a candlelit dinner, un ang special

32.) Last person you talked to (CP)?
-- hmm..chie ata.

33.) Last person you gave your sweetest smile? Why?
-- sweetest smile? wla!!

35.) Cakes or ice cream?
-- both!! yummy!

***********************************************************************************************

1. nahahalata mo ba pag may gusto sayo isang tao?
? hindi.meron bang nagkagusto? hmm..

2. ok naman lovelife mo ngayon?
? what lovelife? what "okay"?!

3. naranasan mo na bang tumakas sa bahay para lang makita mahal mo?
? uh..no?

4. uso pa ba diga ngayon? alam mo na, ung nanliligaw?
? skn oo. i think it's part tlga in a relationship eh!

5. nung natulog ka kagabi, anong huli mong inisip?
? God i'm sleepy.

6. napanood mo ba american idol kagabi?
? nuh-uh. i don't watch that.

7. naniniwala ka bang bading naman talaga si uma?
? aba ewan.if he is, no problemo.

8. anong mas ok? mafall sa bagong tao o bumalik sa pinakamamahal mong ex?
? mafall sa bago noh..ano'ng bumalik? past is past!

9. halata ka ba pag inlove ka na?
? i think so? oo..hehe :)

10. nagmamatter ba pera sa isang relationship?
? not really. not right now.siguro in the future, you have to have stability kasi eh.

12. alam mo ba na yung magtetext syo sa loob ng isang oras e ang taong talagang magpapasaya ha?
? really now..hmmm..

13. kaya mo bang paglaban sa parents mo yung gusto mo?
? okay ka lang?!

14. kung hawak mo lang ang future mo, anong gagawin mo?
? study at oxford, graduate summa cum laude, be the top businesswoman five years after i graduate, earn 5million pounds a year, go back to the Philippines and serve the people. Have my own house.

15. pag nawala ba ang trust sa relationship, pro mahal mo pa sya ng malupit, worth it ba syang ibalik?
? ewan.im trying but i just can't seem to be happy lately.

16. san ang gimik mo mamaya/ bukas?
? sa harap ng tv ng magulang ko!

17. anong part ng lechon gusto mo?
? ew wla.i don't eat that.

18. kelan ka huling nakipag-make love?
? hmmm..never?!

19. mahal mo ba sya?
? siya?

20. bat di pa maging kyo?
? ay ewan.

21. pro gusto mong maging kyo?
? ha?!

22. mas sweet ba ang tao pag nakainom?
? ah...ewan. mas maniac ata?!

23. may nagawa ka na ba nung lasing ka na ni-regret mo the next day?
? i've never been drunk..!

24. anong ayaw mo sa mundo?
? war.crimes.

25. anong masasabi mo sa pinag-copy paste- an mo nito?
? you have great surveys mcanjelly.

*************************************************************************************************************

1. Sino LOVE mo?
-- syempre ikaw lang!! :)

2. Sino MISS mo?
-- syempre ikaw lang!! :)

3. Sino HATE mo?
-- aba.syempre ikaw pa rin :)

4. Sino Crush mo?
-- ikaw pa rin :)

5. Brand ng Shirt mo?
-- guitar.ahehe.

6. Brand ng Watch mo?
-- ewan ko..

7. Brand ng Footwear mo, Slippers and Shoes?
-- usually..rl..

8. Brand ng phone mo?
-- nokia..and sony ericsson.

9. Brand ng Shorts mo?
-- ah..i made it. well my mum made it.

10. Waistline mo?
-- i don't wanna know!!

11. height mo?
-- too vertically challenged. don't ask.

12. hatest Person in the world?
-- ikaw nga..hehe :)

13. School mo?
-- uap :) in ortigas.

14. Squatter daw school mo?
-- really? no one will ever dare say that.

15. tuition fee ng School mo?
-- secreto ko na un!

16. Sexual orientation?
-- whazzat?!

17. Favorite hot-spot?
-- coron tlga.

18. Favorite TV Channel?
-- hmm...disney? hehe :) studio 23? hbo?

19. Naiintindihan mo ba pinagsasasagot mo dito?
-- slight...

20. Any Favorite one-liner?
-- freak!

21. Favorite Actor?
-- none really.george clooney? richard gere?

22. Pangit naman un eh. agree?
-- sino? they're hot kaya.for oldies.

23. Favorite Actress?
-- smg :)

24. Pok-pok daw siya dati?
-- ay hindi kaya!

25. Kanino mo nakuha survey na to?
-- sa bulletin ko..

26. Friend mo ba siya?
-- hm..sa friendslist ko sya eh..

27. Close kayo?
-- nope.i don't even know her personally! :) she just posts great surveys.

28. hindi naman daw eh?
-- ano?!

29. Ows?
-- okay...

30. Anu masasabi mo sa kanya?
-- rich kid!?

31. Crush mo?
-- sino?!

32. Maganda/gwapo ba siya?
-- i think.based sa pic niya, she looks pretty.

33. Sinungaling ka eh?
-- kapal!

35. Any family business?
-- what?

36. Any Business?
-- hm?!

37. Easy to fall in love?
-- with someone else? pwede ba.

38. Masaya ka ba?
-- now?....UH...

39. Any wishes?
-- sigh.

40. gago ka ba?
-- yes.grabe oo.

I did it. I finally did it. I really hope it will be accepted. I waited one whole year to write a really good piece. I won't reveal yet what i did because i'm afraid na baka mareject yun. Basta i'm happy that i tried. if it gets rejected, i'll try and try again until i write something passable enough for them to accept it. It's almost 12:30 and my sis is still on the phone. I'm getting quite sleepy na to stay OL ng mtagal..hmmm..un lang..

2006-05-09T00:08:00.000+08:00

Well..after chatting with him for around 4 hours, i think i'm finally becoming unintrigued. Which is kind of a good thing because o16 cried again.

I'm getting the hang of making poop cry. Shit i'm mad. I think i just need to calm down. I'm really wound up. Eh kasi naman. Sigh. I like tried to part

ways...three or more times already...in two days. I'm crazy. I'm mad. I'm insane. I don't like him that much anymore. Now that the puzzle is finally

over. Yeah, he's really sweet and all to everyone but that's just it. I'm over. But i don't wanna tell o7 yet coz...baka bumalik. so pag talagang wala

na...tska ko na sasabihin na wala na talaga...diba? yes, smart-me :) Shit ahs.

*o7_iLoveYou_o16*

wala lang.

"It's hard to love someone who can never be yours. Time would give you chances to talk...chances to be together...chances to share... See how it

hurts? You only have chances...JUST CHANCES."

gusto ko lang ishare...it's from my friend. I feel out of loop. Haven't really talked to anyone else. Okay, i'll just share quotes and what-nots.

"To fly, you have to have resistance" - Mya Lin

"Love is not the absence of hurt, not the state of perfect happiness, not with the feeling of security. Love is surpassing all by being with that someone and knowing that she’s worth it."

"There are tulips in the garden, there are tulips in the park but nothing is more beautiful than are two lips meeting in the dark..." :)

"I tried to take the pain away by finding someone new...But then i came to realize, no one compares to you. And even if i look around pretending not to cry, i'll always go back to the day you finally said goodbye." :(

Yan na lang muna... Sige...wala kaya ko masabi...ay share ko muna 'tong song.

FIX YOU - coldplay
When you try your best but you don't succeed.

When you get what you want but not what you need

when you feel so tired but you can't sleep, stuck in reverse...

and the tears come streaming down your face...

when you lose something you can't replace...

when you love someone but it goes to waste...could it be worse?

lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones....

and i will try to fix you...

and high up above, or down below...

when you're too inlove to let it go...

but if you never try, you'll never know just what you're worth...

tears stream down on your face,

when you lose something you could not replace...

tears stream down on your face and i...

tears stream down on your face,

upon the street where you learn from your mistakes...

tears stream down on your face and i...

lights will guide you home

and ignite your bones...

and i will try...

to fix you...

God i love this song. Really love this song. It just takes my breath away. In fact...this reduced me to tears when i listened to it again and again in

Sarah's ipod...last August. guess where i was then? At the guidance office. No, i was not there coz of some rap... It was...i don't know, about a

psychological test we took at the start of the sem...Nobody was there anyway so it was kind of okay lang...

Do you watch America's next top model? Grabe. Keenyah and Kahlen are really beautiful. And brittany of course, is ubersexy. Rebecca looks

like reese witherspoon which makes me hate her coz reese is pretty, therefore giving her somewhat of an edge? But not really. Keenyah tlga. Grabe.

Aun lang. see, i told you i won't watch pbbt anymore... Just seeing Nina's face flirting with bam makes me want to vomit. Kaya i didn't watch it talaga.

Grabe. Another sandara park-like na naman ba to? Wala lang.

I love to rant.really. Shucks i am so tired. I hand-scrubbed our floors [of course it's dirty na coz when my family entered, their shoes were dusty. So

much for the cleaning part.]. Anyway. I hand-scrubbed our floors Cinderella-type. Okay i have to go now. My dad's telling me to go to sleep. Argh. I

don't know what happened but i'm waaay irritated. Really. I'll OL tomorrow. sheesh.

new entry and whatnots

2006-05-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

we had a pretty long conversation. In fact, i saved it. And now, rereading it makes me want to cry coz i feel so stupid that i have let my defenses
down. He said i'm responsive and i bit my tongue. i didn't want to ask what he meant by that. And i know that the time we spent was not anything
special coz he was always like that with people. He said the main reason he tickles me is because im responsive. yes, i tickle him back or i slap him
really hard when i want to. He hugs me whenever he hurts me physically but im used to hugs. [Sean hugs me too. And david. I hug BJ :D after all,
he's BJ...heheheh :) the guy that we always make fun of because he is nice, but funny, in a weird kind of way.] But it is NOT anything special. As he
said, he's still gung-ho on his girl...And i can't compete with a memory. Memories are, and always will be, hard to replace like hell.

OMG i almost died when he said..."looks like someone has a crush on someone. xDF"...Thank God i only answered with "Bakit?"

I am so dead if he ever gets to read this. Really crappy dead. And his parting words are: See you on Wednesday and then he logged out quickly.
Wednesday? Training day. i never expected him to go to my school again after the tournament. I mean, after all, why?! Siguro, he just really wants to
go out of the house.

He asked if i want a kiriban [a free art thing whatev] and i said yes...pink stars, white moon, and black background. He draws/sketches, whatever. I
paint. Well, not really. I mean, i am not good. I paint what i feel and what i feel comes out nice on paper. Ahaha :) i don't know how to draw one of
my dream drawings. A crooked hand set in black paint. With blood all around...covering half of the face of the girl. Bloody? Not really. Dark? I guess
so. Yun nararamdaman ko before [Feb]...

God i love to blog.

And then we talked about other stuff na padaan lang...Nothing substantial, really. And i think i went crimson when he corrected me. hehe... well ganun
talaga siya. Now i don't know why the hell i'm blogging about him for days... Shit, im crazy. Im an ass. Im stupid. This is worse than my biggest crush
last year. Oh God i'm stupid.

I pretended i didn't know his blog. his art site. Of course i know it, i found the link on his friendster. But kunwari pa ko na i didn't know it. Syempre i
had to keep things a secret. It's not cool to blow my "calm" cover. Truth be told, i was chatting with sarah and henry at the same time...I was telling
henry all about my feelings and how cold my hands got. And i was chatting with sarah about inane stuff just to distract me. Nah, i miss that girl :D
And then, there i was, going crazy about yming him...And here i am, completely, utterly TAKEN. yes, i'm stupid. i'm insane. But this is really just a
crush so what the hell? i swear, it's just a crush. I hope it's nothing more. And hopefully, soon, something less.

i was watching animal planet again kanina...ang sexy talaga ng cheetah and bears...awww :D laln...i feel happy when i see those animals eh...

naku may ipis daw sa ilalim ng piano and its actually right across me...eeew yuck...!!! Im scared to death of tarantulas...flying balls [really traumatized]...
and cockroaches. EWWW THE GERMS... ='( it can make me cry actually. haha. just thinking of the germs they bring... Shit. makes my hair stand on
end.

I was going to make kwento about something i forgot. hmmm...

Here's a song for you...You know who you are. I'm not trying to make you cry...I just think it's bagay. I'm not making patama or whatever. I think, in
fact, it will help you to come to better terms with your...[put in nicely] liberation [or so i think].

Make it easy

If you really love him, there's nothing i can do...
don't try to spare my feelings, just tell me that we're thru...
and make it easy on yourself, make it easy on yourself,
coz breaking up is so very hard to do...
And if the way i hold you can't compare to his caress,
no words of consolation will make me miss you less
my darling if this is goodbye...
oh i just know i'm gonna cry...
so run to him, before you start crying too...
my darling if this is goodbye, oh i just know i'm gonna cry...
make it easy on yourself...
oh before you start to cry...

*o7_iLoveSeven_o7*

I'm in love with you so much...!!! Kahit sobrang dami kong crush...lamo naman how i really feel ... *blush* hihi :) Maybe you don't know it but whenever
other people call you theirs, i get really jealous. Pst. You're mine. Ha! Mine, mine, all mine. shucks i'm so possessive. And you're not texting.again!!!
=( Hmp! Sige, make me miss you. o8 ngayon!!!

- to the person to whom i dedicated the aforementioned song -SA PANAHON NGAYON. BAWAL MAGKASAKIT. awww... just kidding. DON'T
CRY, OKAY? if you have to...well, let it out. It happens to the best of us ;)

Haaay...i love the boredom talaga. Pag dating ng pasukan, i'll probably be so busy and so tear-eyed sa sobrang puyat. Maybe i'll become so
chinita from lack of sleep. Hehe...There's always a time for everything...Pagdating ng busy days ko, i'll be happy to be busy... and just freaking
wait for my sembreak to come again... I love learning ;) weird noh? it's fascinating, really. Anyway, enough crap about my nerdiness.

If i remember what i'll say, i'll still be here tomorrow to blog about it, you know. Laln. I'm damn bored. Take care :)

past stuff

2006-05-07T13:47:00.002+08:00

These are some of my past poems..nung December pa to ... laln. i decided to share it here na lang. hmmm...

Someday
I will spread my wings and I will learn how to fly…
Someday. It will always be someday.
I will soar and glide over the mountains of my dreams
And pursue them one by one…
Someday. It will always be someday.

In the rain
We used to be together
And now you are gone.
And I am all alone in the rain.

Always in the rain.

804

I bow my head and cry
I reach out and catch the empty air
I let my tears fall and huddle deeper in the corner
With no one to save me
No one to hold me.
No one to love me.
Things will never change.

807

Lumilipad ang hangin sa paligid ko
Tinakluban ang sarili ng kumot at huminga
Nagdasal, naghintay na ang unos ay lumipas
At nalunod sa mga panaginip na walang kaganapan.

Survivor
Hush, do not speak
I am fine, I will be fine.
Let me wallow in the darkness
This is no different from the darkness I have been to before.

See? It welcomes me,
it beckons me to hasten my step
and to go back to the shadows
that I am sure I belong to.
Do not pity me, just ignore me.
I do not need you now just as you do not need me.
All my pride is all I have left,
Just be quiet and let me be.

I will call for you quietly in my sleep, in my heart
And yet I will never let you know,
Even when the pain becomes too much
Even when it kills me again and again.

Once again I will battle my way out
I will struggle and prevail.
Coz I have and always will be,

A survivor.

826

Hindi ko mailabas ang sakit sa kahapong nagdaan
Tulala sa pag-iisip ng sasabihin.
Ngunit ni isang salita ay walang mabanggit
Dahil iyon na lang iyon.
Isang kahapong nagdaan.

if you noticed, i only have one long poem and the rest are just stanzas/phrases...i've been trying to do that for some time now.. so there. how does it sound? well...past feelings ko na yan..trying to get over and whatever..so un lang.

im damn sleepy. as in really sleepy...i chatted till 157 with a friend...grabe tgal..whoooohoo.un lang. sige ingat...

LIZ: hope you'll be okay now. mwuah!

confessions eew

2006-05-07T00:17:00.000+08:00

my confession

okay. so i have taken up to watching pbbt. pathetic, really, i know.i didn't even watch the past ones and then i watched this.must be something with them being teens and all.At first, i watched it just to, you know, satisfy my curiousity.Then... They started talking about love which is just like one of my most favorite topics in the world.So i got itty-bitty hooked.i now know that bambam & nina [argh] are/were bestfriends and then bam falls in love with her.And then nina starts making lambing to fred na and they got really lovey-dovey while bam [i have to admit] acts immaturely enough to even erase my sympathy for him.

hands down, the cutest couples for me are: Matt [my crushie] and Olyn...and of course, Kim and Mikee! [when i first saw Mikee, i thought, oh...this is the guy who's so low profile and then voila! he gets the prettiest girl in the room. Nice! :)]

Anyway...
Nina is now evicted! YEAH!!!
Sorry, for those Nina-lovers, i just really don't like her pa-cute and maarte ways. Really.

Moving on...i'll narrate the history of my pbb-watching.

So the first ones were nene, right? I never watched that. My dad never allowed us to. He said it was not good for us coz it was bastos raw and stuff [but now he's lax na about it]. I only know that Nene won. In fact, the only time i ever saw Nene was on the last episode, you know, when she won? :) hehehe...
And then the next, the pbbc [or pbb celebrity edition] and i never watched that too except for like...one episode, i think, about john pratts and when...it was down to the last four. my MOM watched the eviction night. [funny noh? hehe.]
And then eto na. Even before classes ended, i heard about pbbt na and how people were joking about joining it. [i thought kaypee and rb really were going to join it though. teeheehee.] Then one day, Yan asked me if i watch that coz Chinggay, Rb, and someone else, i forgot, watches it daw. They were supposedly hooked on it. I said no. i don't watch that or the ones before that. i was just not interested before. Tapos i caught my eldest sister watching one episode when i barged in my parents' room. i said "Ew, you watch that?!" Then she said "Ka-age mo lang sila, o." i really got weirded out to tell you the truth. And then sam sends this gms about pbbt, about joaquin [who we both hate now] kasi she's so mad at him. hehe... so finally, one day, i was too bored and then i clicked on studio 23 and there they were. they were having a bath and i was waaay beyond bored. And then evening episode came in ABS and they were talking about love! My God, i really watched it! me, having a crush and all, and i got hooked on that episode. haha! :)

So that's my pathetic story. Although now that Nina is out of the house, i think my interest will lessen. i just really want her to get evicted eh. Haha! But i think i will catch a few episodes or wait for Sam's updates on what's happening in pbbt now that a new girl will come in... Nice,,,i wanna see whether Fred and her will connect. Hehehehe...moving on...

I was watching animal planet kanina [i do so sometimes] and they were talking about a couple of animals' defenses and then they got to talking about their horns and stuff.

FYI: do you know that animals' horns are actually hardened skin? :)

I gotta go now. i can't type anymore...

i hate my stalker with passion.

g'nyt...

wrong identity.

2006-05-05T19:23:00.000+08:00

i had a really...funny [at least for me] afternoon.

So at the start, sobrang boring talaga - as in boredom galore - kanina...Then around 5pm, a snotty girl called me up. At the start, she was laughing [now that i think about it, she must have been crying out of rage.] Eh mejo malabo ung connection [she called sa sun phone ko] and asked me if i know her. Natuwa pa ko coz i thought it was mimi na nangtrtrip. SAbi ko pa "si mia!" hehe! Tapos binaba. And then tumawag ulit. Ibang voice na. Sabi, "Hello, eto gf ng stalker mo. Wag ka magalala, hindi ka niya guguluhin." I called mimi up, asking her kung siya ba ung tumawag. sabi niya hindi daw and i realized na hindi nga, ibang voice eh... So i called up the girl. This was our conversation:

ME: Hello? Sino 'to? [i talked pleasantly, i swear. I mean, i was shocked.]

GF: Bakit, kailangan ko ba sabihin kung sino ko? [super taray voice]

ME: Eh tumawag ka eh...

GF: Pinag-tritripan lang kita!

ME: Sino ka ba? [By this time, i was getting quite confused.]

GF: Sino ka?

ME: Tumawag ka nga eh...

And then she put down the phone! Grabe. So i called mimi again tapos natatawa rin siya [i think]... Tapos i texted Liz, Coop, and Chie. Si Liz, thank
God, calmado.. Si coop and chie, galit na galit, grabe! Haha... They wanted the number and they wanted to fight with the person buti na lang i
persuaded them both not to...Although mejo mahirap coz talgang galit na galit sila...Gusto awayin ni Coop un guy..si chie, ung gf... So i texted the gf:

I don't know you and i certainly don't know who your boyfriend is. I think you have the wrong number.

And then she was surprised coz wrong # nga. So she apologized again and again. Thank God i kept chie and coop from texting her. That would have resulted into a big fight or whatever. lalo na, iba talaga pag girl, murahan diba...Laln.

Grabe i have a nasty head ache. Sigh. Ayaw ko na talaga siya maging crush. I mean, look at what happened, inaway ako kanina. Eh may gf din siya
eh...Loko talaga yang si liz.

LIZ: Hindi si genghis khan favorite ko eh...Si Attila the Hun favorite ko sa mongol conquest eh... ;) Kaw talaga...Porque mahilig ka sa CHInese eh...
tsktsk!

So ayun lang. i just wanted to share that...ayun lang...

Sobrang bored ako kanina...pinuno ko ng gms inbox ng mga friends ko..hehe :) aun lang..sige, sige..gtg..

Sana maayos na ni fayerz blog ko..

Faye, thanks po :) mwuah! mwuah!
Coop, love you. :) that was so sweet... :)
*16* Thanks b.. laln :)

hay..i'm inlove with james blunt's song : Goodbye my Lover... ang ganda ng song eh..laln.

+ Don't give in under the pressure of your own demands +

+ phoenix +

new day, new entry

2006-05-04T01:09:00.000+08:00

bumabalik na naman pagsusuka ko. whenever i feel full, lagi akong muntik sumuka...pero pinipigilan ko talaga...ewan ko...lately, sobrang onti ng
capacity ko for food...as in onti.anyway...

i want.wla lang. ang gusto ko..hinaharana ako. kinakantahan..tinutugtugan ng gitara..sobrang maaatract ako pag ganun. hihi :) lalo na pag malambing
ung boses..o mababa.nakakatuwa lang talaga..kahit anong song..kahit sobrang corny.in fact, mas maaaliw nga ko kung corny kasi..parang kahit corny,
kakantahan ka pa rin..hihi :) ewan ko..inaaliw ko lang sarili ko..

so eto nanaman ako..i talked to jamiel [cui] kanina about hers...and my crush.ang funny nga eh.nagbukingan kami..lalang. un tlga, naaliw ako.i know i
need to talk to someone [as in real conversations and everything] but wala akong makausap..or at least, wala akong mahanap na kausap na you know.
basta un.tapos tlgang naaliw ako sknya.kwentuhan to the max kami until ginamit ng ate ko un fone..sayang, enjoy pa naman ako. laln.

parang msya mga tao ngayon ah? hehe..baliktad ang mundo.si aya ang masya at madaldal ngayon. laln.tapos ang saya ng mga tao.im not jealous or
anything over their happiness.im just...down.and not in any mood to laugh.

*o16* is asking stuff about my crush.i don't wanna discuss it naman. kasi syempre, mssktan lang siya if i talk about him pa diba.. ayaw ko siyang saktan
tapos siya naman magtatanong. wag naman ganun.. hay :( sige, open kung open pero wag ganun..kasi nagtatanong siya ng mga bagay na maaaring
makasakit sknya..dba..haaaay.aun lang..

sobrang blogging ako ngayon. i just really need someone to chat with.to take my mind off my troubles and what nots. i've been reading his profile again
and again. sobrang mysterious nya kasi. intriguing.really.

okay, this might sound a bit strange and vain or whatever but i have a song for myself. haha ... it's the song na gusto kong kantahin niya sa'kin.
NARDA. really.

"ako'y napatingin sa dalagang nababalot ng hiwaga...
mapapansin kaya sa dami ng yong ginagawa... kung kaagaw ko ang lahat may pagasa bang makilala ka
awit na nanawagan baka sakaling napakikingan pag-ibig na palaisipan sa kanta nalang idaraan
nagaabang sa langit sa mga ulap sumisilip sa likod ng mga tala kahit sulyap lang darna
ang swerte nga naman ni ding lagi ka nyang kapiling kung ako sa kanya niligawan na kita
tumalon kaya ako sa bangin para lang iyong sagipin
ito ang tanging paraan para mayakap ka
darating kaya sa dami ng ginagawa kung kaagaw ko sila paano na kaya"

it's a really sweetie song. no im not into kamikazee. un song lang na un. ang sweet kasi eh... ='( sino kaya kakanta niyan sa'kin? i'll wait. aha. joke lang...

okay i'll talk about him here.

i thought he's younger? He's not. okay technically he is coz i'm 8 months older but we're still of the same age. He's really...active [for lack of a better
term] and he loves to make me kulit for some inane reason. Well not just me, pati my friends..pero usually ako. moving on. He is so freaking
mysterious. I thought he was just this "makulit" guy but he's actually not. i actually think that's just a facade [this is such a john lloyd-bea alonzo story.]
coz when i read his blog [yes i actually "stumbled" upon it], he is SO serious. even his profile is serious. and he's sarcastic. smart. and short. hihi :D
this year..so far..twice ko pa lang siya nakikita..nung hatawan [yes, he's sporty] and one practice..where we didn't make "pansin" much. And he is so
full of teen angst. and he loves books. and he's a freaking stickler for english. [OMG i love that in people.] and he's caring [sobra.] and he's a freaking
OL player. and lastly. he's artsy [baka kasi mabasa niya to bigla kaya im saying words my way.hehe]. Basta nakakatuwa talaga siya. We even fought
about hP kasi he said di daw "actor" and i said he's still a cutee. hehe :) it's true naman kasi noh!!! well i guess...considering he's a guy, he'll probably
say that.

but he doesn't like me, okay? His profile says..."It's complicated"...okay, pwede magsinungaling sa friendster. but he's way too damn serious to joke
about that noh...so i guess, may ka m.u siya or whatever...and i saw a "picture"...tapos straight un hair nung girl...na nakaupo somewhere...and it
certainly isn't me. so there's no danger of his liking me back or whatever...and besides...basta.

if .... reads this? iyak yun, sobra. yes, i'll be open about anything but not about him. coz it will only hurt you... and i don't want to hurt you.coz if i hurt
you, i might lose you again. ayaw :'( wag muna. i'm happy with you eh ='(...kahit ilan pa crush ko. hay.

ay ang seryoso ko ba? laln...onga seryoso ko...kasi naman..wla lang..seryoso lang mood ko..

Nag-OL siya tapos biglang nagoffline.i guess ayw niya magchat or whatever. pero hyaan ko na lang...i'll let her be muna... sigh. i'm really sorry. sigh.

*o7o16_0seven0sixteen0_o7o16*

yes i like him. i do. but not that much. he's just intriguing.

but no. i don't love him.

ayan..now i'm listening to silence [well except for the whirling of the electric fan] and it's nice...when it's silent, you can hear the silent beating and the
whispers of your [or my] heart...

gusto ko talaga sumama sa team-building namin...kasi i really love to be close to nature [excepting the icky insects and of course dangerous animals]
and we'll go to a falls daw eh..that's nice. wala lang..ayun lang... :( i feel sad coz i want to be with them naman even for some time. hay. besides i
know it will be fun.

this is one of my entries na talagang MAHABA. walang survey. just plain rants..feelings...ang sarap ilabas eh...maybe i should create another secret
blog where...no one will go too..where no one will see...

in the beginning, this blog was a huge secret. In fact, only a few people really know this blog. And then they linked me. And then their friends linked
me. And then whatever. That is why there are now some people that i am not close to who knows my blog...i love my privacy. that's why i don't use
the friendster blog because it is so public. and i'm not okay with that..but i think you have the option if you want everyone or only a few select to be
able to have access to it, right? but im not sure..and i'd rather keep my privacy [or at least, what i have left] in this blog. Besides, in friendster kasi, you
have [i think] a limited space to be creative eh..dito..talagang do it your way! laln.

i'll explain my fetish for the "phoenix" pseudonym. Well a phoenix is a mythological bird [i think it's from the Greeks]...It's usually red and gold [Oooh yuck
uap colors.haha!]. For a certain time [i think either until 500years or more], they live and grow old. And then they burst into a ball of flames and die...
and after some moments, they rise from the ashes [ugly of course] as a newborn...and then they raise into a more majestic plummage than ever.
According to hP...they are highly faithful...

kaya ayun...i realized that it's a good representation of thy self... For one thing...i go thru a lot of hell...and i die [from so much pain, emotionally or
figuratively or whatever] and then after i die, i'm reborn...shining anew...I'm stronger after every challenge...i'm better after all the pain... kaya
ayun...that's why i chose it...dati, laging heart ang symbol ko coz i love LOVE and i love TO LOVE...pero it's so common...so now i use phoenix. gusto
ko tuloy palitan un picture ko from "love princess" to "phoenix princess"...pero un na ang name ko sa bluetooth... besides...i can have as many
pseudonyms as i want. but i love phoenix the best. Faithful? Yes...sobra. After ba naman ng aking pagtruth searching a more than a year ago...
diba..laln..

OMG i just heard that my friend and n-d- broke up. gulat tlga ko!! tapos sya pa un nakapgbreak eh ang alam ko mahal na mahal niya un..eh ayw na daw
niya ng ganun...so i guess...ganun talaga...gulat talaga ko. wala lang. parang biglaan? hehe...

anyway...why do i call myself a goddess? kasi makapal ang mukha ko. seriously, un reason ko ... hehe :) hehe. nainspire lang ako kay diana -
goddess of the moon- and venus - goddess of love-...kaya un...ako kaya? goddess of what? the love moon? enk corny! laln...

the freak texted again. it really freaked me out once more. sobra. he's scary. i hope i'll know who he is soon. kasi ippablock ko na sim niya. if hindi
pwede un...i'll change my number. i swear i will. sabi nila mimi&silver jamiel...baka daw siya un. i doubt it. kasi nga 1. He doesn't like me. 2. I doubt
that he will waste load para lang mangtrip. 3. He didn't ask anyone for my number. 4. He's too serious and too busy to joke like that. 5. Hindi siya
ganun kasama. Nagagalit na siya sknya....hehe :) ang bad naman kasi niya eh =s sana tumigil na siya...sigh.

osige...eto na lang muna...i feel a little exhausted. ingat kayo lagi...sigh.

*LOVE SUCKS. It brings pain in your heart and tears in your eyes...but you know why love really sucks? It's because sometimes your damn best wasn't good enough to make it last...*

*Mahal mo : ayaw sa'yo... Ayaw mo : Mahal ka... May gusto sa'yo : Friends lang ang kaya... Umalis si MAHAL, dumating si BAGO... Bumalik si EX, iyak si BAGO... Alis si EX, wala na si BAGO... Mga gago talaga mga tao...*

flick the pain away.

2006-05-03T22:14:00.000+08:00

[1] What color is most reflective of you?> white siguro..kasi w/o it, there's darkness..and white is just pure [im not but i like it] and it's clean. ewan.basta un.

[2] How did you get the idea for your profile name?> one of my dream careers? ... ;)

[3] What time were you born?> 6pm. :)

[4] What song are you playing now, or wish youwere playing?> goodbye my lover. for some inane reason, i am so loving that song.

[5] Has the death of a celebrity ever made youcry?> uh..no?

[6] What color underwear are you wearing?> gray.

[7] Do you want a baby?> as in child? yes.two or three.i like kids :) lalo na, the sweet ones. but i do have babies.lots of them.as in.and they almostall call me mommy. hehe :)

[8] What do you wish to do now?> sleep? get away?

[9] Whats the highlight of your day?> today? hm..the afternoon i spent with my arnis team mates? it was really fun in a kalog kind of way.

[10] What is your pet's name?> tix.ahehe.

[11] What color are your bed sheets?> hmmm...i think red. yeah, it's red.

[12] What are the last 4 digits of your phonenumber?> 6064.

[13] What was the last concert you attended?> ewan.too long to remember. i feel like a bore.

[14] Who was with you?> ewan ko!

[15] What was the last movie you saw?> i forgot.hm..i guess shrek2..hehe :) dito sa house lang un..nung isang araw sa hbo..

[16] Who do you dislike most at this moment?> wla naman? well aside from biennyerz

[17] What food do you Crave right now?> wla!! i am freaking full//bumabalik na naman un vomiting attitude ko eh..

[18] Did you dream last night?> uh yeah.it's so freaking gross!!

[19] What was the last TV show you watched?>i think..kaninang umaga un..myx daily top ten.

[20] What is your fave kind of jewelry?> necklaces..un..pearl necklace.hehe.

[21] What is to the left of you?> the wall.

[22] What was the last thing you ate?> pizza..yummmmm.

[23] Who is your best friend?> si tix of course :D

[24] Write a song lyric that's in your head?> "goodbye my lover...goodbye my friend..you have been the one..you have been the one for you...i've been addicted to you..."

[25] Who last YMed you?> right now..im chatting with jamiel and sarah :D

[26] Where is your significant other right now?> sa bahay ng kaniyang tita.. laln.

[27] Do you have a crush/ or special someone?> both.yes.sigh.

[28] What is his/her name?> hm..i can't mention it here noh!!the answ to the 2nd one..*o16*

[29] When was the last time you cut your hair?> i forgot na..

[30] Are you on any meds?> uhm..not really?

[31] Do you have a mental disease?> sometimes i think i do.hehehe...okay this is the first time i really laughed for the past few minutes.

[32] What shirt are you wearing?> it's a nytie..uhm...pale violet.

[33] What time is it?> 1033 pm.

[34] What color is your hair?> reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaally dark brown

[35] What is your fave frozen treat?> arcee dairy chocolate ice cream. i'll love you like hell if you give me one :D

[36] Are you sexy?> of course i am.

[37] What's your favorite store?> i don't and never have shopped here.but i love marks and spencer.. tapos..yrys :D

[38] Are you thirsty?> yes..whenever i drink coke, i get reeeeaaaally thirsty.

[39] Can you imagine yourself ever gettingmarried?> uhm?!

[40] Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and missed?> chie.chie.chie.really.

rantings of a teen queen

2006-05-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

now this is what blogs really are for: for letting out all those pent-up feelings when you just can't seem to find that one person who you know will listen. and since no one will, why not rant about it somewhere? the bad thing is, no one can't even comment here.i am not yet up to the challenge of figuring out the mistake in my template so that comments can finally be posted. sigh.

anyway, just got home after that delicious meal from pizza hut.

moving on...i saw setim on my way to mega. he was going to school. i notified my friend immediately that i saw him and that he smiled and we even exchanged high fives. since my friend incessantly talks about him still, i thought it okay to tell her that i saw him and the exchange between us. unfortunately, it was a mistake on my part. seems like she doesn't want to know about that. she didn't want to see that one picture a while ago and yet she wanted to see their pictures together last march.dame.i don't get it. really, i don't. that is just way too confusing. she's so intent in ruining his life.i don't get why though, i just let her be eventhough it won't really do her any good. if she's happy on meddling up his life, fine. i keep on reminding her to just stop it, to stop thinking about him and yet just last night, we talked for hours about him. argh. i just don't really get it. and now i feel so bad and so guilty. i don't know when's the "correct" time to talk to her. i don't want this to break into a huge fight. she's not mad. i guess she's down coz he smiled. she doesn't want him to be happy. but his smiling doesn't really mean he's happy lately. she knows him. she knows that he never shows his real feelings; his pain. i just don't get it. from now on, i'll just keep quiet. sigh.
i didn't see him today. i'm so finished with ian. i saw ian this afternoon and i was like...okay. i was more excited to see yonatz. haha :D anyway, im just really (o_o) right now. so feeling blanked out. sigh. sigh. sigh. anyway, as i was saying, i didn't see newbie today. which is just as good. i listened to "goodbye my lover" and i realized that i love...sigh.

there IS a difference between all my crushes and love. i may get all excited whenever i see him but that's just it. love just isn't about kilig moments or whatever. sigh. no matter how kilig i might get, that just isn't love.

i just really feel down..sobra..sigh :(

i'm feeling so anti-people right now.kanina sobrang high ko because of the sugar rush sa coke..ngayon sobrang down.damn it.

im trying my best na hindi magmura eh.hehe...new practice. sigh. sigh. sigh.

hay.

tapos my mum seems inclined not to allow me to majayjay laguna with the varsity. it's so far daw. okay i'm 18 and my sisters are already old. but still, won't i ever be allowed to stay out late? sometimes i think it's just so unfair. i really wanna go. and have some fun this summer. damn tlga. sobrang argh! sigh. sigh. sigh :'( kaiyak. ewan ko, sobrang nabadrip lang tlga ko..hay.hay. hay.tama na nga to.
+ drown me +

haye

2006-05-03T10:20:00.000+08:00

i am such a stalker.

laln.

maybe i should start calling all my close friends "hun"..."dear"...laln.

haha :P it just comes out naturally. the socialite endearment. EW.

anyway...i feel like a dumb ass.for some reason, whenever i'm around really smart people and they start talking about stuff i cannot relate to, i feel dumb.and lost.not to mention the feeling of just drifting away.

sigh.

im not flirting with...him.okay.ganun lang tlga ko sa guys..henry's the first one na ganun ako. who can blame me? he's so freaking huggable, i swear.and so nice :) henry's really nice.

anyway..so aun na nga.no matter how many guy's hand i hold..no matter how many guys touch my fingertips.. [yes, he did that.gulat tlga ko nun.]...it doesn't mean anything.

sigh.this is such a boring summer.i LOVE it.

haye....................i'm off to school and fool around with my friends..baka matagalan pa bago kami magkita.

oh dear Lord. thank you..

sana po payagan ako sa trip ng varsity!!!!!!!!!!! grabe!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haye..un lang..

+ phoenix +

blah and what nots

2006-05-02T10:25:00.000+08:00

i just went for free commenting..i hope it works..sigh. laln..haaay...
whoever he/she is..i hope magstop na sya.he's actually freaking me out.big time.
napaka-stalkerish.laln..
weeeee...sna di nya 'to mabasa.shit naman.sna lang tlga he's stalker 'tude doesn't extend up to here.
ang freaky kaya.
okay, so i won gold.im the only girl (out of four) in our varsity who won the gold. and im so surprised because i came to play.to maybe win bronze.. not gold. somehow, i think i'm the most surprised person of all. coz ... hello? it's me!
okay.i have this...like for someone.like lang naman..pero ngayon, wala-wala naman na...so why the hell am i looking up his friendster?! shit!!!
ang cute nya.damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.sna wlang makabasa nito.which is next to impossible. okay. let's revise it.sana hindi to umabot kay...o7 kasi lagot na naman ako!!
haaay...
okay..so we had a mini fight last night. it's one of those fights na unsettled pero hayaan na lang. i think naman, nagets nya un complaints ko.. sige na nga..i guess i better go..
hay.hay
lalang.
it is such a boring, lazy, crispy-hot summer. and i love it.i love the boringness of this crispilicious summer. if only im in bohol, roasting myself in a bikini. now that would top my lovely summer.
i have one fantasy. and i want it to be fulfilled. okay, so it's not just one fantasy. a couple of fantasies.
1. i want to swim with dolphins.i swear.
2. i want to experience a shipwreck [where of course, i'll survive]
3. i want to see a shark up close and drive him crazy [w/c, as they say, is one talent of moi]
4. i REALLY want to go bungee jumping with sharks waiting for me at the bottom.
5. i want to eat 1 gallon of arcee dairy ice cream.
okay.so it kinda sounds so...suicidal. but it's not.i just have this thing for sharks.im a teeny-bit of a daredevil when it comes to myself. shit i want to go rappelling. and just friggin' rig the rope so i'll just go sliding down the mountain top continously.and stop when i want to.
6. i want to fall from the sky and spread my wings and soar through the clouds.
dude what you got for me is something i don't need...
note to self: don't do anything you'll regret later...!!!

2006-05-02T10:23:00.000+08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

2006-04-28T13:54:00.000+08:00

Sono spaventato per amarla. Ciò sono spaventato una volta ancora, cadrò appena quando lei me lascia va.

Sono spaventato di tutto il dolore che sentirò una volta ancora. ho paura lo scontrare.e bruciare. il coz questo tempo so che quando cado, sarà più duro per sorgere dalle ceneri che diventerò.

Dunque cancella il mio paure.e me ama con un amore cosí puro e cosí vero.

So che lei hanno paura ed ancora i suoi sforzi sono il palpable. non sono cieco, né sono girando un occhio cieco verso lei ai tempi lei dà a suo migliore per farme sente cosí amato.

So che lei ama il me.ed ancora le mie paure non sono infondate. Sono basati su un passato che ho avuto l'opportunità per prevalere.

So che a un certo tempo nella mia vita, cadrò. so che cadrò per lei. Darme un tempo per essere assente da lei il coz durante poi, imparo a amarla il più.ed apprezza la felicità lei me dà la vita con appena un testo semplice, un messaggio semplice.

Il bambino - una parola semplice ed ancora lei me chiama con quell'affetto basta fare la mia mattina un buono un.

L'ho doluta ed ancora lei è tuttavia qui. Sempre rimbalzare posteriore per amarme più. e ripetutamente ed ancora.

Non sono perfetto ed ancora nei suoi occhi, non sono. E so perché. Perché lei me ama. ed in tutto lei fa, non importa quanto non lo crederei piuttosto, se soltanto mie risparmiare dal dolore, non posso negare l'amore nei suoi occhi, nella sua voce, nelle sue azioni. Non so che mai ho fatto per meritare amore cosí dolce da tale persona che può dare cosí molto ed ancora qui lei è con me, me amando e pulire che le mie lacrime asciugano.

L'amo. faccio realmente. E no non negherò che lei abbia che porta a farme cade.

Lei non può giocare la chitarra o qualunque strumento. Lei non può essere esperto in qualunque sport. Non lei l'accademicamente-inclinare. Ma posso vedere che nelle cose che importa nella vita, lei abbonda.

So che posso dipenderla da. So che lei tutto farà per me dare il conforto migliore nella vita. e per ciò, la ringrazio.

L'amo il bambino. L'amo.

:)

2006-04-28T12:59:00.000+08:00

You must tell 5 people about this game.
• *07* is the one that you love.
• *07 is one you like but can't work out.
• You care most about mia.
• chie is the one who knows you very well.
• tix is your lucky star.
• fix you is the song that matches with *07*.
• crazy for you is the song for *07.
• with a smile is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
• and high is the song telling you how you feel about life

except for the part that i care about mimi the most..the rest is pretty much true... :)
*you've got to hold your head up high...

2006-04-22T10:17:00.000+08:00

- o 16 -

I welcome you inside my life For what you do

Oh you make me happy So very happy Once again
Here I stand So inspired To take your hand

And never take for granted What I was granted Once again
Chorus:

I never thought I could love again

I never thought I'd let somebody else in

I never thought I could trust and then Here I am in love once again (Once again)
You touched my heart Now I can breathe

You saved my life And still I can't believe you made it happen

Made it happen Once again
Chorus:

I never thought I could love again I never thought I'd let somebody else in

I never thought I could trust and then Here I am in love once again (Once again)
Bridge:

And when see you baby this is when I want to scream it at the top of my lungs

I love you baby I know I'll never have this chance again
Chorus:

I never thought I could love again I never thought I'd let somebody else in

I never thought I could trust and then Here I am in love once again (Once again)

I welcome you inside my life For what you do Oh you make me happy So very happy Once again...

laln..aun lang..sabi kasi ni liz magupdate ako.o yan na! hehe :)

grabe nacoconsensya tlga ko na i won't be able to attend danna's debut...for various reasons.

kasi naman bakit pa namove 'tong hatawan sa 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but i'm sure.God has his reasons.and i should not complain..

so instead of mingling extensively with my so-missed friends,

i'm going to my village's fiesta w/ my sister.

que quelchamar.

i hope i won't see c---- there. i don't think so.

okay so let's discuss my pathetic condition right now in this blitzy lovable friggin' hot summer.

- i just got well after being sick for one week.

- my nails are way...pudpod out of texting 18/24 hours a day.

- i am taken (quite possessively, i might add) of which that thing is a secret...for now.

*somehow i'm just not myself. i don't want to propagate to people that i am (sadly, just kidding) taken right now. for some odd reason, i got phobic. kaya lang..sabi nila it would be better "daw" kung alam ng mga tao so they won't make -07016- tukso to other girls...and according to liz...para daw malaman ng mga tao na i am postively over 'ex.' eh ano ba naman un..i don't really care if they think i'm still gaga over 'ex' eh...i am positively happier with...the "now" than the "then"... aun lang.so of course she won't ever get to read this.and i don't really propagate my blog.for some odd reason, people keep finding my blog. dame!*

HOW HOT ARE YOU? GET A PIECE OFPAPER AND NUMBER IT 1-11 (NO CHEATING)SEE YOUR RESULTS AT THE END OFTHETEST!!

1. WHAT SHADE OF HAIR DO YOUHAVE?a) Dark-xb) Light

2. OUT ON A DATE WOULD YOU WANTTO:a) Go to a partyb) Go out to eat-x

3. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOROUT OF:a) Black-xb) Redc) Blued) Grey

4. PICK YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBY OUTOF:a) Runningb) Working outc) Playing video games-x

5. IF YOU COULD PICK A STORE OUTOF THEFOLLOWING, WHICH WOULD IT BE?a) Hollister-xb) Old Navyc) Abercrombie

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PLACEOUT OFTHE FOLLOWING?a) hawaii-xb) Londonc) florida

7. IN THE SUMMER WOULD YOURATHER GOTO:a) The Beach-xb) The Movies
8. WHAT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY MONTH?a) Januaryb) Februaryc) Marchd) Aprile) May

f) Juneg) Julyh) August-xi) Septemberj) Octoberk) Novemberl) December

9. WOULD YOU RATHER:a) Chill at homeb) Go out with friends-x

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITEINSTRUMENTOUT OF:a) Guitar-xb) Bass guitarc) Drums-xd) The Triangle

11) NAME A PERSON OF THEOPPOSITE SEX

**ANSWERS** ^_^1.a. dark= sexy [5points]b. light = sweet [2 points]

2.a. go to a party = playful [2 points]b. go out to eat = romantic [5 points]

3.a. Black = Goth [2]b. Red = loud [3]c. Blue = cool [5]d. Grey = Dark [5]

4.a. Running = active [2]b. Working out = cool [5]c. Playing video games = nerd [2]

5.a. Hollister = tasteful [7]b.Old Navy= laid back [2]c. Abercrombie= stylish [5]

6.a. hawaii = you like being aroundpeople [2]b. L.. You are quiet, and like thecold [2]c. florida = You like to party! [5]

7.a. beach = tan, likes the sun [5]b. the movies = entertainment [2]

8.a. January = popular [5]b. February = lovely [2]c. March = rebellious [5]d. April = playful [5]e. May = happy [5]f. june = chills a lot [5]g. July = smooth [3]h. August = fun [5]i. September = quiet [2]j. October = out-going [3]k. November = pimpin' it [5]l. December = warm [3]

9.a. home = quiet, romantic [5]b. go out with friends =crazy [5]

10.a. guitar = eye-catching [5]b. bass-guitar = mellow [2]c. Drums = crazy [5]d. Triangle = simple [2]

11. This person will fall in LOVE with you!SCORES!!!!

UP TO 17= LOUSY GET A LIFE MAN18-20=OKAY21-35 = Rather HOTT36+ =REAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLY HOTT...SEXY !!

okay so that was boring.but i got a score of 44 so i'm pretty hot. ahaha.vanity existed in my mind for sometime there.okay..so i really don't wanna be called "hot" i'd rather be called "beautiful"...hehe :) i'm crazy.sige i gtg.

i suddenly remembered why i'm OL for.

i really-really-really want to go to a beach and just go snorkeling - again - like we used to do in palawan...i miss palawan!!! c'= best place ever!!!

2006-04-01T19:52:00.000+08:00

1. after class, you can see me at...>> walking outside the school straight to shang..hehe
2. where do you usually hang-out?>> sa 5th floor acb.haha! :)
3. fave song(s) as for now?>> with a smile..narda..
4. last movie you saw?>> chasing liberty.damn, the guy there is sizzling hot!!!
5. most expensive object you bought with your own money?>> ...i don't wanna reveal it here eh...
6. choose: CIGARETTES OR BEER?>> damn, beer na lang!
7. they say "you are who you hang out with" ..>>i guess so.i hang out with great people.hehe :D
8. have u ever fallen in love w/a friend?>> damn yes.
9. what would you do if you caught your girl/boy &bestfriend sleeping together?>> give them my blessing and erase them from my life.
10. any pets? what are their names?>> my kittens! sunshine, winter, winter solstice, rose...
11. have you punched someone?>> uh-huh..
12. what did he/she say?.>> i forgot na..it was fayerz.haha :D
13. which do u prefer? jollibee or mcdo?>> jollibee is waaay yummier.
14. wendy's or kfc?>> kfc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
15. ever broken someone's heart?>>i guess so...sabi nila..
16. ever had your heart broken?>> yes//unfortunately, it's always part of the "love" thing.
19. what did u do to the person who broke yourheart?>> mercilessly make them feel remorse
20. what's inside your pocket?>> i don't have a pocket right now..
21. fave past time?>> reading endlessly.
22. biggest regret in life?>> wla for now.i'd rather learn from them than regret them.
23. worst experience you've been through?>> i dunno..i guess wla pa un tlgang "worst"
24. best place you'd rather be?>> italy- rome in particular.or london or a cafe in paris.
25. would you kiss on a 1st date?>> no friggin' way.
26. last time u cried?>> hmmm...i don't know..don't remember.
27. do you have a mole in your arm?:>> uh, none.
28. what is the color of your clothes?>> white sando.it's time for sandos and tank tops!!!
29. how are you?:>> i'm okay.
30. what are you going to do today?:>> uhm? watch tv all night.
31. do you know how to sing?>> hmmm? ask the cats who yowl when i sing :D
32. last person you texted?:>> angel!! [ingat!! :) miss you!!]
33. describe yourself in ONE word?:>> amazing.
34. last thing you did before you slept?:>>talk on the phone with chie.
35. have you ever been to cebu?:>> yes..,
36. last chore your parents asked you to do?:>> wash the dishes.
37. when was the last time you said "cool"?>> hm?
38. where are you?>> living room
39. have you experienced an earthquake?>> hindi nga eh.i never feel it whenever there's one :(

i was reading my previous poems i wrote on scrap papers. i rolled my eyes on some, laughed on some, remembered past experiences, and smiled on some stuff i wrote...ang funny.

i really did come a long way from the kiddie-me i was before..hooray.

haha :)

i want to buy persuasion..lirael, sabriel, abhorsen.

i've grown up in my 18 summers
and i still never outgrew my passion for reading.

it's just so fascinating.

whoooooo.

laln..

sige na.haha.laln.

stuff

2006-03-30T10:41:00.000+08:00

...

and then i'll wake up.i'll see you smiling in front of me with your arms opened wide to envelope me in a huge hug.

...

i took a deep breath and i can smell you and as always, you smell like heaven.

...

you close my eyes with a slight touch and i can smell bacon and eggs in front of me. you got up especially early just to give me breakfast in bed. i turned around to kiss you and once again, just the slightest touch sent shivers down my spine.

what a nice way to wake up...

...

i closed my eyes and this time i can smell the grass, the trees.

...

i opened my eyes and there you were, still smiling.

...

i didn't have to look around to know that we're secluded and we're alone. Suddenly you brought out our lunch. You cooked all my favorite foods.

...

Needless to say i know my face lit up.

...
not because of the food.

...
but rather of what you did.

...

i closed my eyes and silence came.

...

i know this time i'm alone.

...

i cried, thinking it was just a dream, that in my dream, for the first time, i'm alone.

...

then i heard voices.

...

the door opened.

...

and there you were, carrying my breakfast, with a gentle smile on your face.

...

i love you.

2006-03-30T09:46:00.000+08:00

--Goodbye my lover--

(james blunt)

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,

Remember us and all we used to be, I've seen you cry,

I've seen you smile.I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the father of your child.I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

And I will bear my soul in time,When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

okay..so maybe this isn't wholly appropriate for just one person...

1. Talk to someone you like: *yes..my friends..seeing na natulugan ko nnmn si poop..

2. Buy something: *hmmm..new clothes? hehe ... :)

3. Get sick: *hmm..nasusuka ko every now and then..dunno why..

4. Sing: *i'm frustrated.hehe..i just sang the song i posted before this..

5. Talk to an ex: * ex what? lover? ahaha...

6. Miss someone: *hm..right now? wla naman..

Last person who...

7. Slept in your bed: *ako syempre..sino pa kaya? ;)

8. Saw you cry: * tagal na nun kaya i don't really remember..

9. Made you cry: * siya na un!

10. Went to the movies with? * chie..

11. You went to the mall with: * pa and ma.

12. Said "I Love You" and meant it: *aha.

13. Ever been in a fight with your pet: *tix is my pet so ... lately, no.

14. Been to California: * i wish!! i want the sun!!

15. Been to Mexico: * gusto ko rin..gnda ng aztec culture nila eh..weird.

16. Been to Canada: * sana.pag winter para malamiiiiig!!!

17. Been to Europe: * sana..i really wanna go to Italy, France, Germany..ah basta trip to Europe..and live in England. :D

19. Do you have a crush on someone: * do i still?...hmmm..aside from arty and harry..and channing tatum, wla naman.. lol ;)

20. What book are you reading now: * who's bugs potter?

21. best feeling in the world: * to be loved..aha.

22. future kids names: * coeli..delilah..adelaide..

23. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: * oo.. :) super dami..puro bears :D

24. What's under your bed: * aba the floor of course.

25. Favorite sports to watch: * hmmm.arnis? haha..table tennis? ewan..

28. What are you most scared of right now?: * cockroaches of course.super yucky nila eh!!!

29. Where do you want to get married?: * sa Church..aha.

30. Do you have a job: * sa april pa..office girl.hehe

31. Do you like being around people: * hmmm..at times.may times na i wanna be alone and just read a book...

32. Have you ever cried: * of course..paglabas ko pa nga lang sa mundong to, umiiyak na ko..tsktsk..

33. Are you lonely right now: * hm?..not really.njan si liz eh, stalker ever. :) haha!! [if you're reading this..ahaha !!! :D]

34. Song that's stuck in your head right now: * goodbye my lover, high, narda :D

35. Played strip poker: * how do you play that?

36. Gotten beaten up: * yes, by my sis and by the arnis members..ehe

37. Been on radio/TV: * no..i think.

38. Got bored: * shit lately yes!

39. Been in love: * can't deny it.yes.

.40. Wish you were happy: * of course..i think gusto ng lahat un except nln sa mga taong gusto magpahirap sa sarli nila dba..

1. Do you believe that love is forever?*hmm..love exists forever..but love with one person...? could be..

2 Do you get hurt by people easily? *hmm..binawasan ko na sensitivity ko eh!nasobrahan nga ata, manhid na daw ako ngayoN!

3 Do you believe that all people are generally goodat heart? * uhm?..i guess so.they're just shaped by the circumstances in their own lives..

4 are you sure that you will be what you want to besomeday? * yes, i think so.i'm makulit that way.

5 Do mean people make you sad? *no..i laugh at them coz they get irritated that way..aha.

6 Does ice cream make you happy? * yes!! mababaw ako that way.

7.Do you sing in the shower? * minsan lang..when im sure the shampoo won't get inside my mouth..

8 When it rains, do you like to splash in thepuddles? * eew no! unless clean dba.aha.

9 If you see a cute girl walk down the street,do you smile and tell him/her that he/she is cute? * no!! i nver tell anyone those things..

10 Do you notice when people have beautifuleyes? * yes.i'm very attracted to people with cute&smiling eyes.

11 Have you ever cried at a movie? * oo!! haha.guilty.

12 Is it cute when old people are holding hands? * hmm..i think it's really sweet that their love lasted.

13 Are you a happy person? * yes..

14 Do you tend not to worry even when you knowsomething bad is about to happen?*i'm a worry-wart.a big one.

15 Is it okay to cut off barbie's hair? * no..sayang nmn.!! mahal ang barbie noh!!

16 Have you ever laughed so hard that yourstomach hurt? * oo!when i watched she's the man! that was so friggin funny!

18 Are you slightly lazy? * oo..hehe :D

19 Do you like to drive with the windows down? * hmm..kung wlang traffic..

20 Are you in love? * ehem...

2006-03-29T17:28:00.000+08:00

i decided to go back to my old blogskin..kasi it's simple, black, and nice looking.. hehe :) aun lang.. wla kasi ko mgwa..and prang mas trip ko tlga tong skin to..ang ganda eh.flowing lang.okay i'm blabbing once more..i really don't have anything to say..

ang sarap kumanta sa "Narda" by Kamikazee..sigh.aun lang..

summer na!!!

time for fliplops and tube tops, backless and miniskirts.. heheheheheh!! :)

don't forget ur sunblock! :)

2006-03-28T18:58:00.000+08:00

There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future didn't seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then...
Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company ..
You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walk ing to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's parents.
With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same any more; he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right beside her...
Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those back with him...
Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever. The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can't have her, see her or be with her ever again.........hope you understand.
Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.

survey and pics..

2006-03-22T14:39:00.000+08:00

laln..haven't studied yet..haaay...laln.i honestly don't have anything to say.i must really get going and get my arse off this couch..*sigh* i can't help my..by body's craving for laziness.
sagot nga muna kong survey for fun..hehe..sayang yung pics ko dun sa isang computer..sayang tlga.. the computer crashed kasi eh..sigh.i still feel confused and unsure..and whatever..*sigh*

laln..nung 18th birthday ko..
hmm..this looks interesting..

1. What’s one character in a book, movie, or television who reminds you of yourself, and why?^^ belle ng beatuy and the beast..aha :) kasi she loves books..like me!! :)
2. If you could have any superpower, what would itbe?^^ to fly or to be able to go to a place i want in a snap..like paige..hehe :)
3. What kind of person do you find yourself romantically attracted to?^^ huggable, sweet, caring, thoughtful people.
4. How do you think you’ve matured over the years?(if you have)^^ in a nice way.ahaha.kapal ko tlga. :)
5. What’s the freakiest experience you or a friendhad involving ghosts, UFOs, or the paranormal?^^ 4th year..agness room..ha.
6. What’s one opinion a person can express thatmakes you want to bitch-slap them?^^ that my tix is something she's not.
7. What family member do you get along with theleast? Why?^^ him! (not my dad of course) he's just argh!
8. What’s one guilty pleasure you indulge in fromtime to time?^^ hmmm? aha.my secret :) pero siguro kasama na dun ang splurging for food/books..
9. What ethnicities, other than your own, have you dated if any?^^ nada.isn't that kind of racist? or maybe it's just my mind.
10. What’s one social/political issue that you might contribute money or time toward?^^ research for leukemia.hehe ...
11. What’s one of the most superficial things about you?^^ hmmm?wla naman ata..oh yeah.my "straightness"..
12. What do you think is one of your best qualities?^^ my hair..i just love it like hell.hehe
13. When was the last time you yelled atsomebody?^^ just now.
14. What’s the crappiest gift you’ve ever given or received?^^ i don't know..
15. What was the crappiest job you’ve ever had?^^ my only occupations are being a princess and a goddess of the moon and i'm not complaining!
16. Have you ever stolen anything? If so, what?And don’t worry – nobody will call the cops.^^hm?...
17. What’s your favorite pick-up line?^^ get away from me.ahaha!
18. What should a guy/girl do to pick you up at abar?^^ give me a REAL diamond ring.hehehe...
19. What are your opinions about the French?^^ nice accent.
20. Do you think Crash should have gotten bestpicture?^^ i didn't watch it.
21. Why do birds suddenly appear…every time…youare near?^^ coz im just toooo pretty.hehehe
22. What's something you wish ppl would automatically know about you?^^i only bite when hurt.
23. What’s one misimpression that you think peoplewho don’t know you have about you?^^that im a perpetual bitch.im not!okay..not always..
24. What’s one quality you dislike in anotherperson?^^ liar!!!
25. What’s your best physical feature (and don’tsay eyes)?^^ my hair.hair.hair.
26. What’s the name of the person who posted this survey before you, and what do you think of them?^^divina.she posts nice surveys.. hehe.
27. What are you doing today?^^ studying.okay, supposedly studying for my theo exam.
28. What do you hope to do this weekend?^^after arnis? sleep and rest like hell.
29. What’s one of your favorite movie quotes?^^"i guarantee that we'll have tough times.i guarantee that at one point, one or both of us will want to get out.but i also guarantee that if i don't ask you to be mine, i'll regret it for the rest of my life..." - runaway bride. :)
30. Why aren’t you working instead of wasting timedoing this stupid survey!!! ?^^tinatamad pa ko...!!!!

me and my mimi..

let me sleep a deep sleep for hours on end until i can emerge refreshed and ready to face the world...

laln.

2006-03-21T21:14:00.000+08:00

I realized love is not blind. Rather love ACCEPTS. Love will die for someone else. And to do that, you have to be sane. Love sacrifices and to be able to do that, you have to have the capability of thinking. Love is when you will sacrifice yourself. If love is blind, how can it see? To turn away from the things that pains you, you have to have sight. And when you turn away, that is when you accept. Ahaha :D

Open letter to Bian Acosta

I realized that I did not do you justice when I got mad. I forgot the person inside you, the one I knew, my friend. All because anger got me blinded. I do not regret letting you go coz I know it both did us good. Rather a part of me regrets that I finished our great friendship. It was really one of the best.

I have forgotten that before what we had, we were friends. I have forgotten all the things you did for me. And I have denied that you really loved me because of the pain I felt. I will never forget the time you hugged me when I got your crush to hug you that night. Not because I was hurt, I was happy for you when I saw the way your eyes shone with delight. And then you hugged me after that and you didn’t let me go after that. I will never forget the times you shared your lunch with me because I didn’t want to eat mine. I won’t forget the time you gave me your favorite baon because I didn’t want mine and you knew I loved yours. I won’t forget the time you cooked extra cordon bleu for me because you knew how much I loved it. I won’t forget the time you held my hand when they talked to you and we all knew they were dissing me. I won’t forget the time you turned your back when she confessed. I won’t forget the time you gave me your slippers when my feet hurt. I will never forget that you never let me pay for anything. And that you tried to give me the best of what you can. I won’t forget the flowers and all the letters you gave me even when you were busy. I’ll never forget the time you called me on an April when we just broke up…asking why I want to get away from you and that I can hear your voice filled with pain…and that you finally asked me back. I won’t forget the words you wrote when we first broke up on that September. That was one of the sweetest letters I ever received. You were one of the best. I will never forget the time you had a crush on her and you confessed it and you forgot it and the way you brush away my tears when I cry. I won’t forget the way you stood by me when your sister found out and the times you wait for me at the end of each day just to be with me for some time before we part ways. I won’t forget the day you came to my parent’s office and brought me food and your face fell when you found out I don’t eat cheese spread so I choked it down for you. I won’t forget the time I went to your house and you tried to find something for me to eat.

You did a lot of things for me and I never doubted your love for me until we broke up. Out of spite and out of the pain I felt, I closed my eyes to the truth that you loved me. It’s just that sometimes, love isn’t enough. And love doesn’t last forever.

*but maybe this time it will.*

thank you for everything bian...

what a great piece..

2006-03-08T18:18:00.000+08:00

Love That Bites by Paolo Manlapaz

I'm going to fall in love someday. One day, perhaps from out of the blue, perhaps from behind my back, some wonderfully precious lady is going to grab one of those caveman type clubs and send it crashing over my head. She's going to make me see stars. For days, I'm going to be in a smiling stupor. Maybe I'll even drool a bit. And I'm going to be in love.

This love is going to be neither cheap nor easy. It's not going to be a plastic ring bought at the corner dime store. It's not going to be a brass ring purchased at some commercial mall. It's going to be a set of diamond in a ring of gold. This ring will not come from a gemstone though. I'm going to craft it myself. I'm going to smelt the ore, fashion the ring, cut the diamonds, and forge this magnificent jewel. It's going to shine in the sunlight, glitter in the moonlight, and it will last for more than a thousand years. And it will before her.

Now I don't want this love to be bed of roses, painted or otherwise. I don't want it simply sweet and sugary. I don't want it to be just like peppermint bits or chocolate kisses.

I want this love to hurt.I want this love to bite. I want this love to be able to bite. I'm not talking about ant bites, mosquito bites, bee stings. I don't want to be bitten by some pitiful insect that I can slap away or crush with barely a thought. I want to be bitten by something with teeth. I want to be bitten by a great white shark or the king of the jungle. I want a piece of myself to be torn away and chewed on. I want to bleed.

I'm not crazy, and I'm not a masochist. I have never enjoyed pain and I don't like being hurt. But I want my love to be able to hurt me.

I want my love to be someone I can fuss over, someone who'll have me pulling out of my hair in fistfuls trying to decide whether she'd rather have the dozen roses or the Valentine truffles. I want my love to make me chew my fingernails down to my knuckles when it's almost midnight and she's not home from the office yet. I want my love to make my heart pound ceaselessly when I worry about her driving on highways inhabited by gas-pedal-pushing madmen.

I want my love to make me pace back and forth, wearing deep trenches in the carpet, when it's 8:30 and she hasn't called yet. I want my love to push big, fat, watery tears from the hiding places in my eyes, down my flushed cheeks, off my hardened chin, and onto my clenched fists when she yells the word "hate" in my face and calls me a jerk. I want to feel the cold kiss of steel through my heart should my love ever leave me all alone.

And should my love ever die, I want to weep for days on end. I want to scream and kick and curse and hate. I want to feel as if my body were being burned by fierce flames. I want to thrash madly about and when my spirit is spent, I want to feel a noose tighten around my neck, slowly choking me.

With my hands clasped about my throat, I want to feel cold, as if ice had slid through my veins. I want to feel the heavy black weight loss and love on my frail shoulders.

I want my love to hurt, hurt as painfully as can be. I want to feel every bit of this pain. I want to feel every bit of this love.

I want this because love that doesn't hurt is love that isn't real. And I want the real thing for me and my true love.

lyrics lang..wait..

with a smile (eraserheads)

lift your head, baby don't be scared

of the things that could go wrong along the way

you'll get by with a smile

you can't win at everything but you can try

and baby you don't have to worry

coz there ain't no need to hurry

no one ever said that there's no easy way

and when they're closing all their doors

and they don't want you anymore

this sounds funny but i'll say it anyway

girl i'll staythrough the bad times

even if i have to fetch u everyday

i'll get by if you smileu can never be too happy in this life
coz in a world where everybody hates a happy ending story

it's a wonder love can make the world go round

but don't let it bring you down and turn your face into a frown

you'll get along with a little prayer and a song

lift yer headbaby don't be scared

of the things that could go wrong along the way

we'll get by with a smile

now it's time to kiss away

those tears goodbye...

no classes and some bummed thoughts

2006-02-24T08:22:00.000+08:00

i sooo hate makati mayor. sobra.i mean, the MMDA are so kawawa.they are just doing a good job! i got really pissed off yesterday when our bus was apprehended by the MMDA but the driver was just laughing coz he knew he won't be caught. damn it. MMDA should be allowed to give tickets. why? coz they are actually doing SOMETHING. while the policemen are not. they are "bayaran" pa.(forgive me if you're relative's a police but please, everyone thinks the same thing.) Anyway, so there. you know what i think? (of course you don't.) i think that Binay is just mad coz Bayani Fernando one-upped him.

Trivia: Binay was the previous MMDA chair.

so there.i mean why detract him eh he's just doing a really good job? the traffic in makati was actually getting good.

the same with today.it's Edsa.for goodness sake people, GMA actually did something.and the peso is actually 51.something to a dollar.and if you continue with all that bullcrap, the economy will fall once more.i think that is what the president's detractors are trying to do.to make her look really bad. the economy's the one who's getting all the minus points here guys!!
stop with all the things you're doing.i'm only 18 and yet i am so tired of all the coups and rallies that what, happened like ten times in 2005....that's frustrating.whatever.

i really love the song "nobela" by join the club..sobra.

"ngumit kahit na napipilitan, kahit pa sinasadya mo akong masaktan paminsan-minsan...
At aalis...magbabalik, at uuliting sabihin na mahalin ka't sambitin KAHIT MULING MASAKTAN...SA PAG-ALIS, AKO'Y MAGBABALIK..."

once again, i'm closing my life.

2006-02-20T19:07:00.000+08:00

Ngumiti kahit na napipilitan Kahit pa sinasadya mo akong masaktan paminsan-minsan Bawat sandali na lang Tulad mo ba akong nahihirapan Lalo't naiisip ka Hindi ko na kaya pa na kalimutan Bawat sandali na lang At aalis, magbabalik At uuliting sabihin Na mahalin, ka't sambitin Kahit muling masaktan Sa pag-alis ako'y magbabalik At sana naman...Sa isang marikit na alala'y Pangitaing kay ganda Sana nga'y pagbigyan na ng tadhana Bawat sandali na lang Sumabay sa biglang pagkabahala't Lumabis ang pagtataka Tunay na pagsintang 'di alintana Bawat sandali na lang...

i love you

2006-02-19T17:05:00.000+08:00

sobrang mahal na mahal kita...

sige..dito lang ako..maghihintay hanggang kaya ko...dito lang ako...kahit malayo ako...dito lang ako ha...mahal na mahal kita...

sigh...

2006-02-15T07:45:00.000+08:00

i just wanna scream...i really want to go lie down on my bed and pull up the covers over my head...

i'd love to sleep the whole day...

and forget all the pains and heartaches i've been experiencing lately

but of course, i can't...

coz to live like that would ruin me...

i'm holding on to my sanity...

and it's a true blue fact that God is carrying me everyday...

the pain is wretched.

sometimes i just want to pull my hair...

i really want to run away.far far far away from here...

but it seems like there's no place that i can run to...

oh, i know somewhere that i can really run to and no one can find me...

hehe..somewhere in south america, i know there's a place for me...

hehe...i really want to go that country where the sun never sets...

the 24/7 sunny country...

coz darkness makes me weep...

coz the lack of light scares me...

i just want to run away..even if it's wrong.

i want to shut myself away from the world...

i just want to stare at the ceiling and forget that my heart's aching...

everything's just so messed up...

i don't know what to think anymore...

coz it's really. magulo.

i'm not the only one who thinks so, though.

everyone who knows what's happening says it's realy magulo.

i know it is...

is there still hope?

i don't know...

it's scary.this is really scary.

but i'm willing to forget my fears if it means being with you...

why don't you fly away with me?

It took one lookand forever lay out in front of me,

one smile then i died only to be revived by you

there i was, thought i had everything figured out

goes to show just how much i know about the way life plays out

i take one step, away and i find myself coming back to you,

my one and only,one and only you

i know, that i know not a thing at all'cept the fact that i am yours and that you are mine...

you told me that this wouldn't be easyand though i'm not one to complain

*sigh* i wish things could be simple na...

sana maging masaya na ko...

i understand your reason for leaving for U.S.

if it was me, i'd run far away and go to namibia.

kaya lang i might get aids...

hehe..siguro somewhere like...Amapola.

Guatemala Yucatan.

and just stay there till i rot...

and just waste away my life, pretending that i'm fine...

i just want to get over this phase.this pain.

i just want to be back...with you :'(

sigh.

obsession

2006-02-06T21:21:00.000+08:00

--crazy for you--

Swayin' room as the music starts,

strangers makin' the most of the dark...

Two by two their bodies become one.

I see you through the smokey air,

can't you feel the weight of my stare?,

You're so close but still a world away,

what I'm dyin' to say is that I'm
Crazy for you, Touch me once and you'll know it's true..

I never wanted any one like this,

It's all brand-new, you'll feel it in my kiss

I'm crazy for you, crazy for you.
Tryin' hard to control my heart,

I walk over to where you are,

Eye to eye - we need no words at all.

Slowly now we begin to move,

ev'ry breath I'm deeper into you.,

Soon we two are standin' still in time,

if you read my mind you'll see

Crazy for you, crazy for you.

It's all brand-new, I'm crazy for you.

And you know it's true, I'm crazy, crazy for you.

I'm crazy for you, baby.

--gemini--

come a little closer, flicker in flight,

we'll have about an inch's space,

but i'm here i can breathe in, what you breathe out
let me know if i'm doing this right,

let me know if my grip's too tight,

let me know if i can stay all of my life,

let me know if dreams can come true

let me know if this one's your's too,

coz' i see it and i feel it right here, and i feel you right here
the vacuous night steps aside to give meaning, to gemini's dreaming

the moon on its back and the seemingly veiled room's lit by the same star...

--WE BELONG TOGETHER--
I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so
I should've held on tight, I never should've let you go
But I did nothing, I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lyin' to myself
I could not fathom I would ever be without your love
Never imagined I'd be sittin' here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you, and I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I've never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling now that I don't hear your voice
Or even touch and kiss your lips cause I don't have a choice
What I wouldn't give to have you laying by my side
Right here, Cause baby
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please, cause
We belong together
Who am I gonna lean on when times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone til the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place, Baby nobody else
Oh, baby, baby, We belong together
I can't sleep at night, When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio, Singin' to me
'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minute this is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial tryin' to catch a break
and then I hear Baby Face
I only think of you
It's breakin' my heart
I'm tryin' to keep it together
But I'm fallin' apart
I'm feelin' all out of my element
Throwin' things,
Cryin' tryin' to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong,
The pain reflect in this song
Ain't even the half of what I'm feelin' inside
I need you, need you back in my life, baby

laln..mejo senti lang..grabe, i can't believe this day..sobrang ewan..

buti na lang mejo kinaya ko pa..sobrang out of it lang tlga ko..

wala akong naintindihan sa sinasabi ng teachers ko..

i cried while writing my english paper..basta.

tapos i slept through two classes..

sobrang puyat..

nagwworry na nga sila aya..

coz ang tahimik ko..maputla..tapos mejo maga pa mata ko..

*sigh*

--i seem to keep on saying those words lately a lot..

anyway, aun lang..

there will always be things i will regret..

and i will never forget the lessons learned in the past few days..

IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, LET THEM KNOW..

IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE NA..

silly me.

...i wish it would be a happy day tomorrow...

a happy o7...

sigh.

save me..

2006-02-05T22:00:00.000+08:00

save me..

i can't do this alone..

save me..

come back and save me..

please..

i need you..

crap obsession

2006-02-04T20:53:00.000+08:00

--some crap--

1.Name: princess

2. Your Nick Namedv: princess o7

3. Current Location: in my own little world... =p

4. Place of Birth: manila, i think..

5. Zodiac Sign: aquarius.

6. Male or Female: somewhere in between.still can't decide eh! hehe :)

7. Age: 18

8. Complexion: fair.hehe

9.Occupation: moon goddess...princess :)

10. Residence: paranaque

11. screen name: princess o7 :)

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color: very very very dark brown.

13. Hair Long or Short Hair: mahaba na ulit...

14. Eye Color: dark brown.

15. How do your nails look: dirty.eeewww

16. Do u like yourself: most of the time..hehe

17. Piercing: one on each ear lang...

18. Tattoo: sana!!! i really wanted sa ankle...

19. Righty or Lefty: righty.

___Your 'Firsts'___

24. First Roller coaster: i dunno..super bata pa ko..baka grade 3...

25. First cell phone: nokia 5110.

26. First best friend: si camille! ex-neighbor..she went off to davao years and years ago//

27. First Award: most polite.can you belive that?!?!

28. First Sport You Joined: hehe :) arnis.

29. First pet: a cat named rose :)

___ Favorites___

33. Movie: beauty and the beast

34. TV Show: totally spies.

35. Color: white, yellow, pink, blue

36. Artist: ...m.y.m.p?

37. Song: crazy for you...

38. Food: pasta, pizza, chocolate...

39. Drink: mocha frappe :)

40. Candy/Chocolate: chocolate - van houten, cadbury, hersheys...candy..mentos lang. :)

41. Sport: arnis

42. Favorite sport you watch: arnis na nga lang..

43. Brand Of Clothing: y.r.y.s ata...

45. School Subject: lit..arts...

46. Animal: cats, dogs, penguins, and bears!!!

48. Magazines: time, candy..,

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids: yes!!!

59. Want to Get Married: SANA...

60. Careers in Mind: CEO.

67. Cute or Sexy: can't i say breath-taking?

68. Lips or Eyes: eyes...eyes...eyes

69. Hugs or Kisses: hugs and kisses...kisses...hugs... :)

70. Short or tall: taller than me sana...

71. Easygoing or Mysterious: easygoing w/ a hint of mysterious...

72. Romantic or Spontaneous: both... :) romantic more, though

73. Fatty or skinny: fatty!! sarap kayakap!!

74. Sensitive or Loud: both... :)

75. Hook-up or Relationship: STABLE, long-lasting RELATIONSHIP.

76. Sweet or Caring: both..more of the caring though.

77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: in between.. :) spice with cautiousness...

___Have You Ever___

79. Drank Alcoholic drinks: sort of..

80. Smoked: NO FREAKING WAY...

81. Ran Away From Home: nu-uh...

85. LOVED SOMEONE: of course.

86. Turned Someone Down: i think?

87. Cried when someone died? sobra...

___Do You Believe In__

90. Destiny/ Fate: not really.

91. Love At First Sight: no.

92. Ghosts: sort of...

93. Aliens: haha :) amazing

94. Soul Mates: well...not really. i mean, after all, it's really our choice...

95. Heaven: YES!

96. Hell: yes..

98. Kissing on The First Date: ay no.

99. Horoscopes: i read but i don't believe...

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There Someone You want But You Know you can't have?: huh? i have the person i shouldn't have...

im really busy,..gusto ko lang.hehe :) misssss you.

stress relief

2006-02-03T21:38:00.000+08:00

i have forgotten for a moment what im supposed to do..but anyway.
1. do u smoke? --no freaking way. EW!
2. ilang mug ng kape ang kaya mong ubusin n1day? --grabe, 1 cup lang naman...
3. laughed khit alang nkkatawa? -- minsan..hehe :)
4. cried khit alang nakaka-iyak? -- di ah!
5. ever tried na magwala? --yes, i did before i got a good mighty spanking.hehe :D
6. pumasok sa class khit d pa naghihilamos? --haha :D di naman.
7. pumasok ng class na di alam na may exam pala? --oo, sa math pa.hehe!
8. natulog kahit di pa gawa ang papers naipapasa knabukasan? -- hindi pa naman..sana never.
9. nautangan ka na ba tapos d binayaran? --don't remember eh..
10. may nakapagsbi na ba sayong suplado ka? -- oo naman.haha :)
11. anong sabi mo? -- wala lang :)
12. cno pinaka importanteng tao sa buhaymo?my family...my friends..and syempre sya na un!
13. ano ang pinaka masakit na nagawa mo para sa isang tao? --to give up.hehe :)
14. pano mo mssbi na mahal mo ang isang tao? --when you will do anything and you're not thinking of the consequences pag minahal mo na...hehe :) tska willing ka magsacrifice and one day you'll suddenly realize that you just have this big dopey smile on your face.hehe :D
15. maggwa mo bang magmhal ng 2 tao? -- ngek.eh di hindi true ung love na un kung dalawa kasi magkukulang ka dun sa isa..
16. would u fight for the one u love or lethim/her go? -- eh...ayaw ko pakawalan.
17. pno kng mdming ngsasabing d kau pwde? -- marami naman tlga eh..eh so what? mahal ko, mahal ako, ano'ng problema? *sigh*
18. anong ggwin mo pag umiyak sa tbi moung taong mhal mo? -- major panic mode! biro mo biglang umiyak sa tabi mo!!!
19. Pano kung kk-break nyo lang tpos gusto nya friends kau...ok lang? -- ay nu ba yan...no, di ko kinaya eh...
20. ngawa mo na ba magmhal ng kaibigan? -- of course..
21. ano mas mhrap, sbhin s kaibigan mo n mhal mo xa o itago? -- mas mahirap magsabi..it's awkward and scary.

i've been missing you lately, much more so than the past few days.i miss the feeling of your fingers brushing across my face.i miss the feeling of your embrace whenever i rush out to see you. i miss seeing that amazing smile which lights me up. i miss hearing your laugh, your voice. i miss your big hand which envelopes my hand. i miss holding you tight and feel your love for me overflowing. i miss your eyes. actually, i miss everything about you.
--[07]--
i miss tickling you and suddenly touching your cute little nose.i miss teasing you endlessly and just have you roll your eyes at me.i miss the feeling of having your strong arms wrapped around me as we let the hours tick by...i miss laying my head on your shoulder. i miss hanging out with you. i miss the times we would just hold hands and just watch people pass by quietly.i miss sitting beside you.i miss you.
--[07]--
in a few days, we will be celebrating something i didn't think we'll actually reach.what, with all our petty fights and our busy schedule...if only i could, i would trade anything for a day with you. but i know you understand that even if we want to, our responsibilities have to be faced.*sigh*
i love you.this is a too-blatant testimony to that.i miss you...i miss you...i miss you.when will i see you?*sigh*i love you.
je t'amo comme toujours.

---

2006-02-01T22:20:00.000+08:00

i feel sad today.i mean ngayon..kanina kasi mejo okay pa ko, ngayon hindi na...
sigh, i didn't think i'd end up my day a little sad.
eh kasi ang alam ko talaga pag na turn-off, di nya tanggap un part na un about you...
what was i supposed to feel? eh ganun talaga ko...
maybe if you see that part of me, you'll turn away in disgust.
you'll feel horrified or whatever.
i'm so scared for you to see that coz i don't want to see you turn away because you still can't accept na "hey, ganun pala siya?!?"
i mean, fine, you said tanggap mo.pero naturn-off ka! excuse me for thinking that way.
i don't know.
i'm just waiting for the day na matanggap mo ko, buong-buo.
na walang part sa'yo na naturn-off, natturn-off, at matturn-off about that wild part of me.
and i got a bit messy talking to chimmy.
sa sobrang badtrip ko, sigh.damn i love chimmy.she makes me laugh talaga.
anyway.basta.aun lang, i just wanna get this out of my head and out of my system.
sana matapos na to.
im not paranoid.this isn't one of those paranoia things.
or maybe it's too much for me to wish for.
is it?
i can't go back to the past and erase that memory.it seared my memory.the time you said na naturn-off ka.
its times like this na talagang malutong ako magmura.
i should really get going with my life.sigh.
night-night...

--31 things about me and other ramblings--

2006-02-01T20:17:00.000+08:00

31 things about ME
1.YOUR HOROSCOPE?>> aquarius
2. SiNGLE OR TAKEN?>> definitely taken, committed, and serious about it :D
3. iN LOVE?>> yes.very much so :D
4. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SERiOUSLYHURTBY A PERSON YOU LOVE?>> of course, always.not just by my cute monster though :D
5. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR REASON iFYOU TURNED SUiCiDAL?>> depression. nuf said
6. iS SUiCiDE REALLY KiLLiNGYOURSELF?>> there's social suicide and then there's death.so i guess not.
7. COUNTRY OR CLASSiC?>> classic...
8. PREFER CUTE/iDiOT ORSMART/UGLY?>> smart/ugly nln noh...i love intellectual DISCUSSIONS.not arguments.
9. ARE YOU iN A STABLE RELATiONSHiP WiTHYOUR BF/GF?>> at long last, yes.last week was kind of rocky kasi.
10. YOU`D EXPECT A TEXT MESSAGE USUALLY FROM:>> >>-->>07<<--<<
11. HAVE A BEST FRiEND THAT iS iNTHEOPPOSiTE GENDER?>> nada.
12. WHAT DO YOU LiKE DOiNG WHENYOU`REDEPRESSED?>> eat ice cream.loads of it.
13. CHEERFUL OR BORiNG?>> manically cheerful
14. DESCRiBE A PERFECT DATE?>> romantic dinner date which started with a view of the sunset.tapos dancing under the stars...
15. EVER WONDERED WHY NOBODYKNOWSWHY THE SKY iS BLUE?>> kaw lang siguro but people who went thru high school do know..hello
16. EVER BEEN HURT BY LOVE?>> by love? hm.i think so.
17. WiLL YOU EVER MAKE THE SAME MiSTAKE AGAiN? WITH LOVE???>> i hope not.
18. EVER HATED ANYONE LiKE HELL???>> damn yes.
19. WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN A PERSONBREAKS UP WiTH YOU AFTER ONE DAY?>> laugh and say na it was just a joke for me lang
20. GiVE ONE WORD THAT BESTDESCRiBESWHAT YOU`RE FEELiNG NOW?>> indifferent
21.DO YOU BELiEVE iN YOURSELF?>> sure, no one else will.
22. EVER PHYSiCALLY HURTYOURSELF??>> yes and im not proud of it.
23. EVER VERBALLY HURT YOURSELf?>> of course.
24. MOTTO iN LiFE?>> you'll never know until you try :D
25. WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE?>> to love and make everyone's life around me a little happier :D
26. HAVE YOU EVER HAD FEELiNGSABOUT A FRiEND FROM THE OPPOSiTE GENDER?>> of course..even with my monster, i'm still kinda normal. LOL
27. iF YES, WHAT DiD YOU DO?>> un last..i ran away from it.
28. iS FAME & MONEY THE MOST iMPORTANTTHiNGS iN YOUR LiFE?>> NO FREAKING WAY.
29. DO YOU MAKE ANY MOVEMENTS OR SOUNDS WHEN YOU`RE SLEEPiNG?>> sounds lang.sometimes, i talk :D
30. ARE YOU DiFFiCULT TO WAKE UP?>> no.i wake up easily...
31. HOW OFTEN DO YOU SLEEP?>> as much as i can :D heheheheh!

i love you baby.

okay...i went blog-hopping like hell..okay, i've been reading her blog entries and it moves me.it sooo moves me i want to cry. heheh :D osige tatapusin ko na entry ko so i can read her blog in peace.i hurt for her.ang sad.parang ang gago na ewan. parang mas okay un nangyari sa'kin na pag tinatanong siya kung mahal pa niya ko, lagi niyang sagot: HINDI na.odba.ang ouch naman nun..well that's life. ako kaya, iiyak na naman ba ko for that same freak reason? i hope not. that's too sad.that will make me break down..lalo na ngayon..ngayon na mahal na mahal ko na talaga siya..

life really is a bitch.
sigh.. i love you.

survey from abby11 :D

2006-02-01T10:32:00.000+08:00

1. wonderful things that happened yesterday?
- kasama ko monster ko!!!

2. nagdasal ka ba?
- oo naman...

3. wat tym is it?
- time for me to take a bath... hehe :) 10:40 am

4. you feel ______..
- STRESSED AND WORRIED over my papers...

5. ano ang mga suot mo kanina?
- shorts and spag top pa rin...

6. kelan enrolment nio?
- sa june pa pero pag summer..i guess sa march.

7. in lab ka ba?
- in "LAB" no.in "LOVE", yes.

8. ano mas gusto mo, prof nio sa logic or sa theo?
- ay naman, theo na lang..seeing na wala pa kong logic ngayon..hehe :D

9. things that u usually do at home?
- magtext ng sobra and kumain..matulog...maging bum!!!

10. ano favorite food mo?
- well....chocolate.pasta, pizza! yum-yum!

11. ano unang ginawa mo paggising?
- nagmumulat ng mata and check the time..im time-conscious.

12. ur crush?
- un bear na binigay ko sa monster ko..hihi :D

13. describe urself...
- im the seventh princess and goddess of the moon. :) dba, baby?

14. ano ang usually na ginagawa mo pag bad3p ka?
- nagmumura.hehe :) tumatahimik.pag di ako kay b inis, i bitch sknya.hehe :D

15. e pag masaya?
- ngumingiti with shining eyes.haha :D

16. e pag me nasaktan ka?
- nagssorry agad.sincerely.

17. e pag nainluv ka?
- wala.nagddaydream.hehehe :D

18. ano balak mo para bukas?
- pumasa sa bio test.hehe :D

19. na love at first sight ka ba?
- crush at first sight pa lang naman...

20. naka2log ka na ba sa klase nio?
- oo!!! alam pa nga ng teacher eh.. :D

21. describe love.
- love is blind.soooo blind.

22. nagyoyosi ka ba?
- NO FREAKING WAY.

23. e uminom?
- hmmm...dati lang...last year pa un!

24. may kinaiinisan ka ba ngaun?
- wala akong naiisip at the moment.

25. masarap ba ang kamote?
- i guess?

26. ilang minutes ka naliligo?
- 20 minutes max..

27. ano ang una mong pinanood sa sinehan?
- i don't know...

28. me plano ka bang sumali sa fraternity?
- sana kung meron...joke :D

29. nakita mo na ba ang grades mo?
- last sem lang...

31. ano ang masasabi mo sa grade mo?
- okay lang.i could do better.

32. ano ang pipiliin mo??? -admirer mong jologs o ex mong bakla?
- ay naman.my ex is 'gay'. pero i would never choose my ex noh. wla na lang.

33.ice cream o 5 pesos?
- ice cream!!!! kung chocolate.

34-dream car or studies?
- studies na noh...

35. may gumugulo ba sa isip mo? kung oo, ano ang mga yon? kung hindi, bakit?
- civ paper ko!!! ='(

34. favorite basketball player mo?
- wala.ate ko :D

35. nagago ka na ba ng crush mo?
- oo naman.

36. ano ulam mo kagabi?
- hm? i ate choco revel bars...

37. ano masasabi mo ngaun?
- i'm going to be late. gtg!!!

Princess, you're inspired by Helping People

Not everyone has the compassion and generosity to look out for the greater good. Lucky for all of us, there are kindhearted people like you who make a real difference in this world. You're probably the first to step up and lend a helping hand whenever you can whether it's organizing a book drive for the library, serving dinner at a soup kitchen, or giving an elderly neighbor a ride to the doctor.Chances are, you're also driven by your ideals and want to really make a difference in the work that you do. But that doesn't mean you're unrealistic. You know that Rome wasn't built in a day and that it takes years — and even decades — to make changes in the fabric of society. Until poverty, illiteracy, and a plethora of other ills are no more, you'll do what you can to help out and make life better wherever and however you can.

"and now that you're here i never wanna say goodbye love...
never wanna be without you..."

lovapalooza and other pathetic ideas

2006-01-30T21:13:00.000+08:00

i wanna go to the lovapalooza and stay the night away...preferably with... ****...
sigh.
life is weird..and so am i.
goodluck, zzzzzzz...kaya mo yan... :) hehe :) aus lang yan..gnyan tlga...sna di ka matrauma nor maparnoid...go! i know you can do it!!! :D

so there..syang ana and angel and chippy and sabel and jaja didn't go last sunday..that's sad.

i miss you...
i love you..and im scared.
i feel like im in a roller coaster and the only way to survive is to hang on and not to let go...
i will hold on, i know that.no matter how many cute guys pass by, i always choose YOU.
you must've put something in the foods you give me.just kidding.

i don't like this feeling though.i'm through with running after people...lalo na if i'm the one who'll end up getting hurt...
i can't do that.not now, not again, not anymore.
things will be disastrous for me if that happens...

go back to the way you were...to the **** i once knew...
im tired of crying..and running.and thinking and hoping.
i want to go back to the way we once were...

in a few days, we'll be celebrating something i didn't think we'll reach
obviously, we will.
at least i hope we will.
i've started to love you too much now.more than i ever had.
so you can't.you shan't.leave me.naman...don't.
awayin kita jan eh..hehe :)
i do love you.
i love you to bits
i love you to pieces.
oh yan ah!sobrand declaration na yan.
and if ever things will not go the way i want them to be...
i wouldn't know what to do...

i love you...
happy...*E*E*

wla ln

2006-01-14T19:31:00.000+08:00

i am busy but as usual, im not in the mood right now to go gallivating.i mean studying my hours away.i wanna rest.i want to answer surveys muna and just waste my time like a normal human being.

i sooo love charmed.i love their powers..ang gusto ko piper's freezing power, phoebe's ability to cast spells, and paige's orbing power. wla lang. ang astig eh.and phoebe can actually levitate.now that's waaay cool.i wish i could fly.i do fly but not, you know, physically.i just look like i'm flying high up in the air in moments like...basta aun...

no matter hw much i save i don't know if it's enough.i do hope so...hay.hay.laln.

kanina mia and i attended arnis.endurance training again.mejo nkkpgod nga lang..aun...

so there...wla akong mkwento.ah.the squatter's people.freaking people.naman...sometimes i feel sooo opinionated but sometimes i don't even have one tiny opinion.haha :) i guess it comes with my mood.im so freaking speechless.im just worrying..survey muna...

1. have you ever been hospitalized?> nung bata ako, lagi..ngayon healthy na ko!! :)
2. how many months to go before your birthday?> months?i have...grabe! 9days na lang pala birthday ko na! haha! :)
3. last movie you watched?> ah..ah..i dunno! sobrang busy wla akong maalala..
4. is your landline listed in the telephone directory?> i think so..not sure na eh.maybe my mum removed it na...
5. what was your section when you were in grade1? were you a class officer?> grade 1..camia.no freaking way.
6. are you reading anything right now?> afghanistan : war and peace. haha! the taliban.. hehehe :)
7. do you have any frustrations?> i'm a frustrated singer, dancer, painter.haha :)
8. what is the time now?> 7:44 p.m.
9. Whats your favorite chocolate?> it's a tie between...van houten & cadbury..pag chocolate ice cream, choco almond brownie.yum yum yum!
10. if given the chance, will you join pinoy bigbrother?> nu-uh!
11. if someone called you right now, would youtake the call?> oo naman..y not?!
12. do you have a favorite nursery rhyme?> haha :) bah-bah black sheep siguro!
13. do you like your handwriting?> oo.hehe :) it's neat and tiny.
14. have you ever trespassed someone else's house?> have i? i don't think so...
15. do you want to be paris hilton in your next life?> haha! cool! sure, why not? sarap ng comfort ah.pero i want to use it in more productive ways...and no freaking scandals! shux!
16. have you ever gotten drunk?> no.not yet.no.
17. do you think someone thinks of you every night?> oo naman :D kapal mukha ko eh.
18. how's your health right now?> okay lang.lagi lang pagod but otherwise, healthy.hehe
19. what did you want to be when you were young?> nun.ngayon entreprenuer.tama ba spelling? i think so...
20. how many languages can you speak?> english.filipino.i can say hello in french.haha! :)
21. has anyone made a poem for you?> no one...ay meron ata.si chimmy.that's so sweet.i don't have a copy of it though.
22. are you hungry?> no...i think i'm fat kaya i'm not hungry para.basta.
23. why do you answer surveys like this one?> kasi naaaliw ako.para kong may kausap na di ko maintindihan.i think lumalabas ang ating "want" ma-interview, to be famous.i know i do.not as a star though.but as a GREAT GREAT GREAT business woman.
24. last food you ordered at mcdonald's?> kanina lang, hot fudge sundae and ice cream cone///
25. the last person who sent you a private messageon ym?> abby ata.miss you!!!
26. look below. how many remaining characters are there? nada, this is a blog, doi.

so there, finish na.okay ikwkwento ko na nga.
we went to this art gallery kanina in manila, avellano's art gallery.it's actually pretty cool.and there i found out that my teacher, good Ms. Cristina Amador is actually an accomplished artist! in fact, i saw one artwork of hers, she's an abstract painter.and she's pretty good.prominent people buy her stuffs, she has TWO degrees, (I.E and Fine Arts). i must say my respect for her soared like a hundred percent. so anyway, that's not my story. my story is... there were two dogs (boy and female) tapos when i went outside, the first dog, the girl, smelled me like she was smelling if i'm a good person.i must have passed her standards, huh? so there, mia and i went browsing around the sculptures then her i dunno, hubby,i guess went to me too and smelled me too! haha! tapos i think he was contented and he layed down on my feet! (i was sitting down kasi) i felt like his master.awww.i really want a dog.i want an english mastiff. shux.he's a big dog. :) laln.that made me so happy tlga...

im chatting with buzz right now.i know.GASP! haha :) so there.i asked her to tell her sis [kepe] na i'm sorry para matapos na..i mean i don't wanna dream about it anymore na!!! so sabi nya.eto i'll post it muna.

pretty: haha buzz... question
buzz...: o?
pretty: galit pa skn sis mo?
buzz...: it aint personal
buzz...: or so i think???
pretty: pero why?i don't even knw why...
buzz...: naw..
buzz...: i think..me smthin lng...
buzz...: not the sumthin sumthin
buzz...: but somethin..get?
buzz...: mana skin un eh
pretty: hm.ilang times ko na napanagnipan kaya na she's mad.haha nwei, tell her nln na im sorry for whatever it is.
pretty: haha.di ko lang kinaya dati
buzz...: n??
pretty: na mging friends.naman to.
buzz...: anong di mo knaya??
buzz...: U TWO WERE FRIENDS?!?
pretty: kapal
buzz...: no pun intended!
pretty: ang yabang mo.we WERE.we're not now eh.
buzz...: but i ddnt know u were friends after the split up noh
buzz...: kaya nga, we didnt na after.that's what im talking about...hey dko kaya noh.bkt kaw ba kinaya mo...
buzz...: to befriend -----!? after splittin up!?
pretty: yeah.
buzz...: i tried,didnt work out fo me
buzz...: kya til now am stl kinda bitter bout er
pretty: gago naman nito.mana kayo sa isa't-isa.
buzz...: i had a reason
buzz...: and she does too
pretty: haha but tell her ha.dna kaya ng consensya ko eh.haha tell her im sorry.
pretty: well at least..but it does hurt.haha
buzz...: but i think we deal wit issues same
buzz...: it hurts u!??!
buzz...: damn!!
pretty: na nagbreak kayo? gago.hindi na kami.naman to.
buzz...: kung ako sau, forget it
pretty: i did forget it.im actually wildly happy right now.no offense or anything. saya sa college noh
buzz...: yeah yeah..
pretty: sarap magsight-seeing everyday.so many cute guys.haha !!
buzz...: e y extend ur sorry's pa
buzz...: ok n un
buzz...: s'all cool
buzz...: bka skin mabuhos eh
pretty: eh syempre i didn't tell her sorry before.it was left hanging i guess.hoy kapal......
pretty: it's better na rin.i don't wanna dream about it na.haha
buzz...: ayt ayt

b, if you're reading this, wla lang.i actually feel better.hm.at least nasabi ko na..so there.you knw naman for sure, sino yan...dba? i just put her under the name "buzz" for security reasons.haha :) so there..i just hope she relays the message...hmmm..sige i'll go na...i have more stuff to do.i really miss you! i dunno what's wrong w/ ur fone ba? our fones? how come this is happening? on a weekend pa..i miss you miss you miss you...

i'll see you sometime, i promise.just be there.hay, b...laln.talk to sam, ayt? you have to tell her what the 'old' sam's like...maybe she's lost or she's sad right now.just talk to her.don't make sermon.

you know naman me. - eew.one of the yuckiest lines i've ever heard tlga..

b!!! miss na kita!!!
hay laln..eto i'll post something.

this is so true...

hope you're okay...estoy enamorado de ti.ingat lagi!!!

2006-01-11T09:49:00.000+08:00

I will - Alison Krauss
Who knows how long I've loved you?
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime?
If you want me to, I will
For (and) if I ever saw you
I didn't catch your name
But it never really mattered
I will always feel the same
Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart
And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For (and) the things you do endear you to me
You know I will
I will Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart
And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For (and) the things you do endear you to me
Oh, you know I will

21 questions from divina
1. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS WEEK?^^ the usual stuff: listening, writing notes, worrying, thinking, cramming...
2. ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE RIGHTNOW?^^ yes!
3. HOW DO YOU FEEL AT THIS MOMENT?^^ sleepy, stressed, and worried.
4. WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?^^ answering this, emailing, chatting with abby and texting..and waiting for my food...
5. WHAT IF YOUR EX ASKED YOU BACK?^^ as IF! pero..no freaking way!!!
6. ARE YOU CRAZY ENOUGH TO DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE YOU LOVE?^^ depends..
7. DOES THE PERSON YOU'RE CRAZY ABOUT KNOW HOW YOU FEEL?^^ oo naman..
8. IF YOU WERE TO GO BACK TO THE PAST,WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?^^ damn it.bastaaaa...
9. WHAT IF THE PERSON WHOM YOU LOVE HURT YOU RIGHT NOW? WOULD YOU CRY?^^ oo naman..im iyakin when i'm hurt, damn it.don't dare..
10. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE TRAPPED IN A ROOM ALONE?^^ freak out then call for help on my fone.
11. WHAT'S THE SWEETEST THING ANYONEHAS EVER DONE FOR YOU?^^ i don't know...meron na ba? i guess....aun.
12. WHAT CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IFYOU WERE DEPRESSED?^^ chocolate, ice cream, chocolate revel bars...sleep.
13. EVER HAD FEELINGS FOR ANYONE?^^ doi.
14. WHAT TYPE OF friend DO YOU LIKE?^^ un mbait and msyahin..
15. HAVE YOU FOUND THAT TYPE OFPERSON?^^ yes!! :)
16. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO HUGYOU? OR YOU GAVE A HUG TO? HOW DID ITFEEL?^^ ----... sarap.hehe
17. WOULD YOU STILL GIVE A CHANCE TOANY PERSON THAT HAS HURT YOU?^^ oo..depende sino un..kung si --- no freaking way..kung si o7, oo..
18.WHERE DO YOU WANNA GO RIGHT NOW?^^ anywhere.
19. DO YOU HATE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?^^ not really...
20. DO YOU GO ONLINE EVERYDAY?^^ no.
21. ARE YOU FEELING HAPPY RIGHT NOW?^^ okay lang..
so syempre nagsurvey nnmn ako..loko ko tlga..eh gusto ko lang..wla akong mgawa eh..no, i actually have a lot of things to do but later na..this is just my jumpstart of the day before i go plowing my head into academic stuff and then i'll forget that i haven't eaten yet.hehe...sh.it.i have to make my civ paper na..i have to pass it early kasi arts paper pa tapos paper sa aps..preliminary paper lang un..who ever heard of such a thing? i don't even know what to do sa civ paper..then..hay shux.i love college life though.sobrang saya.i guess there are just some factors nung hs kaya tlgang..iba nun.pero ngayon im happyyyy na.laln....uy 11 pla ngayon.i am so out of touch with reality i don't even know the date.
happy 11 angel! :)
ang hirap makilala ng tao sa friendster..okay...so im friends with this girl sa friendster named katie and she's from south korea..i never even met her.naman.she's pretty though.pero i really don't know her! this is so weird.anyway..laln.wla akong mgwa.whenever i look at my friend's list, para kong bumabalik sa nakaraan.wla lang.everything's just so surreal.hay...
everything's changing, i agree. a lot of things are different now.sobrang different.after a year, im freaking friends with this group of crazy girls who make me laugh.hehe :) im still with yan,chippy, jkat, chimmy, jus..and all my other babies..im still o7...
pero ewan.laln.
im still hating "be alert" with passion.damn him! he's just so argh!!! i don't care he left, coz before pa he was pitiful na.i mean, doi. to be fair, he is nice sometimes.but he's still the same...argh.he's just soooo gay! i mean, don't get me wrong.gays are fine by me.but not "be alert"..he's not out kasi pero you can see he is.deny pa ng deny.doiiii...okay so tumataas presyon ko.
hehe..so there.i don't have anything to say naman na.
oh yeah.
im freaking out over the hatawan.i can't do it.i just can't.i can't fight...i can't fight back..and there are very times when i actually do want to fight..but i'm scared to get hurt.coz i know i'll get hurt.im too frail..hay.okay i'll just answer another survey and then i'll eat na.
--answer with true or false-- from liz ;)
I've consumed alcohol: true
I shut others out when I'm depressed: true and false..
I open up to others easily: true..hm..depends din sa tao..so false din..
I hate more than love: false.
I own over 4 rap CDS: false
I love Disney Movies: true
I don't kill insects: false
I curse regularly: true
I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation: false
i have a job: false
I am self conscious: true and false
I like to laugh: true
I smoke a pack a day: false
I can't swallow pills: true.i have a hard time swallowing vitamins and stuff
I've been out of this country: true
I believe in ghosts: true
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room: true
I am very ticklish: true
I love white chocolate: false
I bite my nails: false
I am comfortable with being me: false and true
I play video games: true
Gotten lost in the city: false
Saw a shooting star: false
Had a serious Surgery: false...
Hugged a stranger: false...
Swore at your parents: false
Come close to death: false
Gotten stitches:false
Bitten someone: true
Gotten the chicken pox: true
Ridden in a taxi: True
Been fired: False
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back: truuuuue
Stole something from your job: false
Been married: FALSE
Saw someone dying: somehow..true
Been on a plane: true
Thrown up within the last two years: true...
Had someone cheat on you: uh..i don't know,..true ata..
Miss someone right now: TRUE
Hate someone but love them at the same time: false...
okay i'm going na tlga.hay..miss you..when will i see you? :c
hay..

o7

2006-01-08T20:53:00.000+08:00

o7 kahapon..laln :) aun lang sasabihin ko... hehe :)
thanks ha...thank you.sarap tlga ng frappe.
hope you had a good rest...
ingat!!!
thanks sam! :)...advance happy 12 kay sam :)

2006-01-06T21:19:00.000+08:00

every girl's dream - Liz Unay :)
1. Get kissed in the rain
2. Have that one hot kiss where your pressed against the wall
3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world
4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs
5. A boy that whispers he loves you in your ear
6. Have that moment where you just gaze into each other's eyes
7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.
8. When you're not with your guy he's all that you can think about
9. Wearing his jacket and everytime you breath in,his scent surrounds you
10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.
11. A guy who squeezes your hand
12. A boy that says he loves you and means it
13. A guy that will play her favorite song outside her window
14. A guy who is loyal
15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.
16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.
17. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable...not hot, fine, or sexy
18. A guy that will never judge you for how you look.
19. A boy that says cheezy stuff to you just to make u smile
20. A boy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends
21. A boy that tells you everything honestly
22. A boy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family
23. A guy that will always let you win
24. A guy who stands up for you no matter who it is against
25. A guy who calls you at night just to say 'hi' andsee how your day has been
26. A boy who tells you that your smile makes his day and makes everything better
27. A boy who will sit on the phone with you when you're sad, even if you're quiet
28. A boy who you can hangout and have fun with
29. A boy that will just randonmly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you
30. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.
31. A guy who would love you forever no matter the circumstance.
32. A guy who wouldn't mind you wanting to get all dressed up and do your make up for him. Even if he says he likes you better without make up.
33. A guy who you can be yourself with and he wil lnever give a care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him.
34. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair,like he's washing your worries/troubles away.
35. A guy who tells you you make his day better,just for being you

another one..Amazingly True.....

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably morethan once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend.You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back...

nice noh...laln :) so there.i am such a wuss tlga....

A- another name usually ppl call u?:% ja.hehe :)
B- Birth month?% january...
C- Country of residence:% philippines.
D- Dating someone or not?:% is this a trick question?
E- Eat alot?:% yes.
F- Favorite past time hobbY?% reading the hours away...
G- Guitar Player?:% AS IF!!!
H- Help other people often?:% when it's in dire need.fine.freaking yes.
I- Initials?:% m.h.m.f
J- Job?:% unemployed right now..but sa summer..i plan to.hopefully.
K- Kids are mean to you alot?:% no..i'm fine with them na.siguro before but hey...kids will be kids.
L- Laugh alot?:% yes...i love to laugh out loud..it's good for my heart :)
M- Married by 25, yes or no?:% freaking no.that's too young an age to settle down!!!
N- Nothing upsets you more than ______:% ian.bien.the rain.a day without sunshine.
O- One thing you regret?:% that i didn't. i don't know.i didn't get mad when she erased gulai's last message.for goodness sake!that was too much!
P- Pathetic person?:% no freaking way.not anymore... ;) *clap clap clap*
Q- Queen of popularity, whom might that be?:% me of course.i'm darn too cute to go unnoticed. ;D
R- Regret ever going out with someone in particulAR?% haha.not really
S- Strangers compliment something about you regularly?:% not regularly...haha.
T- Teachers pet?:% no way!
U- Under your bed is?:% monsters =s waaaaah!!! :'(
V- Vampires, known someone who claims to be one of these mystical demons?:% nope.
W- Wicca, known anyone whom practices it?:% none...i almost tried to..but i didn't :)
X - Xandir, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, cute or not?:% okay lang...
Y- You a drama queen/king?:% when i want to be..i guess
Z- Zoo do you like going to them?:% yes! animals are sooo cute!!! :)

***
i called sir templo "tek" kanina.i said "hi sir tek!" for goodness sake! buti na lang natawa lang sya.napansin nya atang nadulas ako kasi tumatawa tapos sabi ko "ay! hi sir templo!' hehehehehe :) got too used to hearing his name when i helped him with some stuff...laln.laz's sooo hot tlga.hahah! sige, gtg.

fyi: aya thinks sir joven used to be a wild child.

...i think he looks better with his long hair.haha :)

2006-01-04T18:53:00.000+08:00

1. When u looked at urself in the mirror today,what was the first thing you thought?: ~ shit i look ugly today!
2. How much cash do you have on you?: ~ enough to live by. hehe
3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?: ~ rest.damn i need that.
4. Favorite planet? ~ earth.the only place livable...for now.hehe
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call liston your cell phone?: ~ vannie..
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? ~ ever after by bonnie bailey.hehe
7. What shirt are you wearing?: ~ just a shirt i usually wear at home..
8. Do you "label" yourself? ~ yes. "genius" "princess"...hehe
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currentlywearing? ~ rusty lopez.hehe
10. Bright or Dark Room? ~ bright.bright.bright.
11. What do you think about the person who tookthis survey before you ~ mimi!! hehe :) love ko un!
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? ~ trying to sleep talaga. haha
14. What did your last text message you receivedon your cell say? ~ what will i email.hahha :)
15. Where is ur nearest 7-11? ~ sa labas ng village.hehe
16. What's a saying that you say a lot? ~ hello! hehe :)
17.Who told you they loved you last? ~ seeeeecreeeet
18. Last furry thing you touched? ~ huh.??
19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Pastthree Days? ~ enough to get me bangege.hehe
20. How many rolls of film do you need to getdeveloped? ~ nada
21. Favorite age you have been so far? ~ 17.haha.
22. Your worst enemy? ~ sya!
23. What is your current desktop picture? ~ fam namin :)
26. Do you like someone? ~ yubba
27. The last song you listened to? ~ ewaaan.i forgot na eh...

aun lang.haha wla akong mgawa.im too busy.haha

at long last

2005-12-29T12:19:00.000+08:00

after so many days i finally blogged again.i looked into my multiply site and laughed at the last song i posted. it was such a mad song for all the right reasons.hehe :) im getting crazy, going crazy out of my mind sa break na to.finally realized that i actually have a lot of things to do with sooo little time.can you believe that i have a paper to pass by the end of january and i don't even have a topic yet..add to that the hatawan souvenir programs and invitations i have to make, the civ group med mish, reports, acads, tests, biology [goodness sake, let me pass this one!], and of course my social life.can't live without that one coz sobrang miniscule na nga lang, tanggalin ko pa ba yun sa buhay ko..hehe :) besides, the only social life i have right now is texting.my social life is nonexistent.or maybe it will.i hope not.i still have dreams of pigging out on my birthday and fatten myself up then lose weight over again. hehehe :)

hmmm.just read a really nice email.sometimes i neglect to read those kinds of stories and when i do, i really feel blessed and hit with this "oo nga noh"...hmmm.when will i ever make a difference?...

hmmm..i love the pussycat dolls.sarah hates "don'cha" though.obnoxious daw.well...it's not really mean... hehe :) it's funny in a way but she's not a wrecker or anything.sabi nga if there's love between them, she won't interfere so it's not mean.stick wit you talaga cute :) laln.

grabe i'm wide awake more than 24 hours.sun is keeping me awake.and im okay witht that coz...there's a lot of stuff we discuss.hehe :) getting to know kung baga.those talks are the reason why i stay awake.coz it helps.no, it's not psychological.pero it helps talaga and it makes me happy.it doesn't matter that i feel dead every 6am in the morning and that i sleep till 1130 in the afternoon.[today i did] and whoah, some substantial stuff.and it was really sweet.really.

...i've found all i've waited for...and i could not ask for more...

i really wish hindi mangyari kay p&n ung nangyari sa'kin.haha :) goodluck na lang sa kanila..pero sana magbati na sila ni chippy..

there are a lot of things to tell and yet i don't have the emotion to say it.hay...i better go.take care dudettes.hihi :)
happy new year btw. :)

hi nicole de pedro :) hihi :)

five is just a few more days to go!! :)

the crazy thing called ME.

2005-12-07T08:15:00.000+08:00

im really tanga, i swear.i should be doing my paper but im typing the minutes away.pano ba naman, i don't know how my paper looks like and i can't print it.i have it na but im not sure if it's good enough.what the hell, kaya nga may consultation.and i'm not even sure kung meron nga.i have to run....

happy! :)

eto na tlga.my Christmas list...
- siemens sx1 or treo...
- cd ng orange and lemons../cueshe/destiny's child
- un blue skirt sa limited..
- un pants sa plains&prints..
- un top sa yrys..
- bouqet of white roses [tama ba spelling!?]
- dinner.hehe..
- to p.... more...sobrang saya ko tlga....
...

aun lang..i love the song 'stick wit you' ng pussycat dolls.tska un..'don't cha'...sarah hates it though.she calls it 'obnoxious' but i think it's so funny.hehehe :D

im running through my friendster messages and there are messages that i just can't delete.i just can't.grabe Gulai.2nd Christmas and you're not here na tlga.sobrang naguilty tlga ko years back.im so sorry.that was really sweet of you.
read messages from hans.that was really funny.i posted this damned thing on the bulletin board and people read it.not just hans but my classmate read it! for goodness sake!han's even said 'that was nice'...haha.that was so embarassing and sky told the whole classrom about it! grabe tlga un!!so there...

sa 7th page ng inbox ko..there's only one message..from Gulai dated November 27, 2003...2 years ago.....musta na kaya un? siguro masaya sya..at least she's not hurting anymore..

sabi ni mia dapat daw ilabas ko un pain..pero ano'ng ilalabas ko? wala na.this is just sadness and guilt.even if i feel like crying when i see her name, sobrang sad na lang tlaga..of course. if someone else dies, i'll be like this rin..siguro mas malungkot..siguro pareho lang..i don't know.why is this happening? everytime i erase a page of messages, it always comes back to one message.to gulai's message.

saw vinchie's (from adore) pic.he looks gay na.haha :) just kiddng.but really he does.i don't know what to do.maybe i should just throw that box of letters.not from gulai.her letters are in one box and hers and hers alone.

malapit na mag-Christmas.im excited na ewan.kasi andaming ginagawa eh...i gtg na.ingat!

christmas wishes..

2005-12-01T19:04:00.000+08:00

ha...got new wishes..gusto ko ng cd ng orange and lemons...cd ng destiny's child..hay.there's one thing i wanna do.i really wanna paint.i want to.i want to.i want to.

but i really want to eat out.have a dinner somewhere as in naka-formal under the moonlight.that's what i want.that's what i want for my birthday. but i dream to paint the sunset, to capture that wonderful scene, to let my feelings flow.if ever i paint, i think it will be abstract.it's a dream. un lang... hay...

sobrang ang baliw ko tlga kanina.....can't help it.found out [from sarah] that sir lazaro [my bio teacher] is an opus dei guy and he made a vow of celibacy.

anyway, wla lang tlga kong mgawa..i feel.i don't know what i feel but i have a lot of dreams and i can see myself fulfilling them.im changing.or maybe this is who i really am and im finally discovering myself.

im coming out.

i want white roses.roses make me smile.

my Christmas list and other blahs.

2005-11-30T08:22:00.000+08:00

my Christmas list.. :)

- 4th book ni Artemis Fowl.

- siemens sx1...or any palmheld fone..

- money

- to shop sa marks and spencer.. *sigh*

- chocolates.. [kaya lang this will make me fatter! :(]

- a huge bouquet of flowers nestled against pink paper..haha :)

- happiness..

aun lang..alam kong meron pa pero i can't remember na..so there.magppost nln ako ng surveys para msya.

[1] who is the last person who give you testimonial? * si abi..miss you abi!

[2] what comes to your mind 1st? * ano'ng oras na?

[3] what is your mom dong ryt now? * nsa office na sya eh..im all alone.. waaaah..

[4] what is your dad doing ryt now? * office din..

[5] where are you going 2m? * school..may arnis eh..

[6] did you ever dream last nyt? * oo..weird and violent.definitely not my style.

[7] what is the ringtone of your cellphone? * crazy frog! hahah! :D

[8] what is the color of your shirt ryt now? * pink spag.

[9] who is the last person who texted you? * ^bonnie^ :)

[10]what is your favorite dessert or frozen treat and it' s flavor? * chocolate ice cream or sand storm.... :) yum!

[11] what is the unit of your cellphone? * 2100..

[12] did you ever fall in love? * haha.next question.

[13] what time is it? * 8:50.i really should be doing my homework.

[14] do you have a crush? * right now, meron ulit..galing nya eh.!

[15] name her/ him? * d-n-e..hehe :)

[16] did you ever manage a big bussiness? * hindi pa naman...

[17] what was the tv show that you watch last night? * nada..too busy.. :( feel like a nerd.

[18] where did you go yesterday? * sa school..im a big nerd.

[19] what is your breakfast? * haven't eaten yet..

[20] did you ever try to ride on a truck? * ay hindi pa..

[21] what are you going to do at PICC? * why am i going there?!?!

[22] did you miss somebody except your family? * yes.

[23] who is your favorite cartoon character? * boo from monster's inc! :)

[24] your favorite number? * 07! :)

[25] what is the last thing you bought? * a ticket for travelling home.. hehe :)

[26] what is the game that you are playing this time? * billiards with abi :)

[27] how many viewed your profile? * aun.

[28] whose profile did you viewed last before doing this survey? * wla..nagmmdali ako nun eh..

[29] who is the las person you think before sleeping? * siya.

[30] who is the last person you saw before sleeping? * ate ko syempre we're in the same room..

[31] what is your favorite subject? * dati civ..ngayon..art! art! art!

[32] are you thirsty ryt now? * not really..

[33] bracelet or necklace? * necklace..im not much into bracelets..

[34] tv or radio? * any..

[35] juice or water? * water..

[36] slippers or shoes? * shoes..

[37] high heels or flat one? * i love heels..lalo n kung wedges.. :)

[38] sketchers or converse? * i don't really care..i mean, i don't buy rubbershoes..

[39] jag or lee pipes? * jag..

[40] cap or sunvisor? * caps are more useful..

[41] volleyball or basketball? * arnis! :D

[42] senti or classic? * both..i love senti songs.. :) im a mush and a wuss

[43] mall or hauz? * both.. :)

[44] sports car or truck? * eekkk. lime beetle bug.

sigh

2005-11-20T19:38:00.000+08:00

come closer and hold me tight

stay in line of my sight

from now till forever..

this time, leave me never...

feel the weight of my pain

ease the pain from my being slain..

once more..

just like you did before..

wipe my tears dry...

take my hand and fly...

bring me to a new world

where i can run away...

then stay with me...

breathe with me.

im so lost without you

it sucks to be without you

this is crap.i can't even write.the thing is: magparamdam ka naman.that's all i really ask of you.i hope you're okay.feeling ko tuloy you were kidnapped or so freaking grounded.harder this time.o baka ayaw mo lang talga magparamdam.i don't know...just come here.............i need you.

survey from: sam...! :)

Do u like 2 smile? * ata..i smile when i have my reason by my side..

Do u love music? * okay lang..i don't listen to music all the time though..pag sad lang or whatever.

Who do u share all of ur most personal secrets with? * kay chie lahat.mia and aya..minsan.yung iba lang..kay jenna and danna and faye... :)

Do u love to shop? * if i had the money, i'll be at the mall everyday.

If u were given a chance to buy anything u want in the world what would it be? * di ko lam..kung pwedeng ilagay na lang sa bank, dun na lang..kung hindi, house and lot sa forbes cavite.

Why are you completing this survey? * i love surveys and for some other reason.basta.

The most:a) grossest thing u ever heard? * uhm..di ko lam eh..

b) yummiest thing u ever ate? * marami..pero fettucini tlga ng mum ko.the best.

c) cutest boy/girl ever saw? * naman.do i really have to answer that? haha.

If u were given a chance to rule acountry, what country would it be? * i wanna rule this country with an iron fist and an arch eyebrow! haha!!!

The time you're confused the most? * whenever i sat during mrs. adri's trigonometry class.

The thing that would make u like a guy/girl? *pag gentleman, mabait, and sweet.. :) tska funny! :)

Are u always happy? lately, IM NOT

Are u easily jealous? oo..sobra.

Do u always share drinks with a boy/girl? *not really.with a girl, yes kasi friends naman eh.guys, no way.

Are u noisy? *when im with my friends or when im having a really nice time..

Do u know how to rollerblade? * yes..

Do u like to give hugs? *i like to give and to receive hugs..

Do u know how to ice skate? *mejo lang..tried it once and i had a really good time.

Do u prefer guys/girls who curse or aguy/girl who loves to touch u? *no to both.except...

Are u a goody-goody or a naughty kid? *im a really good kid.mistaken lang for bad.haha.

Do you think of your future? *oo, sobra.

Do you easily fall in love? *pag nasa kaniya hinahanap ko..oo..

Are you addicted to someONE now? * yes.

Did you get pissed or pleased when people gave you a surprising moment? *ewan ko..okay lang naman..

Are u a complicated person? * i can be if i want to..depende sa tao eh..

What is your middle name? * miras..

Last person you kissed? *si aya sa cheek kanina..

What are you listening to right now? *wala.

what are the last 2 digits in your phone number? *17

What was the last thing you ate? *soup of the day by pancake house.

If you were a crayon what color would you beand why? * di ko lam eh..siguro white.

How is the weather right now? * ewan ko..pero lately super lamig..msaya sana kung... :(

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? *jenna..

The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? *smile.i love smiles.

favorite Food? *fettucini alfredo.i'm crazy over fettucini.

Do you drink? *alcohol, not really

Do you smoke? *no.eew.gross.

Ever got so drunk you dont remember what you did? * never pa..

Hair color? *black..dark brown..

Eye color?: * brown

Do you wear contacts? *i prefer glasses eh..

Favorite Holiday? * any holiday that allows me to rest for a long period of time is fine by me..

What something you hate about yourself? *magulo and selosa.

Have you ever cried for no reason? *not really i guess..

Last Movie you Watched? *i can't remember..o yeah, catwoman on hbo..

Is there something that you regret doing atthis moment: *leaving my shoes out there.. damn me.

Are you too shy to ask someone one out? * i don't believe in girls making the first move.im too traditional for that.

If you can say something to someone right nowwhat would it be? *i really miss you.

Hugs or Kisses? *both talaga.

Chocolate or Vanilla? *chocolate!!! i'm an addict to that!!

Do you want your friends to respond? * to what ?!?

Who is most likely to respond? * no one..

Who is least likely to respond? * everyone.

What books are you reading? *my bio textbooks.

Piercings?: *1 on each ear lang..

Favorite movies? *beauty and the beast! :) un disney version ha.

favorite basketball team? baseball team? *arnis leskas.hehe :)

Are you in a relationship? * it's complicated. haha.friendster answer ah.

Any pets? *tix! just kidding.my turtle named mia.

AIM? *i don't talk about it much.

Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? *plain..

Cats or Dogs? *both! :)

Favorite Flower? * pink roses.actually, white.

Have you ever been caught doing somethingyouwerent supposed to? *hindi naman ata..

Have you ever loved someone? *yes!

Are you still friends with your ex's? * haha.as if.

Have you ever fired a gun? *i wish.just kididng..

Do you like to travel by car? *mas comfortable kaya yes.

Right-handed or Left-handed?: *right.

If you can be with someone right now, whowould it be? *my monster!

How many pillows do you sleep with?* 9.i love being surrounded by stuff.

Do you have a tatoo? *sana nga eh..

Can you see your self married? * ewan ko ba...

where are you?

2005-11-20T18:12:00.000+08:00

hay..magpramdam ka naman.. please? i miss you.where are you? im worried na, actually.....paramdam ka as soon as you can, okay? call me.please? i wanna talk to you.

first day and other damned stuff

2005-11-08T20:08:00.000+08:00

ang kulit ng hitsura ko ngayon...i wore my white skirt, white shirt, a light brown jacket [my sister's] and bronze-colored shoes. sabi nga ni bok white lady daw ako.i never looked so feminine. feminine na conservative in terms of..skirt. nakashirt ako but i used a jacket coz super thin ng shirt ko, kita ang skin tone
ko, 2 shades lighter.hehe.when i bought it i didn't know na it's that thin...so yan.i arrived at school 8:15 and went to the library.my class starts at 9am every T/F and i was relieved that i arrived 45 minutes before my class started. [i hate being late, especially in school!]

my first teacher is ms.amador.she's nice.mia wasn't there yet around 9am and i didn't know the teacher was the lady on the computer.i commented pa naman na 'naku, baka magalit un teacher!' buti na lang she's nice and she smiles. that's good.God, nag-class agad kami.we watched a film about greek and roman architecture which was okay.ganda talaga ng statues dati but i don't to have one
at my home.way tooooo freaky.

my next teacher was supposed to be Mr. Arnel Joven.my favorite teacher of all time.if you study at my school, be sure to get him.he's the best teacher in the whole world.i like his teaching style.he's not pikon and he's really friendly. i even sat on the chair in front of him! i was THAT excited. then a
woman came in.i thought she was a substitute and i was still optimistic though i was wondering where Mr. Joven was. my mind just won't accept that she might be my teacher. o damn. she closed the door. i looked around class and hello, the room is filled to the last chair.WE were ALL [emphasis on the all] eager for Mr.
Joven.Then she introduced herself to us. She's our teacher for the whole sem! Freak!!! I can't accept it!!! Noooooooooooooooo!!!!! My classmates won't either and one even had the balls to ask, 'escuse me, is this Mr. Joven's class?' one classmate even dropped that subject out of dismay.she cried while talking to
Mr. Joven! I was so disappointed, to think that i centered all my classes around that subject only to find out that the teacher i wanted to have was replaced! Oh my.That sucked big time.i had a talk with Mr. Joven and he explained to us that that morning, when he arrived, there was a note telling him that he's not going
to be our teacher anymore.i was so dismayed!!! Damn that freaking registrar! naman!!!!He doesn't even have a class at 10:30 so why remove him? naman!!!

After a 3-hour break, it's my Filipino, 3-4:30. okay, i'm pretty optimistic about her class.i know i'll get a good grade, i just have to be creative and be concentrated.i know i can do it even if i'm so bored with the subject.

i went home agad. my heart thundered like hell as i passed by E------a for fear of seeing some people i really don't want to see, lalo na i got the window seat. Thank God there weren't no insects or anything yucky-thingy. Anyway, as I got near that much-fretted place, from afar, i saw the skirt i knew so well and i can hardly breathe.Thankfully, there weren't anyone then i saw her.i was so
shocked because she even rode the same bus! She sat in the back, buti na lang i sat on the front.grabe talaga.i tried to talk to her when we both got off the bus but i didn't see her after that so I went home.i know i have to talk to her and all but there just never seems to be an opportunity...i don't know if it's fate or what.but whatever.

I saw on TV a strip of news about a museum inside the Bilibid Prison. You know what kind? A death penalty museum! As in, andun ung pictures ng mga taong nacondemn with death penalty...since 1920's pa daw and the first ones to get that sentence were Japanese prisoners of war. tapos meron pang mga electric chairs. ung mga unang electric chairs na ginamit dati.You know why they did that, to
show how much they changed na daw...tapos may mga livelihood stuff that the prisoners do daw...

ay grabe.ngaun ko lang nalaman na ung mga plays na pinapalabas pala nila sa school bayad na, kasama na sa tuition. so im gonna take every opportunity to watch every freaking play that i can cram into my schedule.

so un lang.it's one hell of a day. parang roller-coaster.happy-dismay-happy-surprise-nothingness.

i hate my wisdom teeth.they're just teeth made to give pain to mankind or for others, made to make the dentists/surgeons richer and us poorer. grrr..

gtg.ingat.....what a freaking time

observe the world around me

2005-11-07T18:54:00.000+08:00

surveys muna..hmmm...

1. Nakikinig ka ba sa teacher?

~most of the time..

2. Kumain ka ba ng balot?

~dati..ngayon hindi na eh..

3. Sumuka ka na ba sa sobrang hilo?

~dati..when i got really sick..

4. Nakagulpi ka na ba ng tao?

~haha..hindi.gulong oo..sana nga tao un eh. [bad..]

5. Nang mamanyak ka ba?

~kay monster..hihi :) sabi nila oo..pag pinapalo ko butts ng friends ko..hehe. there's no malice in that naman eh..

6. Naninigarilyo ka ba?

~yuck......

7. Uminom ka ba hanggang hindi ka na makatayo?

~no..

8. Nkasakay ka na ba ng kalabaw?

~hindi!!horse pa lang..nung high school..saya nga eh.. :)

9. Naramdaman mo na bang mamamatay ka na?

~oo..hehe :) natural and self-made causes. hihi

10. Nayakap mo na ba crush mo?

~oo.. :) pero wala akong crush ngayon eh..

11. Naglalaro ka ba ng apoy?

~nung bata ako! enjoy nga eh.. :)

12. Napaiyak ka na ba sa sakit ng katawan?

~no..sabi ni tix pain-tolerant ako..which i guess is true.

13. Masakit bang masuntok?

~oo!si mavic kasi eh!

14.Marunong ka bang magRO?

~hindi kami nagganyan eh.. :( sayang..

15. Handa ka bang mamatay para sa iniibig mo?

~depende.

16. Masarap bang kumain ng pagkain?

~sobra!!i mean, i have to watch the figure and all pero mmm..sarap kumain eh... :)

18. Namamato ka ba ng bato?

~ngayon? hindi.gamit lang.hehe :)

19. Nagtaksil ka na ba sa kapwa mo o kahit sino man?

~ha..ewan ko..i guess so..

20. Nakatapak ka na ba ng tao?

~oo ata..

21. Nakatanggap ka na ba ng regalo sa buong buhay mo?

~yes..

22. Nag-iimagine ka na ba ng bad?

~oo..lahat naman ata eh..

23. Nakikita mo ba sarili mo sa salamin?

~oo..hindi ako mumu..monster lang..

24. Alchoholic ka ba?

~no way! eew!

26. Nakapanood ka na ba sa sinehan?

~oo naman..

27. Gusto mo bang pumatay ng tao?

~hindi nga....

29. Nakasuntok ka na ba ng kaibigan?

~si ian.pero di kami friends eh.basta hindi.

30. Gusto mo na bang mamatay?

~no way..

31. Nakipag away ka ba na umabot sa OPS?

~hindi ata...

32. Nawala na ba ang id mo?

~kala ko lang pero hindi pa naman..buti na lang...

33. Nawawala mo ba pera mo?

~hindi..

34. May nagsabi na ba sayo na tamad ka?

~oo..mga tao sa paligid ko..except si kat.hindi daw ako tamad eh.ewan ko ba dun..

35. May crush ka ba?

~NIL. :)

36. Sinabi mo na ba sa crush mo ang nararamdaman mo?

~no way..ayoko nga.pero somehow, they get that information.hmm..

37. Napaaway ka na ba?

~oo..!kay ian!haha..

38. Nagsinungaling ka na ba?

~oo..when worse comes to worst..

39. May nagtangka bang nakawan ka?

~wla pa ata..

40. Namimis mo ba ung crush mo?

~no..

######

1.nagsampay ka na ba ng damit mo sa likod ng ref nyo?

*** oo! :)

2.kumain ka ba ng chocolate ngayong araw na to?

*** wala ngang chocolate eh :( gusto ko ng cadbury.. :(

3.huling mall na pinuntahan mo?

*** hm..sm bic ata..

4.latest movie na pinanood mo?

*** dark light sa hbo..

5.umutang ka na ba sa tindahan?

*** no..

6.napanood mo ba yung concert ni allan, gladys at janno?

*** ano un? naaa...

7.kelan ka huling nagswimming?

*** nung nagpunta kaming palawan nung sembreak..saya! :)

8.nakapanood ka na ba ng live sa eat bulaga?

*** i never dreamed of doing so.

9.nagperform ka na ba sa isang play? anong character mo?

*** naman.angel.aswa ni herod.taong bayan.tao.worshipper.hehe :)

10.nasan ka ba ngayon ha?

*** sala..

11.iyakin ka no?

*** oo grabe. little mermaid makes me cry.hehe :)

12.kelan ka huling sumakay sa bangka?

*** nung nagpunta kaming palawan..im not sure of the date eh..

13.nakapunta ka na ba sa cubao?

*** oo pero dumaan lang kami ni ma..

14.edi nakapasok ka na sa gateway mall

*** hindi pa ata..

15.anong masasabi mo sa gateway mall?

*** aba ewan..

16.kumakain ka ba sa 7-11?

*** dati..

17.bumili ka na ba ng damit sa ukay2x?

*** uh..hindi eh..

18.na harass ka na ba nung nalasing ka?

*** hindi pa nga ko nalalasing eh..sayang.joke :)

19.sino katabi mo matulog?

*** wala..i mean.basta.mga bears ko..

20.nakipag away ka na ba sa school nyo?

*** i think.inaaway nila ko eh..hehe :) tahimik lang ako..si reg ata at d***..si choi.sino pa ba? haha :)

21.ano yung mga weird things na nagawa mo na?

*** ewan ko...di ko lam eh..

22.huling prutas na kinain mo?

*** mango..sarap! :)

23.huling song na kinanta mo?

*** kandila - sugarfree...ang ganda...

24.ano pala masasabi mo dun sa last movie na pinanood mo?

*** wala..it's okay..

25.close ba kayo ng mga pinsan mo?

*** not all...

26.ows? talaga? promise?

*** ?!?!

28.may ring ka bang suot?

*** wala eh..tinapon ko..dba monster?

29.ano yan, silver, gold or tanso lang?

*** un..silver..gusto ko white gold.hehe

30.e ano naman yung pinapakikinggan mo?

*** si tix, kumakanta at tumutugtog ng 'you'-karen carpenter..

31.nagsuklay ka na ba?

*** hindi ko gawain un!!wala un sa mundo ko!

32.kelan mo huling inaway kapatid mo? umamin ka!

*** ewan ko..i don't really keep track of it.

33.sino fave mo sa PBB?

*** wala eh..si SAY na lang.

34.sa tingin mo, bading ba si Uma ng PBB?

*** oo, feeling ko tlga.

35.natumba ka na ba sa bike?

*** oo.hehe ;)

36.e nadapa ka na ba?

*** oo.hehe :)

37.kelan mo huling nakasama mga barkada mo?

*** barkada..nung enrollment..

38.fave show mo sa mtv?

*** wala eh..basta maganda ung videos okay na.

39.nakapunta ka na ba sa intramuros?

*** oo.enjoy nga ko dun eh..parang pinoy.pinoy.pinoy talaga dun.

40.kelan ka huling gumamit ng webcam?

*** never.

41.kelan ka huling nagpagupit ng buhok?

*** nung summer siguro..

42.anong gagawin mo pag nanalo ka sa lotto?

*** depende sa price..let's say..3million.i'll 1million for my school fees.so 2million na lang.i'll go to england and italy with my family.singapore.disney land.tapos lalagay ko sa bank.

43.ang tanong, tumataya ka ba sa lotto?

*** hindi eh.hihi :)

44.epal ka ba sa mga friends mo?

*** ewan ko..am i?

45.anong plano mo ngayong halloween?

*** matulog.hehe

46.anong madalas mong gawin sa sementeryo pag nov.1?

*** umupo sa nitsa.hehe :)

47.may malapit bang mall dyan sa bahay nyo?

*** sm bicutan.hehe :)

48.anong oras na ba?

*** 06:18pm

49.san ka huling nagpunta?

*** sa.......simbahan kahapon..

50.what is the scientific name of acacia tree?

*** acacia....ewan ko.i'll ask pag nagkita na kami, ayt? :)

#####

1. friends or boyfriend/girlfriend?

* friends.monster friends.hehe :)

2. college or high school?

* college!!! i miss my fourth year, though. i mean..un skul, not the admin..

3. angelina jolie or julia roberts?

* julia roberts.

4. brad pitt or tom cruise?

* brad pitt.ang gwapo!

5. basketball or volleyball?

* basketball pag ate ko or friends ko naglalaro..otherwise,,i'll go with volleyball.

6. eastwood or malate?

* i've never been to either.

7. redhorse or strong ice?

* ...........neither............

8. tequila or vodka?

* ...........neither............

9. mcdo or jollibee?

* jollibee noh..for some personal reason, i dislike mcdo but their chocolate sundae is cheaper and their twister fries are yummy..

10. grudge or ring?

* eew.neither.

11. siNgLe or tAkEn

* sino? monsters rule :)

12. go for younger or older? (bf/gf)

* uhmmm..

13. j.lo or janet jackson?

* j.Lo

14. rubbershoes or sandals?

* sandals.

15. lotr or harry potter?

* harry potter na lang..lotr bores me.

16. cellphone or computer?

* uhm..both.

17. globe or smart or sun?

* sana sun..[sigh]

18. Christmas vacation or summerbreak?

* both....kaya lang summer bores me..

19. brains or goodlooks?

* brains, definitely.nakakamatay pag walang alam kausap mo!

20. have you watched return of the king?

* no...

21. when?

* .........

22. counterstrike or ragnarok?

* ... neither...

23. adventurous or romantic movie?

* romance..hehe :)

24. winston or marlboro?

* ...neither....

25. manila bulletin or inquirer or phil star?

* i trust inquirer most.

26. abs or gma?

* ABS.although pareho lang silang copycats ng isa't-isa.

27. pillow w/o blnket or blnket w/o pillow?

* eeeee....blanket without pillow.i can't sleep without something covering me..

28. girbaud or esprit?

* marithe francois girbaud

29. badminton or tabletennis?

* table tennis..

30. kisses or toblerone?

* kisses!!sobrang sarap..lalo na pag with almonds..yummm....

31. math or science?

* eeekkkk...science na lang..

32. nokia or samsung?

* kahit ano.ano ba mas quality?

33. beermen or ace?

* neither

34. o'sullivan or deuel?

* neither.

35. bmw or mb?

* mb.

36. mango or banana?

* mangoes.i frown upon bananas.

37. malls or bars?

* malls..hehe.

38. y ru answern this?

* kasi wala talaga kong magawa...

39. would you answer more surveys such as this?

* siguro..

40. who do you think will read this?

* si monster.

41. what's up?

* the roof.haha

42.bakit namimigay ng regalo si santa?

* para un mga taong walang regalo, may matanggap.hihih.

44.bkit malaki ang mata ng mga anime?

* para pa-cute.hihi

45. bakit tinawag na hello kitty si hello kitty?

* coz when you see a kitty..you say hello.heheheheheheh

46. bakit hindi na lang hi kitty?

* hm.don't worry, tatanong ko pag nagkita na kami. :)

47. dami ba tanong ko?

* okay lang..at least may ginagawa..

48. ano favorite mong color/s?

* white.black.lime.gold..pink

49. ano favorite mong tv show?

* ha..wala eh..totally spies siguro..

50. last question. ilan na ang naging cellphone mo?

* let's see...5110..3310..bosch..5210..tapos un ngayon..2100..so.. panglima ko na to! hehe :)

#####

nwei..napansin ko lang..nagbloghopping kasi ko kanina.tapos parang ang dark nung dalawa..un isa naman, walang kwenta..i mean, hindi sya interesting..un isa, God, parang ako dati.heartbroken na puro poems ang blog nya! napaisip tuloy ako..never knew na ganun sya.na ganun..basta.tapos when i got the chance to get my friendster to work, ang sad nung name nung isa..im not okay.parang..okay...wala lang.ang sad naman ng mga tao sa school..nung nagcollege ako, parang ang saya ng mundo..looking back on my last link sa taro, parang ang lungkot ng mga tao? i don't have a reason to be sad.if anything, im happy.majorly.

excited na ko magpasukan.nako joven, uno na ko sayo tlga. i'll make sure of that.naku naku naku..excited na ko makita si ian, get a stick and hit him in the head with all my might.whenever i see that son of a gun, i get this urge to slap him.haha.he's so damn irritating kasi eh!!! sobra talaga.his personality ranks there with mark and carlo on the crummiest personalities [na guy].. sobra. laln..

monster bakit ba ayaw maniwala nila yayhie ha? kaw kasi nagtinginan pa kayo ni kc.announcement: yayhie..dina..danna g..hindi po. hehe :) diba monster, hindi naman? for them, at least hindi.

miss ko na sila...

babyboy,
babygirl,
fayerz ko..
chamimay
chippy! :)
darling06 ko.. :'(
monster ko..
baby gulp..
COLC..si abi..!
sugar16 :)

hay..laln..ang ganda tlga ng 'you're beautiful' ni james blunt.. mejo sad nga lang pero it's nice..actually, wala lang akong magawa kayo i keep on rambling on about semi-useless stuff.

napansin ko parang napakapolitical ng pieces ko lately.this is sooo not a political blog.those are just thoughts crammed in my head which i sooo wanted to release.

napansin ko lang.im so sentimental and i love bright colors..kasi happy pag bright..unlike in this blog, when i go for bright, im not hiding under the happy-facade.im not..masaya lang magopen ng blog na happy....naaapektohan nga ko pag nakakakita ako ng blog na malungkot eh..parang ang dark.that's why i love black WITH white, lime, yellow, gold..basta bright and happy colors..kaya enjoy ako sa orange..sa bright pink..sa lime.sa yellow..ang saya eh..nkakalift ng sad mood..kaya nga tuwa ako sa blog ko eh..kasi white.it's actually semi-pink but it's so light pink it's almost white.nuf said. andami na talagang nagbabagong buhay noh..wala lang..feeling ko lang..

what you see is what you get pala no..i mean, sa'kin..except when i act my best..when i hide every tear behind every laugh..sa mga piling tao lang ako hindi nagtatago..but when i have to hide, i hide. o sige na..i gtg. ingat!!

miss you monster ko!!!

weird

2005-11-06T14:05:00.000+08:00

the weirdness of things just puzzle me. they make me rack my brain for possible answers and what-ifs.

i have so many unanswered questions..maybe i'll carry them to my grave..maybe those questions are better left unanswered..but i can't rest peacefully if i don't know what happened. i have to know.that's how i operate...i have to know every angle before moving.maybe i'm like this because already took too many risks to not to be careful anymore.i'm just scared of the pain corners bring. i might be like this but i do take risks every now and then. jenna knows that, don't you? hihi :) [thanks for the precautions, kat.. :)] i'll be fine.maybe someday i'll learn to take a step with closed eyes and learn to live with it and just move on.coz that's how life is.that's what a life is.a cycle...maybe my life moves too fast; maybe too slow. but i do know that with every step, i'll have you beside me..diba? i know i'll always have chimmy and faye to verbally abuse. angel, jaja, and pyra to answer my love questions.. jkat, yan, and chie to tease, care for, laugh at and with..so there..yun lang..take care ... :) feels good to let the whole world know how i feel. hehe :)

candy-colored fonts and other ramblings

2005-11-06T13:27:00.000+08:00

it's sunday once again and i can't help listening to magic 89.9. parang sunday is the best time to listen to the radio.hehe :) parang ang sarap pag sunday.no stress, no worry! kahit may sakit pa ko.

butterflies flutter around me
i reach out to touch them
and they're gone
once again
riding with the wind

i realized i don't see you smile often.even when I see you, you don't smile.why? slowly, i'm beginning to know you better and i feel nice about that. angaling noh, after so many months, im starting to know you which is such a good thing. :) im happy about that..lalang. :)

#####
*Whats the last movie you watched?

[*] sa cinema: 40-year old virgin.. (i don't go out much)..sa house, mulanII..!!! :)

*If you could put together a concert of 5 bands, which bands would you choose?

[*] m.y.m.p, southborder, sugarfree, coldplay, orange and lemons!! :)

*Lyrics that sum up your love life?

[*] especially for you siguro..fix you? di ko lam....!

*Latest addiction?

[*] nil.getting the phlegm out of my system.joke..siguro books pa rin...

*Have you ever had the slight urge to kill someone?

[*] of course...naman.but i didn't act on that..

*What book are you reading right now?

[*] just finished reading hailey books..shopaholic takes manhattan..im still finding books to devour..

* ...bothers you right now?

[*] i know it's skin-deep pero im bother that i can't return liz's smile sa friendster..hehe :)

* ... was the best thing that happened to you this week?

[*] i don't know..nkapag-enroll siguro ko..joke lang..

* ... will you wish for if you have a genie?

[*] cd records..good business for my fam..to see the afore-mentioned bands play..to be happy..which is..

WHO...

* .the last person you went out with?

[*] family...

* ... completes your day?

[*] hmm? friends..

WHEN...

* ... will you watch a movie?

[*] pag lumabas na ang chicken little..or pag talagang napilitan, harry potter..it bores me now.

* ... was the last time you asked for help?

[*] nung enrollment.hehe :)

*What's In Your VCD Player?

[*] nil.

*What Time Did You Wake Up Today?

[*] past 7 am..

*Current hairstyle:

[*] ganun pa rin..still my wonderful, curly hair..hihi :)

*Can You Play An Instrument?

[*] yes, the piano..a bit lang.

*What were you doing 12AM last night:

[*] playing the computer.. had fun :)

*What do you think you'll be doing in 10years?

[*] happily working my ass off

*Are you paranoid?!

[*] oo naman.... :)

*First enemy?

[*] a few years after i was born, i met the thundering person of.

*Last crush?

[*] can't remember..si..m---- ata..

*Last CD/song played?

[*] hehe :) ever after !! :)

*Last annoyance?

[*] my cough and colds grr.

*San ka pupunta bukas?

[*] wala..sa 8 pa pasukan eh.. :) im soooo bored nga lang..

*Anong gagwin mo dun?

[*] wala..matutulog as usual...magisa lang ako!! :(

*Anong iniisip mo ngayon?

[*] sana gumaling na ko..wala na bang ibang magawa sa internet?

*San ka nakatira? (condo, village, apartment, etc.)

[*] sa milky way galaxy, universe, solar system, earth, asia, philippines, NCR, metro manila, paranaque, village. :)

*Sino ang gusto mo patayin ngayon?

[*] wala, syempre.. :)

* Anong ideal age mo to marry?

[*] ewan ko..hihi :) kahit kelan basta stable na ko and ready..

* Meron ka bang true friends?

[*] yes, thank God.i love them all.

* the place to be?

[*] kung nasan ung taong nakakapagpasaya sa'kin..at may food, malamig at comfortable.hehe :)

* latest regret?

[*] i don't like to regret anything eh...i have to stand by the things i did..diba? so there..i don't like regrets and i have nil regrets.

#####

hay..yey, nakapag-survey ulit ako, finally satiated my taste for answering surveys though i want more....laln.. im chatting with pyra right now.. hmmm.. happy monthsary sa inyo!! :) so there..i have to go now... mwuahugs!!

uy! :)

traditions and random thoughts

2005-11-06T00:33:00.000+08:00

watched MulanII kanina sa disney..it's nice but i like the first one better..i have this thing about originality..or traditions.. got to thinking that maybe traditions are not such a bad thing.. i mean, old practices can still be done but we have to go with the flow..i guess most of the time, it happens.

i got to thinking that maybe if we go back to our age-old traditions..though not the nomadic times nor the pre-spanish times.i mean, when we were experiencing prosperity..[for a time, i hope we did experience that.]..i also wondered..if we closed our doors to the world for a while, what would happen? sure, sobrang daming riots, i mean for such a long time we're the dumping place of all the retched products Japan, China, and the US produce and suddenly, we're not available for their dump anymore..so what would happen? will we be like China who progressed? Japan who's so advanced?bakit ang ibang countries na nakaexperience far greater pain than we have, progressive na? even vietnam's better than us. what's happening? sometimes, i think communism and the closed-door policy is the best thing we can ever have.i'll even welcome marcos back.though not with imelda marcos tagging along. he's good.probably the smartest president ever.he just got corrupted as with the problem in most politicians.
sometimes, i just want to let the whole world think that communism would be good.discipline is sooo not a bad thing. power is not a bad thing. money is not a bad thing. abuse of these, however, is a bad thing.too much discipline begets wariness, possibly opposition. from too much power arises morale degenaration. overflowing cash gives you too much reign on life and you lose a touch of what things really matter. sometimes, if we just step back, maybe we'll see what's really good for us. sigh.if only the shoutouts of a seventeen-year old kid like me could be heard all over the nation.

And thus, i'll stand alone in the darkness and judging stares with no hand to hold except God's, and God's alone. So help us, God.
--
good post by jenna :) on Nov. 1, 2005...**worth mentioning** http://jkat13.blogs.friendster.com

stuff i think

2005-11-02T15:09:00.000+08:00

i read kanina an article about the philippines..we've stepped back from progress.AGAIN.as always.hay.high rate of poverty daw.you know what i think? that poverty can be solved if only those people in the slums who are not well-off;who are included in the poverty line; should stop getting themselves pregnant, thus increasing the poverty rate.more mouths to feed, more babies to take care, more people to pollute and then blame everything on the government. hell.
they vote every election time, expecting the leaders to make a miracle and make them millionaires.duh.that's not how it works, people?!? im just really tired of seeing the poverty around us and know that it's partly their fault too..they should make an effort to meet the government programs at least halfway..tapos ang tamad-tamad pa nating mga pinoy.sometimes i just wish to get out of here and work like hell.so there.gusto ko lang mag-rant about them.

hay.i reread some stuff i wrote back then..eew tlga.kadiri to think that i took track of..basta.ala lang.tapos may narealize ako..na hindi ko man lang agad napansin..am i manhid? i guess i am.it never occurred to me na matagal na pala.on both sides.maybe i was just too blind or maybe it was too surreal to begin with.ngaun, everything's like a dream with reality creeping in every now and then and a flashback from the past pops in suddenly at the most unthinkable of moments and when i don't really want to remember anything.

so there..i just want to get things out of my system..now i understand what they mean when they ask:

who will you choose, the one who loves you or the one you love?

*i love 07*

everything burns...

whew

i'm back for another one...

rant

ranting

him

more

last day of the sembreak... :(

my dad

exorcising demons

milenyo

the problem with hello is goodbye

crazy night

thank God i found YOU

hay

some pics from my phone..

stars are blind.

my reply

Persuasion and whatnots

...

?!

speechless.more messages from his freaky highness

weird stuff

make my blood run cold

damn it!!!!

lovelovelove

rejection

new entry and whatnots

past stuff

confessions eew

wrong identity.

new day, new entry

flick the pain away.

rantings of a teen queen

haye

blah and what nots

:)

except for the part that i care about mimi the most..the rest is pretty much true... :)*you've got to hold your head up high...

stuff

survey and pics..

laln.

what a great piece..

no classes and some bummed thoughts

i love you

*sigh...*

obsession

save me..

crap obsession

stress relief

---

--31 things about me and other ramblings--

survey from abby11 :D

lovapalooza and other pathetic ideas

wla ln

o7

at long last

the crazy thing called ME.

christmas wishes..

my Christmas list and other blahs.

sigh

where are you?

first day and other damned stuff

observe the world around me

weird

candy-colored fonts and other ramblings

traditions and random thoughts

stuff i think

i love 07

except for the part that i care about mimi the most..the rest is pretty much true... :)
*you've got to hold your head up high...

sigh...