[[- * phoenix.fire

Sunday, May 28, 2006

| | | | | |

my cat died.
i lost my Angel earrings i've been wearing for the past 6 years.

what next?

=s

just got back from my hiatus.

okay, two weeks ago..last may17, a friend came over..then that weekend, i went to laguna with my family and other relatives..overnight swimming..

then the next wednesday, i got sick.

last night, i went ballroom dancing with 6 men. 3 dance instructors..my dad, a relative, and my mum's friend. We danced...from 9am-230 am. which is a long time to dance on HEELS. thank goodness i had the sense to wear wedges and not stilletos. i danced..rhumba.cha-cha.swing.tango.waltz.boogie. if i forgot something, i don't know what it is na..aun lang :)

ho-hum.

no more losses for tomorrow.

please! =(

fire.phoenix.goddess
7:34 PM

0 lovers

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

| | |lovelovelove | | |

It's funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love while at the back of our minds we know that the person we trully love will always be an exception - ally mcbeal

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place,suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace,suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste,it all revolves around you.-- Moulin Rouge

You make me want to be a better man-- As Aood As It Gets

In these dreams I've loved you so, that by now I think I know what it's like to be loved by you. I will love being loved by you.-- The King and I

Sometime you'll kiss someone and know that's the person you're supposed to kissfor the rest of your life.---NEVER BEEN KISSED

The only wrong thing would be to deny what your heart truly feels.---THE MASK OF ZORRO

You will see a lot of things,But they will mean nothing to you If you lose sight of the one you love.---AT FIRST SIGHT

If you love someone you say it...YOU SAY IT RIGHT OUT LOUD....or the moment just...passes you by.---MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING

I would rather have had One breath of her hair,One kiss from her mouth,One touch of her hand,Than an eternity without it...---CITY OF ANGELS [ OMG c'= ]

When you've found that person you want to spend the rest of ur life with, you want the rest of ur life to begin right away."---When Harry Met Sally

"if two people are meant for each other, itdoesnt mean that they are meant for each other NOW." ---pacey whitter "DAWSON'S CREEK"

I know it's a cornball thing, but love is passion,obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels. Find someone you love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart... Take the risk, if you get hurt,you'll come back. Because the truth is, there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love -- well,you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived... Stay open. Who knows? Lightning could strike.---MEET JOE BLACK

Man: "Will you love me for the rest of my life?"Woman: "I will love you for the rest of mine."---PHENOMENON

I guarantee it won't be easy. I guarantee that at one point One or both of us is going to want to leave.But I also guarantee that If I don't ask you to be mine, I am going to regret it For the rest of my lifeBecause I know in my heart You are the only one for me.---RUNAWAY BRIDE

"The only feeling of real loss is when you love someone, more than you love yourself."---GOOD WILL HUNTING

You cannot find true love where it does not truly exist. And you cannot hide it where it truly does.---KISSING A FOOL

I created my very own first breakup rule:

1. Destroy all pictures where he looks sexy and youlook happy.

Breakup rule No. 2: Untilemotionally stabilized, enter no stores.

Breakuprule No. 3: Never stop thinking about him, evenfor a moment. because that's the moment he'llappear.

And finally, the most important breakuprule: No matter who broke your heart or how longit takes to heal, you'll never get through itwithout your friends.---Carrie, from the sitcom SEX AND THE CITY

" i miss you so much it hurts"---SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE

"Half my days i cannot bear not to touch you,the rest of the time i feel it doesn't matter if i ever see you again. It isn't the mortality,it is how much you can bear....."---THE ENGLISH PATIENT

Do you believe in love? I bet you don't, you're probably too sensible for that. Have you ever seen someone and you know that if only that person really know you, they'd dump the perfect model they were with and realize that you are the one they want to grow old with? Have you ever fallen inlove with someone you've never talked to? Haveyou ever been so alone you spent the night confusing a guy in a coma?---WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

"i'm here to love you, to hold you in my arms and to protect you. i'm here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. i'm here coz there's no other place to be."---MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

"When you kiss someone, everything around you becomes hazy... and the only thing in focus is you and this person... And you realize that this person is the only person you should be kissing for the rest of your life... And for one moment,you get, this amazing gift... And you wanna laugh and you wanna cry... Cuz you feel so luckythat you've found it and so scared that it'll goaway all at the same time..."---NEVER BEEN KISSED

if two people love each other, but just cant seem to put things together, when would that point be.. when one would say enough is enough?NEVER.---THE MEXICAN

"There are some people who meet that somebody that they cannever stop loving, no matter how hard they try.I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever."--- Ally Mc Beal

********************************************************************

i never knew guys could cry.

i never knew guys get heartbroken over girls too.

i never knew they would also have a hard time letting go and moving on.but lately, i'm proved wrong again and again by the two people i never expected to hear those words from.

funny.that every solid thing you thought you knew seems to dwindle to nothing but...mistakes. ha. lalang.
so i ..."borrowed" this from my friend's blog. it just seems really nice quotes... God i'm in love.

happy 16 baby...

i don't know what i've done to deserve you, to deserve this happiness. God i love you.

fire.phoenix.goddess
8:01 PM

0 lovers

Sunday, May 14, 2006

| | | | | |

its raining.

God i love the rain.

][ dance in the rain naked and LIVE. ][

fire.phoenix.goddess
5:35 PM

0 lovers

Thursday, May 11, 2006

| | |rejection | | |

okay so i did send it. there were no mailerdemon so that means it was successfully sent, i had the correct message, i put all the details. so that means it's either rejected or they haven't read it yet. Oh God i do wish they will accept it. and that i'll be notified. Newspapers are expensive and i just can't buy one everyday... :( sigh.

im a bitch. im controlling. i dominate over people i find pathetic, over people who cannot reject me. thus i look up to people who do not give me all their attention because it poses a challenge. hamper my temper Oh God.

hay...aun lang.

fire.phoenix.goddess
10:40 AM

0 lovers

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

| | | | | |

A survey.and survey.and survey.

1.)First thing you do in the morning
-- check my phones and look at the time.

2.) Favorite game when you were highschool
-- hm...i don't know? ooh..thum-wrestling.

3.) Person you always wanna text
-- no one, really.

4.) Things you wanna change in your past
-- hm..ewan.nothing much..

5.) Would you like to travel in your past?
-- yes...!

6.) Wat'ya looking for in a guy/girl (friend)?
-- sweet.nice.ayaw ko ng clingy...

7.) What dessert do you love most?
-- chocolate ice cream :)

8.) You're turned off if?
-- too arrogant or cocky

10.) Have you ever been in a relationship?
-- uh-huh.

11.) First BF/GF?
-- hmmmm...

12.) You wanna read the book______ right now?
-- memoirs of a geisha.

13.) Where do you wanna go?
-- coron, palawan. i miss that place :( it's so beautiful there..!

14.) Do you like textin?
-- okay lang..i can live without it..basta pwede tumawag :)

15.) Do you like chattin?
-- okay lang..parang texting din..

16.) Honor student?
-- hindi nga umaabot eh :(

17.) highest grade?
-- hs?...97 i think. college..uno! :)

18.) Are you good looking?
-- hindi...ka...nagkakamali. yuck ang vain...!!

19.) Are you thinking of your special someone right now?
-- not really. mejo worried lang.

20.) Silent type or not?
-- half-half.

21.) Funny or serious?
-- half-half.knows when to be funny and knows when to be serious.

22.) If someone tells you "I Love you" what would you say?
-- depende kung sino syempre...

23.) If someone kicks you what would you do?
-- turn around and slap the hell out of that ass.

24.) Are you passionate?
-- on most things, yes. :)

25.) Do you like surprises?
-- hm...half-half. if it's the kind of surprise that will wreck you..no thanks!

26.) If you like him/her you will____
-- get to know the person of course..

27.) Do you cry over boys/girls?
-- ehem.

28.) Are you inlove?
-- next question?...i don't really know.

29.) Do you wanna die? Why?
-- now? hindi naman...wag muna.i feel okay pa naman.

30.) What bores you?
-- boring stuff ;)

31.) Special moment with a guy/girl?
-- hm?...wla pa eh.siguro if i go out on a candlelit dinner, un ang special

32.) Last person you talked to (CP)?
-- hmm..chie ata.

33.) Last person you gave your sweetest smile? Why?
-- sweetest smile? wla!!

35.) Cakes or ice cream?
-- both!! yummy!

***********************************************************************************************

1. nahahalata mo ba pag may gusto sayo isang tao?
? hindi.meron bang nagkagusto? hmm..

2. ok naman lovelife mo ngayon?
? what lovelife? what "okay"?!

3. naranasan mo na bang tumakas sa bahay para lang makita mahal mo?
? uh..no?

4. uso pa ba diga ngayon? alam mo na, ung nanliligaw?
? skn oo. i think it's part tlga in a relationship eh!

5. nung natulog ka kagabi, anong huli mong inisip?
? God i'm sleepy.

6. napanood mo ba american idol kagabi?
? nuh-uh. i don't watch that.

7. naniniwala ka bang bading naman talaga si uma?
? aba ewan.if he is, no problemo.

8. anong mas ok? mafall sa bagong tao o bumalik sa pinakamamahal mong ex?
? mafall sa bago noh..ano'ng bumalik? past is past!

9. halata ka ba pag inlove ka na?
? i think so? oo..hehe :)

10. nagmamatter ba pera sa isang relationship?
? not really. not right now.siguro in the future, you have to have stability kasi eh.

12. alam mo ba na yung magtetext syo sa loob ng isang oras e ang taong talagang magpapasaya ha?
? really now..hmmm..

13. kaya mo bang paglaban sa parents mo yung gusto mo?
? okay ka lang?!

14. kung hawak mo lang ang future mo, anong gagawin mo?
? study at oxford, graduate summa cum laude, be the top businesswoman five years after i graduate, earn 5million pounds a year, go back to the Philippines and serve the people. Have my own house.

15. pag nawala ba ang trust sa relationship, pro mahal mo pa sya ng malupit, worth it ba syang ibalik?
? ewan.im trying but i just can't seem to be happy lately.

16. san ang gimik mo mamaya/ bukas?
? sa harap ng tv ng magulang ko!

17. anong part ng lechon gusto mo?
? ew wla.i don't eat that.

18. kelan ka huling nakipag-make love?
? hmmm..never?!

19. mahal mo ba sya?
? siya?

20. bat di pa maging kyo?
? ay ewan.

21. pro gusto mong maging kyo?
? ha?!

22. mas sweet ba ang tao pag nakainom?
? ah...ewan. mas maniac ata?!

23. may nagawa ka na ba nung lasing ka na ni-regret mo the next day?
? i've never been drunk..!

24. anong ayaw mo sa mundo?
? war.crimes.

25. anong masasabi mo sa pinag-copy paste- an mo nito?
? you have great surveys mcanjelly.

*************************************************************************************************************

1. Sino LOVE mo?
-- syempre ikaw lang!! :)

2. Sino MISS mo?
-- syempre ikaw lang!! :)

3. Sino HATE mo?
-- aba.syempre ikaw pa rin :)

4. Sino Crush mo?
-- ikaw pa rin :)

5. Brand ng Shirt mo?
-- guitar.ahehe.

6. Brand ng Watch mo?
-- ewan ko..

7. Brand ng Footwear mo, Slippers and Shoes?
-- usually..rl..

8. Brand ng phone mo?
-- nokia..and sony ericsson.

9. Brand ng Shorts mo?
-- ah..i made it. well my mum made it.

10. Waistline mo?
-- i don't wanna know!!

11. height mo?
-- too vertically challenged. don't ask.

12. hatest Person in the world?
-- ikaw nga..hehe :)

13. School mo?
-- uap :) in ortigas.

14. Squatter daw school mo?
-- really? no one will ever dare say that.

15. tuition fee ng School mo?
-- secreto ko na un!

16. Sexual orientation?
-- whazzat?!

17. Favorite hot-spot?
-- coron tlga.

18. Favorite TV Channel?
-- hmm...disney? hehe :) studio 23? hbo?

19. Naiintindihan mo ba pinagsasasagot mo dito?
-- slight...

20. Any Favorite one-liner?
-- freak!

21. Favorite Actor?
-- none really.george clooney? richard gere?

22. Pangit naman un eh. agree?
-- sino? they're hot kaya.for oldies.

23. Favorite Actress?
-- smg :)

24. Pok-pok daw siya dati?
-- ay hindi kaya!

25. Kanino mo nakuha survey na to?
-- sa bulletin ko..

26. Friend mo ba siya?
-- hm..sa friendslist ko sya eh..

27. Close kayo?
-- nope.i don't even know her personally! :) she just posts great surveys.

28. hindi naman daw eh?
-- ano?!

29. Ows?
-- okay...

30. Anu masasabi mo sa kanya?
-- rich kid!?

31. Crush mo?
-- sino?!

32. Maganda/gwapo ba siya?
-- i think.based sa pic niya, she looks pretty.

33. Sinungaling ka eh?
-- kapal!

35. Any family business?
-- what?

36. Any Business?
-- hm?!

37. Easy to fall in love?
-- with someone else? pwede ba.

38. Masaya ka ba?
-- now?....UH...

39. Any wishes?
-- sigh.

40. gago ka ba?
-- yes.grabe oo.

I did it. I finally did it. I really hope it will be accepted. I waited one whole year to write a really good piece. I won't reveal yet what i did because i'm afraid na baka mareject yun. Basta i'm happy that i tried. if it gets rejected, i'll try and try again until i write something passable enough for them to accept it. It's almost 12:30 and my sis is still on the phone. I'm getting quite sleepy na to stay OL ng mtagal..hmmm..un lang..

fire.phoenix.goddess
12:38 AM

0 lovers

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

| | | | | |

Well..after chatting with him for around 4 hours, i think i'm finally becoming unintrigued. Which is kind of a good thing because o16 cried again.

I'm getting the hang of making poop cry. Shit i'm mad. I think i just need to calm down. I'm really wound up. Eh kasi naman. Sigh. I like tried to part

ways...three or more times already...in two days. I'm crazy. I'm mad. I'm insane. I don't like him that much anymore. Now that the puzzle is finally

over. Yeah, he's really sweet and all to everyone but that's just it. I'm over. But i don't wanna tell o7 yet coz...baka bumalik. so pag talagang wala

na...tska ko na sasabihin na wala na talaga...diba? yes, smart-me :) Shit ahs.

*o7_iLoveYou_o16*

wala lang.

"It's hard to love someone who can never be yours. Time would give you chances to talk...chances to be together...chances to share... See how it

hurts? You only have chances...JUST CHANCES."

gusto ko lang ishare...it's from my friend. I feel out of loop. Haven't really talked to anyone else. Okay, i'll just share quotes and what-nots.

"To fly, you have to have resistance" - Mya Lin

"Love is not the absence of hurt, not the state of perfect happiness, not with the feeling of security. Love is surpassing all by being with that someone and knowing that she’s worth it."

"There are tulips in the garden, there are tulips in the park but nothing is more beautiful than are two lips meeting in the dark..." :)

"I tried to take the pain away by finding someone new...But then i came to realize, no one compares to you. And even if i look around pretending not to cry, i'll always go back to the day you finally said goodbye." :(

Yan na lang muna... Sige...wala kaya ko masabi...ay share ko muna 'tong song.

FIX YOU - coldplay
When you try your best but you don't succeed.

When you get what you want but not what you need

when you feel so tired but you can't sleep, stuck in reverse...

and the tears come streaming down your face...

when you lose something you can't replace...

when you love someone but it goes to waste...could it be worse?

lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones....

and i will try to fix you...

and high up above, or down below...

when you're too inlove to let it go...

but if you never try, you'll never know just what you're worth...

tears stream down on your face,

when you lose something you could not replace...

tears stream down on your face and i...

tears stream down on your face,

upon the street where you learn from your mistakes...

tears stream down on your face and i...

lights will guide you home

and ignite your bones...

and i will try...

to fix you...

God i love this song. Really love this song. It just takes my breath away. In fact...this reduced me to tears when i listened to it again and again in

Sarah's ipod...last August. guess where i was then? At the guidance office. No, i was not there coz of some rap... It was...i don't know, about a

psychological test we took at the start of the sem...Nobody was there anyway so it was kind of okay lang...

Do you watch America's next top model? Grabe. Keenyah and Kahlen are really beautiful. And brittany of course, is ubersexy. Rebecca looks

like reese witherspoon which makes me hate her coz reese is pretty, therefore giving her somewhat of an edge? But not really. Keenyah tlga. Grabe.

Aun lang. see, i told you i won't watch pbbt anymore... Just seeing Nina's face flirting with bam makes me want to vomit. Kaya i didn't watch it talaga.

Grabe. Another sandara park-like na naman ba to? Wala lang.

I love to rant.really. Shucks i am so tired. I hand-scrubbed our floors [of course it's dirty na coz when my family entered, their shoes were dusty. So

much for the cleaning part.]. Anyway. I hand-scrubbed our floors Cinderella-type. Okay i have to go now. My dad's telling me to go to sleep. Argh. I

don't know what happened but i'm waaay irritated. Really. I'll OL tomorrow. sheesh.

fire.phoenix.goddess
12:08 AM

0 lovers

Monday, May 08, 2006

| | |new entry and whatnots | | |

we had a pretty long conversation. In fact, i saved it. And now, rereading it makes me want to cry coz i feel so stupid that i have let my defenses
down. He said i'm responsive and i bit my tongue. i didn't want to ask what he meant by that. And i know that the time we spent was not anything
special coz he was always like that with people. He said the main reason he tickles me is because im responsive. yes, i tickle him back or i slap him
really hard when i want to. He hugs me whenever he hurts me physically but im used to hugs. [Sean hugs me too. And david. I hug BJ :D after all,
he's BJ...heheheh :) the guy that we always make fun of because he is nice, but funny, in a weird kind of way.] But it is NOT anything special. As he
said, he's still gung-ho on his girl...And i can't compete with a memory. Memories are, and always will be, hard to replace like hell.

OMG i almost died when he said..."looks like someone has a crush on someone. xDF"...Thank God i only answered with "Bakit?"

I am so dead if he ever gets to read this. Really crappy dead. And his parting words are: See you on Wednesday and then he logged out quickly.
Wednesday? Training day. i never expected him to go to my school again after the tournament. I mean, after all, why?! Siguro, he just really wants to
go out of the house.

He asked if i want a kiriban [a free art thing whatev] and i said yes...pink stars, white moon, and black background. He draws/sketches, whatever. I
paint. Well, not really. I mean, i am not good. I paint what i feel and what i feel comes out nice on paper. Ahaha :) i don't know how to draw one of
my dream drawings. A crooked hand set in black paint. With blood all around...covering half of the face of the girl. Bloody? Not really. Dark? I guess
so. Yun nararamdaman ko before [Feb]...

God i love to blog.

And then we talked about other stuff na padaan lang...Nothing substantial, really. And i think i went crimson when he corrected me. hehe... well ganun
talaga siya. Now i don't know why the hell i'm blogging about him for days... Shit, im crazy. Im an ass. Im stupid. This is worse than my biggest crush
last year. Oh God i'm stupid.

I pretended i didn't know his blog. his art site. Of course i know it, i found the link on his friendster. But kunwari pa ko na i didn't know it. Syempre i
had to keep things a secret. It's not cool to blow my "calm" cover. Truth be told, i was chatting with sarah and henry at the same time...I was telling
henry all about my feelings and how cold my hands got. And i was chatting with sarah about inane stuff just to distract me. Nah, i miss that girl :D
And then, there i was, going crazy about yming him...And here i am, completely, utterly TAKEN. yes, i'm stupid. i'm insane. But this is really just a
crush so what the hell? i swear, it's just a crush. I hope it's nothing more. And hopefully, soon, something less.

i was watching animal planet again kanina...ang sexy talaga ng cheetah and bears...awww :D laln...i feel happy when i see those animals eh...

naku may ipis daw sa ilalim ng piano and its actually right across me...eeew yuck...!!! Im scared to death of tarantulas...flying balls [really traumatized]...
and cockroaches. EWWW THE GERMS... ='( it can make me cry actually. haha. just thinking of the germs they bring... Shit. makes my hair stand on
end.

I was going to make kwento about something i forgot. hmmm...

Here's a song for you...You know who you are. I'm not trying to make you cry...I just think it's bagay. I'm not making patama or whatever. I think, in
fact, it will help you to come to better terms with your...[put in nicely] liberation [or so i think].

Make it easy

If you really love him, there's nothing i can do...
don't try to spare my feelings, just tell me that we're thru...
and make it easy on yourself, make it easy on yourself,
coz breaking up is so very hard to do...
And if the way i hold you can't compare to his caress,
no words of consolation will make me miss you less
my darling if this is goodbye...
oh i just know i'm gonna cry...
so run to him, before you start crying too...
my darling if this is goodbye, oh i just know i'm gonna cry...
make it easy on yourself...
oh before you start to cry...

*o7_iLoveSeven_o7*

I'm in love with you so much...!!! Kahit sobrang dami kong crush...lamo naman how i really feel ... *blush* hihi :) Maybe you don't know it but whenever
other people call you theirs, i get really jealous. Pst. You're mine. Ha! Mine, mine, all mine. shucks i'm so possessive. And you're not texting.again!!!
=( Hmp! Sige, make me miss you. o8 ngayon!!!

- to the person to whom i dedicated the aforementioned song -SA PANAHON NGAYON. BAWAL MAGKASAKIT. awww... just kidding. DON'T
CRY, OKAY? if you have to...well, let it out. It happens to the best of us ;)

Haaay...i love the boredom talaga. Pag dating ng pasukan, i'll probably be so busy and so tear-eyed sa sobrang puyat. Maybe i'll become so
chinita from lack of sleep. Hehe...There's always a time for everything...Pagdating ng busy days ko, i'll be happy to be busy... and just freaking
wait for my sembreak to come again... I love learning ;) weird noh? it's fascinating, really. Anyway, enough crap about my nerdiness.

If i remember what i'll say, i'll still be here tomorrow to blog about it, you know. Laln. I'm damn bored. Take care :)

fire.phoenix.goddess
12:36 AM

0 lovers

Sunday, May 07, 2006

| | |past stuff | | |

These are some of my past poems..nung December pa to ... laln. i decided to share it here na lang. hmmm...

Someday
I will spread my wings and I will learn how to fly…
Someday. It will always be someday.
I will soar and glide over the mountains of my dreams
And pursue them one by one…
Someday. It will always be someday.

In the rain
We used to be together
And now you are gone.
And I am all alone in the rain.

Always in the rain.

804

I bow my head and cry
I reach out and catch the empty air
I let my tears fall and huddle deeper in the corner
With no one to save me
No one to hold me.
No one to love me.
Things will never change.

807

Lumilipad ang hangin sa paligid ko
Tinakluban ang sarili ng kumot at huminga
Nagdasal, naghintay na ang unos ay lumipas
At nalunod sa mga panaginip na walang kaganapan.

Survivor
Hush, do not speak
I am fine, I will be fine.
Let me wallow in the darkness
This is no different from the darkness I have been to before.

See? It welcomes me,
it beckons me to hasten my step
and to go back to the shadows
that I am sure I belong to.
Do not pity me, just ignore me.
I do not need you now just as you do not need me.
All my pride is all I have left,
Just be quiet and let me be.

I will call for you quietly in my sleep, in my heart
And yet I will never let you know,
Even when the pain becomes too much
Even when it kills me again and again.

Once again I will battle my way out
I will struggle and prevail.
Coz I have and always will be,

A survivor.

826

Hindi ko mailabas ang sakit sa kahapong nagdaan
Tulala sa pag-iisip ng sasabihin.
Ngunit ni isang salita ay walang mabanggit
Dahil iyon na lang iyon.
Isang kahapong nagdaan.

if you noticed, i only have one long poem and the rest are just stanzas/phrases...i've been trying to do that for some time now.. so there. how does it sound? well...past feelings ko na yan..trying to get over and whatever..so un lang.

im damn sleepy. as in really sleepy...i chatted till 157 with a friend...grabe tgal..whoooohoo.un lang. sige ingat...

LIZ: hope you'll be okay now. mwuah!

fire.phoenix.goddess
1:47 PM

0 lovers

| | |confessions eew | | |

my confession

okay. so i have taken up to watching pbbt. pathetic, really, i know.i didn't even watch the past ones and then i watched this.must be something with them being teens and all.At first, i watched it just to, you know, satisfy my curiousity.Then... They started talking about love which is just like one of my most favorite topics in the world.So i got itty-bitty hooked.i now know that bambam & nina [argh] are/were bestfriends and then bam falls in love with her.And then nina starts making lambing to fred na and they got really lovey-dovey while bam [i have to admit] acts immaturely enough to even erase my sympathy for him.

hands down, the cutest couples for me are: Matt [my crushie] and Olyn...and of course, Kim and Mikee! [when i first saw Mikee, i thought, oh...this is the guy who's so low profile and then voila! he gets the prettiest girl in the room. Nice! :)]

Anyway...
Nina is now evicted! YEAH!!!
Sorry, for those Nina-lovers, i just really don't like her pa-cute and maarte ways. Really.

Moving on...i'll narrate the history of my pbb-watching.

So the first ones were nene, right? I never watched that. My dad never allowed us to. He said it was not good for us coz it was bastos raw and stuff [but now he's lax na about it]. I only know that Nene won. In fact, the only time i ever saw Nene was on the last episode, you know, when she won? :) hehehe...
And then the next, the pbbc [or pbb celebrity edition] and i never watched that too except for like...one episode, i think, about john pratts and when...it was down to the last four. my MOM watched the eviction night. [funny noh? hehe.]
And then eto na. Even before classes ended, i heard about pbbt na and how people were joking about joining it. [i thought kaypee and rb really were going to join it though. teeheehee.] Then one day, Yan asked me if i watch that coz Chinggay, Rb, and someone else, i forgot, watches it daw. They were supposedly hooked on it. I said no. i don't watch that or the ones before that. i was just not interested before. Tapos i caught my eldest sister watching one episode when i barged in my parents' room. i said "Ew, you watch that?!" Then she said "Ka-age mo lang sila, o." i really got weirded out to tell you the truth. And then sam sends this gms about pbbt, about joaquin [who we both hate now] kasi she's so mad at him. hehe... so finally, one day, i was too bored and then i clicked on studio 23 and there they were. they were having a bath and i was waaay beyond bored. And then evening episode came in ABS and they were talking about love! My God, i really watched it! me, having a crush and all, and i got hooked on that episode. haha! :)

So that's my pathetic story. Although now that Nina is out of the house, i think my interest will lessen. i just really want her to get evicted eh. Haha! But i think i will catch a few episodes or wait for Sam's updates on what's happening in pbbt now that a new girl will come in... Nice,,,i wanna see whether Fred and her will connect. Hehehehe...moving on...

I was watching animal planet kanina [i do so sometimes] and they were talking about a couple of animals' defenses and then they got to talking about their horns and stuff.

FYI: do you know that animals' horns are actually hardened skin? :)

I gotta go now. i can't type anymore...

i hate my stalker with passion.

g'nyt...

fire.phoenix.goddess
12:17 AM

0 lovers

Friday, May 05, 2006

| | |wrong identity. | | |

i had a really...funny [at least for me] afternoon.

So at the start, sobrang boring talaga - as in boredom galore - kanina...Then around 5pm, a snotty girl called me up. At the start, she was laughing [now that i think about it, she must have been crying out of rage.] Eh mejo malabo ung connection [she called sa sun phone ko] and asked me if i know her. Natuwa pa ko coz i thought it was mimi na nangtrtrip. SAbi ko pa "si mia!" hehe! Tapos binaba. And then tumawag ulit. Ibang voice na. Sabi, "Hello, eto gf ng stalker mo. Wag ka magalala, hindi ka niya guguluhin." I called mimi up, asking her kung siya ba ung tumawag. sabi niya hindi daw and i realized na hindi nga, ibang voice eh... So i called up the girl. This was our conversation:

ME: Hello? Sino 'to? [i talked pleasantly, i swear. I mean, i was shocked.]

GF: Bakit, kailangan ko ba sabihin kung sino ko? [super taray voice]

ME: Eh tumawag ka eh...

GF: Pinag-tritripan lang kita!

ME: Sino ka ba? [By this time, i was getting quite confused.]

GF: Sino ka?

ME: Tumawag ka nga eh...

And then she put down the phone! Grabe. So i called mimi again tapos natatawa rin siya [i think]... Tapos i texted Liz, Coop, and Chie. Si Liz, thank
God, calmado.. Si coop and chie, galit na galit, grabe! Haha... They wanted the number and they wanted to fight with the person buti na lang i
persuaded them both not to...Although mejo mahirap coz talgang galit na galit sila...Gusto awayin ni Coop un guy..si chie, ung gf... So i texted the gf:

I don't know you and i certainly don't know who your boyfriend is. I think you have the wrong number.

And then she was surprised coz wrong # nga. So she apologized again and again. Thank God i kept chie and coop from texting her. That would have resulted into a big fight or whatever. lalo na, iba talaga pag girl, murahan diba...Laln.

Grabe i have a nasty head ache. Sigh. Ayaw ko na talaga siya maging crush. I mean, look at what happened, inaway ako kanina. Eh may gf din siya
eh...Loko talaga yang si liz.

LIZ: Hindi si genghis khan favorite ko eh...Si Attila the Hun favorite ko sa mongol conquest eh... ;) Kaw talaga...Porque mahilig ka sa CHInese eh...
tsktsk!

So ayun lang. i just wanted to share that...ayun lang...

Sobrang bored ako kanina...pinuno ko ng gms inbox ng mga friends ko..hehe :) aun lang..sige, sige..gtg..

Sana maayos na ni fayerz blog ko..

Faye, thanks po :) mwuah! mwuah!
Coop, love you. :) that was so sweet... :)
*16* Thanks b.. laln :)

hay..i'm inlove with james blunt's song : Goodbye my Lover... ang ganda ng song eh..laln.

+ Don't give in under the pressure of your own demands +

+ phoenix +

fire.phoenix.goddess
7:23 PM

0 lovers

Thursday, May 04, 2006

| | |new day, new entry | | |

bumabalik na naman pagsusuka ko. whenever i feel full, lagi akong muntik sumuka...pero pinipigilan ko talaga...ewan ko...lately, sobrang onti ng
capacity ko for food...as in onti.anyway...

i want.wla lang. ang gusto ko..hinaharana ako. kinakantahan..tinutugtugan ng gitara..sobrang maaatract ako pag ganun. hihi :) lalo na pag malambing
ung boses..o mababa.nakakatuwa lang talaga..kahit anong song..kahit sobrang corny.in fact, mas maaaliw nga ko kung corny kasi..parang kahit corny,
kakantahan ka pa rin..hihi :) ewan ko..inaaliw ko lang sarili ko..

so eto nanaman ako..i talked to jamiel [cui] kanina about hers...and my crush.ang funny nga eh.nagbukingan kami..lalang. un tlga, naaliw ako.i know i
need to talk to someone [as in real conversations and everything] but wala akong makausap..or at least, wala akong mahanap na kausap na you know.
basta un.tapos tlgang naaliw ako sknya.kwentuhan to the max kami until ginamit ng ate ko un fone..sayang, enjoy pa naman ako. laln.

parang msya mga tao ngayon ah? hehe..baliktad ang mundo.si aya ang masya at madaldal ngayon. laln.tapos ang saya ng mga tao.im not jealous or
anything over their happiness.im just...down.and not in any mood to laugh.

*o16* is asking stuff about my crush.i don't wanna discuss it naman. kasi syempre, mssktan lang siya if i talk about him pa diba.. ayaw ko siyang saktan
tapos siya naman magtatanong. wag naman ganun.. hay :( sige, open kung open pero wag ganun..kasi nagtatanong siya ng mga bagay na maaaring
makasakit sknya..dba..haaaay.aun lang..

sobrang blogging ako ngayon. i just really need someone to chat with.to take my mind off my troubles and what nots. i've been reading his profile again
and again. sobrang mysterious nya kasi. intriguing.really.

okay, this might sound a bit strange and vain or whatever but i have a song for myself. haha ... it's the song na gusto kong kantahin niya sa'kin.
NARDA. really.

"ako'y napatingin sa dalagang nababalot ng hiwaga...
mapapansin kaya sa dami ng yong ginagawa... kung kaagaw ko ang lahat may pagasa bang makilala ka
awit na nanawagan baka sakaling napakikingan pag-ibig na palaisipan sa kanta nalang idaraan
nagaabang sa langit sa mga ulap sumisilip sa likod ng mga tala kahit sulyap lang darna
ang swerte nga naman ni ding lagi ka nyang kapiling kung ako sa kanya niligawan na kita
tumalon kaya ako sa bangin para lang iyong sagipin
ito ang tanging paraan para mayakap ka
darating kaya sa dami ng ginagawa kung kaagaw ko sila paano na kaya"

it's a really sweetie song. no im not into kamikazee. un song lang na un. ang sweet kasi eh... ='( sino kaya kakanta niyan sa'kin? i'll wait. aha. joke lang...

okay i'll talk about him here.

i thought he's younger? He's not. okay technically he is coz i'm 8 months older but we're still of the same age. He's really...active [for lack of a better
term] and he loves to make me kulit for some inane reason. Well not just me, pati my friends..pero usually ako. moving on. He is so freaking
mysterious. I thought he was just this "makulit" guy but he's actually not. i actually think that's just a facade [this is such a john lloyd-bea alonzo story.]
coz when i read his blog [yes i actually "stumbled" upon it], he is SO serious. even his profile is serious. and he's sarcastic. smart. and short. hihi :D
this year..so far..twice ko pa lang siya nakikita..nung hatawan [yes, he's sporty] and one practice..where we didn't make "pansin" much. And he is so
full of teen angst. and he loves books. and he's a freaking stickler for english. [OMG i love that in people.] and he's caring [sobra.] and he's a freaking
OL player. and lastly. he's artsy [baka kasi mabasa niya to bigla kaya im saying words my way.hehe]. Basta nakakatuwa talaga siya. We even fought
about hP kasi he said di daw "actor" and i said he's still a cutee. hehe :) it's true naman kasi noh!!! well i guess...considering he's a guy, he'll probably
say that.

but he doesn't like me, okay? His profile says..."It's complicated"...okay, pwede magsinungaling sa friendster. but he's way too damn serious to joke
about that noh...so i guess, may ka m.u siya or whatever...and i saw a "picture"...tapos straight un hair nung girl...na nakaupo somewhere...and it
certainly isn't me. so there's no danger of his liking me back or whatever...and besides...basta.

if .... reads this? iyak yun, sobra. yes, i'll be open about anything but not about him. coz it will only hurt you... and i don't want to hurt you.coz if i hurt
you, i might lose you again. ayaw :'( wag muna. i'm happy with you eh ='(...kahit ilan pa crush ko. hay.

ay ang seryoso ko ba? laln...onga seryoso ko...kasi naman..wla lang..seryoso lang mood ko..

Nag-OL siya tapos biglang nagoffline.i guess ayw niya magchat or whatever. pero hyaan ko na lang...i'll let her be muna... sigh. i'm really sorry. sigh.

*o7o16_0seven0sixteen0_o7o16*